Yes, I am already maudlin in advance. But let’s keep a stiff upper lip and whatnot,
There is no early bird special, and I’d recommend Black Cats/Cherries (Peacock) over Bees/White Lives Matter (USA) at 10. You then gets a reasonable afternoon USA doubleheader, with Toffees/Geordie Arabia (12:30), followed by Mighty Whitey away to “in crisis” Spurs (3:00).
We will need to take interest in dramatics other than a title race this year, as King’s Afrikan Water Pistols are running away with this one. But hey, Chelski get them at home on Sunday (11:30, USA), just in case somebody wants to make a half-hearted effort on the title front.
I am typing this near HT of Dawgs/Jackets, but I don’t foresee Friday bringing any real shakeups to the playoff races. But lots of stuff still to be settled this final Saturday.
THEEEEEEEE (-9.5) at Michigan (Noon, Fox)
Look, if the Samsquanch ain’t beating UM this season, then he just ain’t gonna. But I’m thinking that Tree Nutz defense might just pitch a shutout.
Miami-FL (-6.5) at JV Yinzburgh (Noon, ABC)
I do not enjoy watching either of these high-mediocre teams play. But predictably, the networks don’t put any of their A (or even B) calibre material opposite The Game.
Oregon (-6.5) at Washington (3:30, CBS)
First game with realistic CHAOS! potential. Would a loss here knock the Quackers out of the field completely, or just cost them a home game? Fuck if I knows. Should be a close, low-scoring game.
LSU (+11.5) at Steerfuckers North (3:30, ABC)
Okiehoma is “win and in” and no chance if they lose. Luckily for them, LSU is pretty loudly “quiet quitting.” Which is sommet of a paradox, really.
Vanderbilt (+2.5) at Tennessee (3:30, ESPN)
I don’t know which team will win this, but I also don’t think it will be close. Make sense of THAT, will ya?
Wisconsin (-2.5) at Minnesota (3:30, FS1)
Battle of the motivational speaker prototype coaches. Loser sleeps in a van down by the river.
Aw, RIP Tom Stoppard. A hilarious literary weirdo.
Just learned from Brad Nessler that before Washington was the Huskies, they were the Sun Dodgers, which is frankly an excellent nickname.
Oklahoma is dicking around; missing the playoffs would be funny, but letting Texas sneak in would not.
There’s always one team that stumbles in Turn 4 and crashes into the wall.
“Did somebody say ‘crash’?”
Wisconsin-Minnesota is a Snow Game.
I slept off my shift, and woke up an hour. I still managed to score just as many points against Texas Tech as WVU did.
49-0 Guns Up!!
Hole. E. Sheet.
Both of us scored MOAR fantasy points on Thursday than Zay Flowers did!
Anyone else on this Norfolk St at CATS roundball action?
Beating on teams in ugly yellow is kind of in vogue this weekend.
Venezuela’s military has yellow uniforms?
I hope we are secretly selling the rich/poor the spoils of this expensive invasion as a way to make this war worthwhile.
It will make oil prices rise. Russia and Saudi Arabia will benefit tremendously. U.S. oil producers will benefit some as well. Prices for everything will rise, in particular gasoline. Consumers will be miserable and express shock over the leopards that are greedily munching on their faces. Dick Cheney will come back to life and begin pounding on the lid of his coffin demanding to be let out so he can negotiate a massive services contract on behalf of Halliburton.
But it least it’s about stopping drugs, even though he’s pardoning the former leader of Honduras, who’s in prison for drugs.
American fentanyl first!
Well now I’m gonna have zombie Cheney nightmares, thanks a lot
Aren’t the spoils just some flotsam from the small boats the people we’re murdering are on?
Murdering is such an ugly accurate word
November Lightning Delay? Sure, why not?!
Who cares about the JV Cincy vs. the Fighting Daltons?! I demand you show Dave Portnoy, FOX!
sommet I forgot – in the 118 times they’ve played one another, this is the FIRST TIME Vandy and UT have each been ranked
Wait, I may have just figured it out. Kiffin to make a surprise visit to the LSU game to deliver the rose?
They’re guarding the M!
Ohio State has defeat Michigan. The Universe is healing.
Let’s see if they dump a frozen block of Gatorade on Coach Day.
There is a time and a place for taking off your helmet when celebrating an interception and I am pretty sure this is it.
I’d run to the sideline and do it. Once you’re in your Bench Area, you can do a Five Minutes Long Dance Routine and the refs can’t flag you.
Am I a bad person for hoping enough snow accumulates for the crowd to start pitching snowballs?
Yes. They have batteries and the bleachers.
I was thinking about the amount of angry, drunk drivers in the snow. Ann Arbor is a pretty small town for that!
Given how (rightfully) pissy everyone got about my wife’s attempt to cut in line at Costco on a cheerful sunny day I can’t even imagine what it will be like trying to get out of the parking lot there.
“I have exorcised the demons. This house is clear.” – YouTube
“Not so fast…” – the Dr. Mrs. Deadly, firing up the Hoover
/I am not kidding she is literally vacuuming right now
everybody knows daemons be scared of the vacuum