[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

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JV NFL 30 December Afternoon Offerings

King Hippo

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What wagers can I get horribly wrong today??

Gator Bowl – Louisville v. Mississippi State (Noon, ESPN)

Such a shame that Dan Mullen won’t be around for this, as would make for a great coaching matchup.  Ville have been disappointing all season long, though, and I don’t see any reason why that should stop today.

Liberty Bowl – Iowa State v. Memphis (12:30, ABC)

I guess Memphis is favoured because…de facto home game?  Iowa State beat Oklahoma on the road, what exactly is the Tiggers’ claim to fame, other than another Paxton Lynch clone at QB?

Fiesta Bowl – Washington v. Paedo State (4:00, ESPN)

Surprisingly (to me), the B1G is doing very, very well in exhibition play, and the PAC 12+ is falling on they faces.  I…wouldn’t expect this to be the matchup that changes that narrative, as much as I would like that outcome.

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Your “Imma Need To Be Drunk For This One” Saturday Evening Open Thread – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] Bowl Games all day.  The lovely and talented King Hippo  already has you covered on today’s earlier games here. […]

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herodotus450

I’m sure you’re all wondering why I gathered you here. It is to field proposals on JUST HOW an expanded playoff system would work fo college. Where do you play the games? And when? There are no wrong ideas in brainstorming, but if your idea stinks you’ll be ejected from the plane that this super villan boardroom is located in.

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herodotus450

Speaking of the vomit in my mouth that was that last play, have there been any truly Boise St-esque levels of insanity this bowl season? I haven’t seen any.

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King Hippo

some serious dumbfuckery down the stretch

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Senor Weaselo

Hook and lateralception! Where he could’ve just gone out of bounds!

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King Hippo

the fuck didn’t he just go out of bounds at the 40? DUMBASS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I humbly disagree.
Best play in evar.

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herodotus450

And it looks like he was trying to throw it to an offensive lineman, in the middle of the field. Definitely a game winning throw if it connects.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

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theeWeeBabySeamus

m’Kay. That was….interesting.

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rockingdog

I suspect they didn’t practice that.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow UDub QB. Just wow.
I want you to fuck up and even I feel bad for you at this point.

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rockingdog

UW has like 2 plays….3 tops.

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King Hippo

Dumb QB needs to take a fucking chance

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King Hippo

FROM THE HASH, too? Of course he fucking missed.

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rockingdog

hahahahaha

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Senor Weaselo

So, can I call the FG return?

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rockingdog

sure!

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King Hippo

this may sound cray-cray…but I’d punt

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Doesn’t sound cray cray, but at this point I’d kick the FG if I had a kicker.

Aaaaannnnnd….nope, they don’t. Shit.

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King Hippo

it sounds like they kicking sitch is….almost wolven

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theeWeeBabySeamus

great googly moogly

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Senor Weaselo

I don’t see why Washington doesn’t call the time-out anyway. If you hold them and get it back I’d rather have 1:15 and 2 TOs than :35 and all three.

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Senor Weaselo

The answer is because they already did and they can’t light up the TOs well enough, THANKS ESPN.

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King Hippo

They got some clock shenanigans there, cost UW like 8 seconds

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Short.
Go for it, plz.
Tick tock.

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King Hippo

this close, I would NOT kick. Definitely 4-down territory.

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JustStopDude

comment image

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Any other human being and I’d be tempted to ask if that’s real.

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rockingdog

is president pumkin spice trying to make a point?

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rockingdog

penn st has got this.

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King Hippo

best case, he misses the FG and UW has maybe 45-50 seconds to work with

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King Hippo

best throw he made today

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I liked it a lot.

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King Hippo

oopsie doodle, now they need 2

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King Hippo

one first down from here does it

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theeWeeBabySeamus

But sure, go out of bounds. Why da fuq not?

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Horatio Cornblower

The rarely seen prevent offense!

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Horatio Cornblower

Which they have now fixed.

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Senor Weaselo

Rockingdog reminded me of this, have we gotten a Wildcats vs. Wildcats Bowl Edition yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XItRcMuraCI

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King Hippo

yup, NW v. KY

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King Hippo

Washington – MUCH BETTER CHEERLEADERS. Please show them MOAR

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King Hippo

and now HOLY MERDE it’s within 7!!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

*ahem*

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King Hippo

I will pull for a TD for you, a FG suits my needs as I got in @ -2.5

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rockingdog

cool! out of the WildCat formation!

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rockingdog

here we go!

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King Hippo

Paedo State does seem legitimately good, though. They’re tossing UW around like rag dolls.

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herodotus450

Ahh the old bowl game breakdown by conference record. Pointless and meaningless when it doesn’t suit you, and the most important thing and OH MY GOD MY CONFERENCE IS SO DISRESPECTED when it does suit you.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck my conference.
My team won.
/drops mic

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King Hippo

all very matchup-dependent, too. The ACC often piles up good records, because our #2 team plays SEC #7, etc.

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Horatio Cornblower

A record today for Penn State for most offense in a bowl game.

Their record for most offenses off the field, however, remains unlikely to be challenged any time soon.

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Senor Weaselo

Clever sponsorship ideas: If not Tostitos, Taco Bell, Chipotle, Del Taco, etc., why hasn’t Ford sponsored the Fiesta Bowl? That thing’ll assault beaches!
https://vimeo.com/2636777

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rockingdog

Yea dude. It is still weird to me that playstation sponsors the fiesta bowl….

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That dude’s gotta be Samoan…right?

