Your “Found On Road Dead” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Noise:

  • The NFL and NFL Players Association are discussing the possibility of playing only two preseason games this year – one home; one road.
    • The idea is that they would be “dry runs” for the regular season.
      • Also for stadium staff, vendors and team hotels & transportation.
  • This comes on the heels of reports about how much cities could lose by not hosting their usual volume of sporting events. The basis for this are reports from college towns.
    • The mayor of Tuscaloosa, AL said that no ‘Bama games could cost the town $2.0 billion in lost revenue.
      • Assuming that includes food & lodging, plus fees & parking fines.
    • According to statistics from the University of Alabama, home games during the 2015-16 season brought in an estimated $175.5 million, or $25.1 million per game for the state.
  • Martha Firestone Ford is stepping down as Principal Owner & Chair of the Detroit Lions.
    • She is being replaced by her daughter Sheila Ford Hamp.
      • Who has recently represented the Lions on the NFL’s Super Bowl and Major Events advisory committees last year in her mother’s stead.
    • The Fords have owned the Lions since 1963.

Surprising news out of Hollywood today, which may have influence over whether [DFO] attends the 2021 AVN Awards:

Jeremy, 63 years old, was taken into custody. His bail is apparently $6.6 million. If convicted, and sentenced consecutively, he would be looking at up to 90 years in jail.

Rolling Stone has an inventory of allegations dating to 2017 if you feel like reading it.


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • WWE Royal Rumble 2008 – 7:00 PM | FS1
    • The once-a-year Royal Rumble Match features 30 Superstars battling for shot to become a World Champion. Jeff Hardy squares off against Randy Orton for the WWE Championship. Rey Mysterio takes on Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship.
  • Top Rank Boxing on ESPN: A. Moloney-Franco (super flyweights) – 8:00PM | TSN / ESPN
    • Andrew Moloney (21-0, 14 KOs) vs. Joshua Franco (16-1-2, 8 KOs) in a super-flyweight title bout in Las Vegas.
  • Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel – 10:00PM | HBO
    • Bryant Gumbel conducts a series of interviews with players, coaches, executives and beyond to discuss COVID-19 and systemic racial injustice in the world of sports.
    • Plus, an update from Robbie Tolan, a former MLB prospect who in 2009 was racially profiled and shot by a police officer at his family’s home in the affluent neighborhood of Bellaire, Texas.

There’s likely scripted TV, but I don’t care. Enjoy your night.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

“Yeah, I need a picture of the guys from Steely Dan where one of them is from America’s Test Kitchen and the other one has been interrupted from a phone call where he was trading Russian teenagers for diamonds.”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

And here come the fucking fireworks again…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC

Or some good Choclotaes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HA! Nice. The Brits go all opposite Lady G.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Propane.

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ALXMAC
Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, I would have guessed that the number of people still left alive that knew who Dr Hook and Medicine Show would number in two digits, world wide. Thanks for posting this. And fuck Sylvia’s Mother. I hate that mean bitch.

ALXMAC
yeah right

I mentioned this in the clubhouse but one of the guys in our building was called while he was at work today to be informed that his wife tested positive for the virus.

It’s a big building but only about 15 people have been working.

He said his wife had “had a cold for a week or so” but he kept coming to work.

The very first rule of the coronavirus protocol says if you or a family member exhibit cold or flu like symptoms you need to stay at home until you are free of symptoms for 14 days.

He fucked this protocol all to Hell and gone.

My shop is pretty secure but what the ever loving fuck man?

If he tests positive they may shut our building down for two weeks. I would have to go on lock down despite my doing everything right.

Shit got in the building.

Dunstan

People are stupid.

I make some allowances for the fact that we’ve trained employees for — well, forever — to “tough it out” and come to work no matter what, but fuck, that has to change now.

yeah right

It’s just selfish and ignorant goddammit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We are fortunate because people can work from home. The policy is a temperature check when you arrive and when you leave. Masks in the office and distance. We have enough people working from home that the distance in there is a long ways away.

yeah right

I can secure my shop and it is fairly secure but the possibility for contamination does exist. Shit man I fill up my water bottle in the warehouse but I’m wearing my mask and gloves and I use so much hand sanitizer you could strike a match on my goddamn hands.

The good news is if I have to self quarantine I can safely do so.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you guys doing a temp. check? That was about the only way we could turn people away, but nobody has had it yet.

Viva La Tabula Raza

We were informed on Friday morning that our bldg (450K sq ft, 8 separate bays, 1/4 mile long) had some positive hits. We have been told to stay home until at least tomorrow while they decon the bldg. No problem, I was in for 4 days back in March after my surgery convalescence, then sent home and haven’t been back since.
Funny thing is one of the agencies in our bldg that had staff members that were hit by infections is the AF Medical Operations Agency (AFMOA). Whoops.

