All Apologies, Mundial Sábado A.M.

“Look at you, Cape Verde, it’s your World Cup début. How fun for you!” For thinking that and posting more patronizing stuff, I ask forgiveness.

To clarify: I seek generalized, abstract forgiveness, of course. I mean, pft. I’m not gonna seek out folks from Cape Verde and go

Hi. You don’t know me, but I minimized your country and culture, in thought and blog. And that was wrong of me. I’m sorry. Also, I’m a little short. (This economy…) Please accept my sadness as retribution and penance for the injury you didn’t know about until just now, when I told you. Talk about first impressions, amirite? Heh heh ☹

Nope. Not gonna incur in performative or narcissistic penance, which is a thing. A pathetic and hilarious thing, and therefore quality entertainment in theory, but I digress.

Spain, a World Cup favorite (who yesterday, trounced Austria 3-0 in the knockouts), is also the current European champion. Cape Verde tied Spain 0-0. Also yesterday, Cape Verde almost eliminated World Champion Argentina, and almost disabled by heart attack the Telemundo narradores aka Da Messibois. If you think Cris Collinsworth is bad, Andrés Cantor and the ‘bois make him sound like Jacques Derrida.

ARG 3- 2 CPV was the most exciting game in the Mundial and, I’m sorry to say, left me on a high despite the result. Argentina was playing at home, in hot and humid Miami. After 90’, it was ARG 1 – 1 CPV, both teams very tired. There were three goals in the extra half hour, and the Cape Verde equalizer was a rocket beauty:

Credit to the Telemundo crew. You can tell, from tone only, that they kept the narration evenly unhinged for both sides.

Total respect and thorough appreciation for Cape Verde. This was the team that put the biggest scare to Argentina, the World Champion and predestined finalist:

The current clubs of this Cape Verde XI:

No club
Columbus Crew
Shamrock Rovers
Al-Bataeh
Trabzonspor
FC Krasnodar
No club
Ludogorets Razgrad
Puskás Akadémia
No club
İstanbul Başakşehir

What we have witnessed tonight against the reigning champions is truly remarkable.

— Out of Context Football Manager (@nocontextfm1) July 4, 2026

Turning to the present, the ginormous 48 team-field has narrowed to 16. All hosts (CAN, MEX, and USA, alphabetically) are still in it. Yeah CONCACAF homies, you’ve delivered well so far.

It is especially sweet that it had to be precisely today that the 2026 World Cup Round of 16 starts. Because we can only live today, and there have been no off-days between rounds so far. By my count (because hand counts are faster than prompting and verifying), we’ve had 88 World Cup games in a row, scattered daily, which can seem excessive. The longest World Cup was 64 games. By comparison: the final of México 1986 was played on June 29. What day is today? July… early single digit. Yeah, this has been a long tournament. Praise Gamblor.

By my count (because scrolling through results and counting by hand is quicker than prompting AND verifying): of this Mundial’s past 88 games, 20 ended with a 3-goals-or-more difference. That’s 22% of games that included a clearly overmatched opponent (and Sweden and Czekia were in a buncha those). Less than a quarter of an inhumanly huge amount of World Cup games is an outstanding result. And, AND the referees letting the players hit each other, which I like, a lot. In fact, I dare to say,

Apologies. I came close to complimenting F*F*. Anyway, the orgy of games continues unabated.

Two African teams remain in the last 16: Egypt and Morocco. Seven African teams were eliminated in the knockouts. Except for Algeria (2-0 to the hated Swiss), the rest played to win, lost by a goal, and played absolute bangers–perhaps classic games. ARG 3 – 2 CPV, obvious classic. Aside from Cape Verde, Senegal gave it to Belgium 2-0, until a miracle comeback spurred by miracle substitutions by BEL (as noted by scotchy). DR Congo and England played a dynamite first half of futbol, but then Harry Kane happened* in the second half: final score, Kane 2 – 1 Doctor.

* After the ENG 4 – 2 CRO, I called England “murderous”. Correction: Harry Kane is an assassin. Bonus, Declan Rice is very great.

Getting back to Morocco: it is a true futbol heavyweight, sorry to repeat myself. The Netherlands had a very strong showing at the group stage and were riding an unbeaten Mundial streak of 16 games (technically, because losses through PK shootouts–ANYWAY). NED played afraid against Morocco, the freakin’ Netherlands: a group of bruising malcontents, were playing afraid. It is very difficult to see how any team could beat MAR

/squints and looks at room

Hrm.

GAMES

Canada v. Morocco – 1:00 EST

Imaginaries’ Stadium (Houston)

Apologies for my lack of faith, Canada. I’ll widen my perspective.

In this tournament, Morocco put four against Haiti, but only scored one goal in the rest of their games. I definitely don’t expect MAR to score two on CAN. Besides, I have it on good authority that Relevant Bono, Morocco’s outstanding goalie, is Canadian. I expect the Canadian players, per cultural imperative, to deploy passive-aggresion toward Bono through implications of ingratitude and him being opportunistic and treasonoUs. I trust coach Jesse March and elaborate trashtalk. Calling it,

Predicción: CAN 1 – 0 MAR. Gotta give the goal to Canada, because if it goes to PK shootout, there will be heartbreak. Make Bono defect back out of shame. CAN can, baybeh!

Paraguay v. La France – 5:00 EST

Battery Park (Pennsylvania)

Far and above the best team in the Mundial, I’m giving France the tOSU treatment until they go forward by winning by less than two goals.

Paraguay plays to demoralize. Brazilian fans put together this doozy thrashing reel of PAR’s elimination of Germany:

“ALEMANIA CONOCIENDO EL CLIMA DE COPA LIBERTADORES”.

El compilado viral que hicieron en Brasil. 🚬 pic.twitter.com/jrNCX96Cve

— Ataque Futbolero (@AtaqueFutbolero) July 1, 2026

The direct kick of the ball to the fallen German’s kidney is especially satisfying. The clima de Libertadores refers to the Copa Libertadores, the South American Shempiens, where Paraguayan teams try to crash and thrash their way through.

The narrative before and after PAR v. GER was the celebration of CONMEBOL ball: hard defensing and street futbol versus system ball played by hoity-toity academy alums. I think it’s hella fun to incorporate class resentment to sports (duh!), but: sorry; the narrative is too reductive and therefore wrong. Besides, I don’t think many in FRA’a vast, vast, VAST fortune of talented players are soft. Vast.

Paraguay will attempt to beat them physically, please Jeebus (violence woooo!), and hopefully the referee is wise and resolves an accidental PAR knee to a FRA liver with a stern glance. I will be watching for indiscipline; Paraguayans will be, the French… An angry La France might become more terrifying, or make them crumble under the weight of expectations if it’s 0-0 by minute 75’.

Predicción: Five yellow cards, two reds.

Finally, from the bottom of my heart: I wish a very happy and joyful Saturday to my USA friends. That’s the best I can do for today, fam. Overshare: I have worked dozens of 7/4s out of pure political spite. Dozens!

Ahhh, I can’t be mad at ya. I’ll throw a bone:

Never say I don’t love ya, passport-buddies. Have a lot of fun.

If you partake, enjoy the games. With apologies, this Mundial is rockin’,