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"I believe the original Oven Country was Poland." – scotchnaut

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Your Thursday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut

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And there’s a doubleheader even! Although these tired eyes will most likely not be exposed to the second game, I’ll tell you what.

Fantasy Alert:

Was Jayden Higgins on your radar? He’s that fella with a bit of promise that gets Nico’s leftovers in a run-heavy offense. He’s done for the year with an ACL kablooie. What I’m trying to say is that everything is coming up Tank Dell, who hasn’t played since December of ’24 and missed practice on Tuesday.

Can’t We All Get…?:

Not the Saints and Cowboys-both teams were fined a hefty 500k for on-going extra-curricular goings-on. You might want to include the Giants and Fins as well given that several players on each side were told to hit the bricks after engaging in brawling-like behavior.

Tonight’s Offerings:

Raiders/Texans

Niners/Chargers

It’s the shortest of intro’s tonight because I’m under the weather and sweating like two pigs.

 

 

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62 Comments
WCS

Someone trying to make the Diet Kroenke’s backup quarterback jorb just had a, “dig up, stupid!” moment by throwing the ball away on fourth down.

Interesting stratagem.

0
Senor Weaselo

…I just wrote 7400 words on robots. Why did I do that?

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WCS

How many robots did it take to write 7400 words on? Did you use a pen or Sharpie?

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2Pack

Ciao tutti. Pre run coffee is good this morning. Supposed to be a rainy day which we could use. And it’s been so hot for so long, if it rains on me during the run… I’ll take it.

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WCS

“Baseball wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.”
“Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.”
“Man who fart in church sit in own pew.”

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Gumbygirl

Wow, hard-hitting journalism- Harbaugh likes milk. Can you imagine? Sometimes he even drinks 2%, if there’s no chocolate.

3
WCS

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, crazy guy. That’s way too much.”

— Joe F., current ELITE parts unk

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Love that “parts unknown” equals “Cincinnati” at the moment

4
Horatio Cornblower

Mrs. Horatio: (showing me a horribly scratched up leg). “I don’t know why the bugs bit this leg and didn’t do anything to the other leg!”

Me: (squinting). “probably because that’s poison ivy”

Last edited 14 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
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Doktor Zymm

Isn’t that kinda ‘The Twist’?

1
Redshirt

Mendoza’s playing like he walked through the Las Vegas Strip and got overstimulated.

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blaxabbath

I’ve never made carnitas with lard.

Until tonight.

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ArmedandHammered

Do you ship?

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blaxabbath

Why not? We got diesel!!!!

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Horatio Cornblower

I just need the carnitas, got my own lard.

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Doktor Zymm

Okay, only took 40 minutes and 2 computer restarts to get it working again!

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ArmedandHammered

Do you have a virus counter set up?

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Doktor Zymm

It’s not a virus or anything, it’s trying to run Windows 11 on a laptop with 8GB of RAM and a single-core CPU combined with forgetting to update the NFL app on the emulator.

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litre_cola

Plus the volcano lair has hat shit reception lately, I blame Elon.

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Doktor Zymm

Always safe to blame Elon

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ArmedandHammered

You should try a flavor of Linux, I have not missed windows at all for gaming or productivity.

1
ArmedandHammered

My machines are running so much faster, the surface I converted is so much faster than it was.

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Doktor Zymm

The only reason I haven’t is for Civ, also because I’m lazy.

0
ArmedandHammered

Even if you run through steam?

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Doktor Zymm

Steam doesn’t make me less lazy!

0
litre_cola

-Thomas the Tank Engine

5
Bogdanski

The invective demanding engines be useful at all times is propaganda for the ruling class! Sir Tophamm Hatt can no longer be trusted with the means of production! Or, at least, the moving of things that have been produced.

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ArmedandHammered

True, but not having to deal with MS bullshit appeals to my laziness.

0
herodotus450

His creditors will never suspect that Woody Marks is in fact Adrian Peterson in disguise!
/will continue making this joke every year

4
Gatoraids

real switch hitter

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just finished watching this morning’s St. Kilda / Gold Coast match, AMA.

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ballsofsteelandfury

What took you so long?

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I had shit to do!

(Went and saw the Odyssey on IMAX in the middle of the day)

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Gatoraids

FRAUDOZAAAAAAAAAAAA

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ArmedandHammered

He has fallen below the Mendoza line.

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Gatoraids

he forgot where it was after Mark Davis and tonight girlfriend snorted it

2
ArmedandHammered

This “Adults” show on FXX looks absoslutely horrible.

1
Gatoraids

Marksdozaaaaaaaaaa

Last edited 16 hours ago by Gatoraids
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Redshirt

Another day, another media post trying to manifest a Burrow trade.

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ArmedandHammered

Burrow’s agent has to justify his cut somehow…

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Doktor Zymm

Time to see how well my sketchy emulator works when I haven’t used it for over half a year!

1
ArmedandHammered

Are they pinning Joe’s ears back? He is starting to look like someone trying to LARP as an elf.

0
ArmedandHammered

I wonder if Mendoza can corss the Mendoza Line?

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Time for the Lake Show.
Game 2 of the finals. Already down a game and prob losing again tonight as the other team went 17- 1 in the regular season.
But Go Lakers Go

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Redshirt

Strange New Worlds is still better than anything Discovery or Starfleet Academy did.

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Last edited 17 hours ago by Redshirt
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ArmedandHammered

Evening Bitchachos!

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Redshirt

JV Crime Beat Update. Whatever happened to keying someone’s car or sleeping with their female relative?

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ArmedandHammered

The next evolution is to combine MMA and NFL into the same bloodsport.

0
Gatoraids

the Cleveland way
-Delonte West

0
WCS

“I feel that.”

Geno S., NYC

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sweating like two pigs fucking or just two pigs?

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Starting a rewatch of Ludwig.

Seems like a better use of my time than watching preseason football.

2
ArmedandHammered

Didn’t the new season drop today?

0
ArmedandHammered

Or that may have only been in the UK.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

I’m rewatching season 1 in preparation for season 2

1
ArmedandHammered

My wife is going to be very happy that there is a season 2.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Premieres today in England on the BBC.

In October in the US on Britbox.

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ArmedandHammered

May have to invest in a VPN so the wife can be ahead of her friends.

1
Redshirt

(opens TV Tropes to see if it strikes my fancy)

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ArmedandHammered

Well, we’re waiting…..

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Redshirt

Might check it out over the weekend

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Redshirt

That 9th Inning was drunk.

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