Senor Weaselo

“Baseball is coming back!”
“That’s good!”
“They’re putting a runner on 2nd in extra innings”
https://tv.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/b203653c-4b91-4300-be08-687bf579e75c

Unsurprised

Bowman’s win in NY is genuinely heartening. This will last about three more seconds.

SonOfSpam

Don’t know much about Bowman, but boy howdy did Engel ever step on his own dick.

Redshirt

Looks like Stroud’s might be gone from Uproxx. A Virtual Wake has broken out in the last wrestling post.

ALXMAC
Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

Could be Trump.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Three wives….. or are you saying…..

Viva La Tabula Raza

SHOULD be Trump.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Thunder Road (2018)
Comedy/Drama – don’t let the trailer fool you; this is an outstanding movie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTjYRFZOf4I

ALXMAC

9/10 on the ALXMAC movie scale

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The alien was defeated in fifteen minutes in the porn parody.

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ALXMAC

CANT IMPREGNATE THAT WAY!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was the point of the porn parody.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I saw Seger in Austin in 1980 when he was touring behind Against the Wind album. Very disappointed that he didn’t play Turn the Page. Same feeling around 10 years later when I saw Rod Stewart, in the same venue, not perform Every Picture Tells a Story, his greatest evah song. He was ready for fucking Vegas even in 1989. Fucker.

ALXMAC

Not a Rod Stewart fan but I get that you wanted to hear “yer” song at a concert and was disappointed that it didn’t happen. Cheers!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Me neither much, but my gf at the time won the tix on the radio station. I did like me some pre-disco-era Rod Stewart/Faces stuff though. Gasoline Alley is a cool tune too.

SonOfSpam

Seger was my first concert. January 1987. Like a Rock tour (did you know they used that song in car ads???)

Dunstan

Saw Seger three times late in his career, and never a disappointment. One of them may have been the best concert I saw.

Gumbygirl

I saw him in 76? 77? I was in high school. At the Johnstown War Memorial Coliseum, where they filmed Slapshot! Sweet opened for him. Sweet got booed off the stage. Nobody in Jtown had time for that Ballroom Blitz bullshit. I ran into Gumby there, he was tripping, he stuck his hand out for me to shake and babbled some crazy talk. He had blood on his tshirt and a stolen camera hanging around his neck. Reader, I married him!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Viva La Tabula Raza

San Antonio boy!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Viva La Tabula Raza

Ooohh, found something new (to me) about one of my favorite people on the planet!!! See y’all tomorrow! (Well, I might pop or swarm by after I’m finished with this:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFdPfl21GfQ

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Viva La Tabula Raza

I posted the original Dylan version of this the other night. Heard this version today. Will now share.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arfxhWM-sFM

Viva La Tabula Raza

Cleanse the palate. Another Dylan tune for a follow on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7mcG5xEFSo

herodotus450

UPS says my package will be delayed until tomorrow; what am I, Andrew Jackson at the Battle of New Orleans!?

Brick Meathook

That’s because you don’t pray enough to the right God.

scotchnaut

[strongly disagrees with above statement]

-Left God

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[attempts to tear down statue of herodotus450]

Viva La Tabula Raza

GWB at Jackson Square post-Katrina?

Brick Meathook

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scotchnaut

Worst. Bookshelf. Ever.

Redshirt

https://www.cbssports.com/nascar/news/fbi-determines-no-federal-crime-was-committed-against-bubba-wallace-while-investigating-noose-in-his/

This story went from Inspirationally Hopeful (with all of NASCAR standing by the driver) to Incredibly Stupid so fast, I think it gave me whiplash. Its not a racist threat; its just someone that doesn’t know to make a bowline knot but knows how to make a hangman’s knot?!

Dunstan

*I* was saying Boo-urns!

scotchnaut

Look, who among us has not lost/misplaced our ‘lucky noose’ at some point during the course of our day? It happened to me just a few days ago!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, the gas oven I gifted…… never mind.

scotchnaut

“Don’t you mean ‘re-gifted’? I can’t believe you passed on to someone else my heartfelt offering!”

-H. Kori

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The pie left no run-overs, my fren.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Actually, having seen hangman’s nooses on Venetian blind pulls and roll up garage door pull ups etc for most of my life, I can just about buy this. I love that the competitors and their crews pushed his car to the front of the pack before the start.