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Horatio Cornblower

Could be Tongan…

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King Hippo

OMFG, ask him if he knows Ricky Logo

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Now that’s a blast from the past.
Nice.

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Unsurprised

This was a great joke. I forgot to credit BFC for it, though. I’ll fix that.

comment image

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I think he credited himself already.

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Horatio Cornblower

The Browns are going to draft Barkley #1 and he is going to tear both ACLs getting off the escalator at his introductory press conference.

comment image

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King Hippo

#ThePauls

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King Hippo

SUDDEN CHANGE

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Change back plz, k thx.

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King Hippo

worry not, The Paedos have this well in hand

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Backdoor cover tho.
I went in at -3 tho, so UDub would need two 6’s.

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King Hippo

they would have to miss an extra point, then go for 2 and miss. Otherwise, it’s just a Hail Mary shot at getting to OT. The back door is sealed shut.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Still, I’m left hoping for PSU to score again just to be sure they really can’t screw the pooch.

I hate rooting for those assholes. I shoulda thought of that before tho I suppose.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Generous spot.
Thank you.

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Senor Weaselo

Remember when the Geico Gecko was miffed about being confused with the car insurance company? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

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King Hippo

he’s all chill now that he gets that #FamePoon ,, smgdh

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Unsurprised

The one with the lady from Mad Men?

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King Hippo

UW looks like an ACC side out there

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theeWeeBabySeamus

One from West Rawlee comes to mind.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit. Like I said….

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King Hippo

nah, we have a pass rush at least

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hippo win on teh over.
Nicely played my friend.

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King Hippo

Johnny come latelys (PHRASING!!) at 55.5 even gets paid

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup, shoulda gone that route to hedge fo’ sho’.

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herodotus450

Is the arm waving thing the new “cereal bowl feed me” gesture? If so, I say bring it on. I’ll just be moving my mouth like this and we’ll see who wins
comment image

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Unsurprised

Hopefully you get a better result than Homer does immediately after this gif ends.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve decided to stay far far away from Wiscy/daU tonight re: betting.
My inclination would be to take Wiscy ATS if the spread was slightly smaller. But nope, -6.5 is too big for that one. And moneyline is useless too.

I’ll take my ill gotten wins today (don’t fuck me Penn State…hehehe, get it?) and roll it onto something tomorrow.

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King Hippo

boomeranged all the way back to where I got in! Could have had 4.5 yesterday morn

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That I’d have considered.
But truth is, I don’t trust either of those sides.

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Spur

the huskie corners blow

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King Hippo

Paedo WRs are really good, too. That combo = fait accompli

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Unsurprised

It figures that Paedo State excels at recruiting receivers.

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King Hippo

sometimes they just convert tight ends

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Fronkenshteen

All fucked up at the local Mexican restaurant. HOW’s HIPPO’s ACTIOn?!?!1!?

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King Hippo

I am KILLING IT today. ML Cowbells, ML plus ATS Iowa State, over and Paedos -2.5 in this’un. MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!

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Fronkenshteen

YOU ARE MY CAPTAIN FUCKING AMERICA!!!

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herodotus450

Just as confusing as evar: Moneyline? Over? +100? Offshore bank account?

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King Hippo

moneyline = betting an underdog to win outright (+215 on MSU) – meaning my $100 bet made $215 in profit. I am of the (observation based on my math-inclined brain) that’s how you make money, especially JV betting.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Oh man, I’m glad I don’t gamble then. I always want the underdog to win, and would bet thusly, and would shortly look like this guy, except fatter.comment image

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King Hippo

Think of it this way – if you can accurately identify 50/50 upset games (and JV does involve lots of psychology) long-term, and are getting like 2:1 payout on same…

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ll just live vicariously through your victories here.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I live vicariously thru his wins too.
Mostly because I usually lose a lot.

Today has been kind to tWBS.

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Spur

Good doggies!

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King Hippo

We can has game??

/also 5 points from over bet cashing

//fuck James Franklin with a rusty AIDS-coated dildo

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Spur

The Aussies did us a solid. Too bad we need to wait till 2019 for any action
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/30/us/politics/how-fbi-russia-investigation-began-george-papadopoulos.html

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I was reading through the comments over on this week’s non-Magary Magary NFL column, and somebody made a comment that was very disrespectful of this site. What the fuck, man? This site is cool with me…

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I bet I can guess who it was.
If I’m right….don’t worry about it.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Actually, the commenter accused Will Leitch of being Unsurprised here at DFO. I’m unfamiliar with the history, assume at some point in the past there was a schism of some kind. There’s always some bitterness

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King Hippo

oh that’s deffo S*ll B*mm*ns, and he’s TOTES SCHIZO. Do not engage in any way. Not joking about the schizo thing, BTW.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I rarely comment over there, but will keep your advice in mind. I went back and looked, and the commenter was named D*ct*r B*ll, but I imagine that means nothing with all the burner accounts and whatnot over there.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey ohhhhh!!!!!

As Hippo said, best to just not engage him.

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Senor Weaselo

…They gave Lavar Ball an honorary doctorate?

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litre_cola

Just walk away slowly. Nothing to see there.

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King Hippo

yep, that his Twitter handle. 100% the same dude

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Unsurprised

Leitch wishes he were me.

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King Hippo

they don’t like that we have the edge Dedspin used to have.

/also see what tWBS said below

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Spur

the sponsor logo is way too big. it shouldn’t be larger than the Bowl name.

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King Hippo

Marxist

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