Mr. Ayo

This was for his garage door. Apparently was there since at least last year.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It honestly sounds like the perfect confluence of circumstances to create an honest mistake.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah. Everyone’s on a hair trigger these days to immediately start clutching pearls at any perceived slight or offense. Which is not probably the optimum reaction in every single instance.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

To be fair, thinking that someone hung a noose in the garage of NASCAR’s only black driver at a time when the Confederate flag is on its way out is not really a case of someone jumping at ghosts. There are very real reasons to genuinely believe that something like that would happen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yep.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Dumbass should have chosen paper or rock. It’s his own fault.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Everything is fine.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That guy throwing the molotov cocktail must have quite an arm. Barely any arc to that thing at all.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He can through on the run from any angle accurately. He makes good decisions and reads defenses presnap with great acumen. Largely injury free, but can play with pain…….oh shit, I drifted off there for a second.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[“Trubisky House Burned]

[Wrong number was repeatedly called in attempt to communicate with fire department.]

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is that from Children of Men?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Although it looks more like teenagers of men, you are correct.

Redshirt

DC Universe finally put Superman: Red Son on the streaming service. It was a good movie and a nice twist on the Superman genre. Also it was better than the story, though some things were a bit rushed. Plus, it had Amy Acker in it and anything with Amy Acker gets my seal of approval.

Brick Meathook

“Charging Ron Jeremy with rape around here was like handing out speeding tickets at the Indy 500”

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Brick Meathook

Also, Ron Jeremy is only 63? I thought he was, like, 80 or something.

Dunstan

His penis is 80. It’s like, relativity physics or something.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s probably got 80,000 miles on it, anyway. Unfortunately, they were probably a lot of back and forth short trip rather than highway miles.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Welp, the U.S. registered its 3rd-highest number of new coronavirus cases ever in the last 24 hours. Gonna head out to Vons on Friday and get enough food to last for the next three months or so.

ballsofsteelandfury

I honestly think it’s because testing is more prevalent. I’m sure we hit these types of numbers in March but no one knew.

Gumbygirl

Partly that, but mostly I suspect it’s maskless idiots out mouth breathing on each other.

Unsurprised

On purpose.

Dying to own the libs.

ArmedandHammered

Whelp, if that is the case they can continue to do so. The more that die the less that vote for Trump, I just hate the innocent who they may spread the disease to.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[points at ArmedandHammered]

“Hey! This guy here hates the innocent!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And the taxing of the already broken healthcare system. The fatality per Trumpetier is not high enough.

Viva La Tabula Raza

This was originally intended to spoof the rock music industry, but I guess it suits here as well, since some might consider Trump a rockstar.
I think it was Bowie that said that, in effect, Hitler was the first rockstar.comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s only a small part of it. I’m trying to find the article now. March was the on-ramp.

Most of the increase is diagnosis and hospital admissions.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I with that were true, but I don’t believe that it is. Deaths are starting to rise, too. I was hoping that the increased numbers are due to finding more mild cases, but I’m starting to think it’s just because we’re finding those cases earlier, because symptoms don’t have to get severe before people confirm it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There are a bunch of articles stating such with experts as the sources, but right now I am struggling to fucking find them.

litre_cola

You cand find a chimpanzee serving ice cream while surfing but are struggling on this one?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have no trouble finding memes and one where a Trump supporter/ conspiracy QANON dude has the COVID-19 an engineered virus to derail Trump’s reelection.

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So yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just fucking reading a great article yesterday. WFT?

ballsofsteelandfury

I only look at LA County data because that’s where I am and that’s what I give a shit about.

The deaths have been pretty consistent. Today’s number was 34 and far below previous peaks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want you to be right and me to be wrong.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But he isn’t. They are getting better at treatment which is reducing deaths.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Since you do not care about what is outside your little bubble it is not worth the effort, but blaming a 29 state spike of hospital adimissions on marginally better testing is just a dumbass statement.

ballsofsteelandfury

We weren’t talking about hospital admissions. We were talking cases, which have more to do with testing than anything.

Deaths and hospital admissions are different statistics with different factors at play.

My bubble has 15 million people and it’s the epicenter for California. It’s also got the most restrictions out of any state and is a guide for what can happen if restrictions are followed. That’s why it’s more important than statistics from states with no restrictions.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hospital admissions are where they are getting most of the data for cases. They are testing at only a slightly higher rate. Restriction only work if people follow them.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

Doesn’t this graph kinda support what I’m saying about increased testing?
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Testing is part of it as I agreed, but saying the spikes in cases are solely due to increased testing is wrong. The cases are increasing far more than random testing. Included in the number is testing when people show symptoms, when they are admitted to a hospital, and additional random testing as you say. It’s not the chicken first necessarily.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

While I can’t find data (is it tracked?); rich people get tested multiple times. Pro athletes can get tested as much as once a day. While not a huge factor I believe it is part of the total test numbers and is maybe more of an indictment than skewing the numbers, it is still fucked.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If you are interested go to Total COVID-19 tests for each confirmed case it gives a great indicator of the countries that controlled it and damage to the economy in a lot of places. Move the bar to show how they ramped up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There are plenty of countries with great data that actually used restrictions. They handled it. The US (including Southern California) did not.

ballsofsteelandfury

Pockets of the US did. Others did not. Hawaii is a great success story.

Up until the demonstrations, people in Southern California obeyed the restrictions very well. With a similar population to New York, the statistics for SoCal are far better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not really compared to other countries. But agreed they did better than other places being the tallest man on Pygmy Island. On the other hand they probably did they best they could in this country at the point it is.

Brick Meathook

Los Angeles County’s population is larger than that of 41 individual U.S. states, as well as the combined population of the 10 least populous states.

That’s our little bubble.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thank you so much for the lesson, professor.

Brick Meathook

You’re welcome!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are great at telling people what everybody already knows. I’m sure it is a great service to mankind.

Brick Meathook

Thanks, Moose!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No problem! I had to join you in the congratulations!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I only look at LA County data because that’s where I am and that’s what I give a shit about.

Yeah, it’s big bubble. And that’s still what you said.

ballsofsteelandfury

You give a shit about Tulsa, Oklahoma?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is there a Ralph’s around here?comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I hope so.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

When you need some cash, you need some cash.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Well, he did say he didn’t have health insurance…

Dunstan

American health care at its finest.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think that is Europe somewhere, but your point is excellent. If it is Europe he may just be getting money for a pint and a snack.

Viva La Tabula Raza

If it were Japan, that would be a Suntory Whiskey and used panties vending machine that they were stopping at.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pretty obvious the one guy wants to be in Japan.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Stay safe out there, people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

found a funny:

Nothing gives me a bigger rush than volunteering my personal data to find out what type of muffin I am

Gumbygirl

I’m not sure what kind of muffin I am, but today I found out that I am a delicious tropical smoothie. My proudest moment was when the sorting hat put my devious ass directly into Slytherin!

Downfield Matriculator

So the Lions have upgraded from Found On Road Dead to Fix Or Repair Daily?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Guess that’s better than Fucked-up Old Rebuilt Dodge.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Damn, didn’t Ron Jeremy get enough mogambo during his film career? His dick must look like a dried prune by now. Talk about satyriasis.

What’s the o/u on how many members of the College Republicans in attendance at tonight’s Spreadysburg Address in AZ aren’t able to attend classes when ASU and UA finally reopen?

ballsofsteelandfury

From what I read, these allegations have been around for a while and previous DAs declined to press charges.

The current DA is losing endorsements left and right on her reelection campaign due to her support of police (read: not pressing charges against officers) in cases of police abuse.

Forget it, Jake, it’s Chinatown.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, kinda like the 15 or 20-odd allegations of sexual misconduct against Hair Fuhrer?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

This year’s October Surprise is gonna be a tape of Trump receiving.

Redshirt

In our defense, the show did make Communism and oppression look cute.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MCGPKpHHSk

Redshirt

Ron Jeremy can’t be the only alleged/suspected sexual predator in pornography. There are some that when they “perform”, you can tell they’re not just acting in an aggressive role or even in a dominate role, even in normal, non-fetish shoots. Its almost uncomfortable, like if it was happening in a club a Dungeon Monitor would say “take it easy or take a hike”.

…or so I’ve heard, or read somewhere… for science…(mumbles off)

ballsofsteelandfury

King Hippo’s safe word is “O/U”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

If that’s the case, than I should be way more popular with the ladies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOXioAKFamo&t=22s

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You use the very same technique with every pick; you need to shake it up and diversify.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ron Jeremy can’t be the only alleged/suspected sexual predator in pornography.

Pretty sure no one said or that anybody that is not the recipient of a traumatic invasive brain injury would say or pretend to be true.

Redshirt

Well I was dropped on my head as a baby. Twice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The porn industry has always been the place where predictors congregate. Much worse when it was more stigmatized so that there was no recourse for victims of any sort.

I mean the shit was prevalent on cooking shows and restaurants, let alone porn.

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ArmedandHammered

The look on his face is really disturbing, like he is daydreaming about doing that to the person taking the picture.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So no gold coins in the chicken.

nomonkeyfun

That explains the Bengals thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered

The good styrofoam, not those thin paper plates like theys has at Martha Beth’s house.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I thought you were going to accuse me of being a show off, rich asshole.

ArmedandHammered

Only if you showed the ones divided into sections. To not let you food intermingle shows what a classist snob you are.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, yes, but while they are more structurally sound I find that they inhibit the mounding technique that I prefer for BBQ activity.