I don’t watch my local news too much because it’s from a god-awful 75K-strong ‘city’ two hours away. I was watching today though and was reminded that one of the news broadcasters was a nationally (somewhat) significant sports guy just a few years ago. He’s been reporting stories about Aunt Granny’s bake sale that raised $234 for diabetic wolves for a while now. Why? Why is he where he is? Did he fall in love with a small city girl? Did he tire of the Bright Lights of Toronto? Or more likely (in my mind) what god-awful inner-demon manifested itself at his former job that caused him to run away to nowhere and ply his trade for a mere pittance of what he was pulling in before? I need to know…
Det @ NO: If the Lions lose they’ll jump from 7th in next year’s draft all the way to 5th. With a loss the Saints could go from 8th to 7th. This is where we are in Wk. 15 on a Monday Nighter in December in the NFL, people. Let’s pretend that both teams lose-it feels like the right thing to me. [looks at several 2016 mock drafts] Wow. There are a ton of dickbags with too much time on their hands!* I feel dizzy. Okay, as near as I can figure the Saints have to go D and there are 3 LB’s squished into the top 8 so…Myles Jack from UCLA? Okay, now the Lions. Hmmm…their secondary has been a complete mess for a few years now…how about CB Jalen Ramsey from Florida State? Now let’s tune into the game and see which team doesn’t want it more.
*I’m guilty of this charge
Several years back, a local news anchor–a likeable guy who seemed to be at least a little more intelligent than a teleprompter–disappeared. The wife & I noticed, and wondered what happened to him. We googled, and it turned out he had become a weekend morning show anchor at a small southern station (Birmingham, AL, maybe? Or maybe Jackson, MS). We couldn’t figure out why he’d move from a prominent position in a decent-sized market to a second-rate job in a small market. A little more googling found a reference to a sick parent that he was going to take care of. So there’s always that; sometimes people have their priorities, and a TV career comes second.
It is interesting that people who don’t know fucking shit about someone else are so ready to condemn them for any action that on the surface does not make sense to them. In this case why can’t one just want to simplify their life or honor a commitment that may involve less money.
I’m a dickbag with too much time on my hands-what the fuck else was I supposed to think?
I was even thinking about what you wrote when typing…. BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT!
If you aren’t feeling super well, clearly the best thing to do is to go out, have raw oysters, mussels, fried pickles, and a variety of mixed drinks containing gin, bourbon, peach brandy, misc sticky stuff, and a couple glasses of wine, both red and sparkling. CLEARLY.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/1d366438aeea4b0cee233b684c2b447e/tumblr_mjvlvqahrH1qhbarso1_1280.jpg
They set the record.
I’m watching the Sexual Harassment Panda episode. Yup.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/ae6ac156bb610867c0eec7490c418cab/tumblr_mnplg77ozE1r55jsko4_250.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/a6a1e58ccce707990820fff37a34632c/tumblr_mv0we9TiQm1qgavwyo1_500.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/ab8cd759c021902cf0984a79266424bb/tumblr_mv0we9TiQm1qgavwyo2_500.gif
http://45.media.tumblr.com/101fc3e5e0d42e820ca91e80a48288e3/tumblr_mv0we9TiQm1qgavwyo3_500.gif
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFLLLLAAAAAAAAAAC!!
BOOM! DEMI AND HER NEW (at the time) FAKE TITS!
I SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
http://49.media.tumblr.com/8cd0c63351a41821e5cc073ee2a35745/tumblr_nrzug8nMLO1u08gzyo3_400.gif
I will now attempt to make up for that with Spaceboy Emerging From Truck.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/0ccfddb7ca298efbc29fe193eb6c0daf/tumblr_nrwxjeSrTG1sn9lzco1_1280.jpg
BOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!
http://36.media.tumblr.com/952bfb62d2d4a2ab822a4c6e321ee877/tumblr_ns5xagk0RO1r3rap4o1_1280.jpg
Hey man, I copied the beers to the beer barrel post and added one.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/a0e0e6ed80d0c761cde8041713b3f376/tumblr_nakesdskG21s01qkyo1_500.gif
I’m starting a fantasy team where we draft commentators and get three points every time one of them says “bro”
Points-Per-Sanctimonious Rant.
Do you get points for insightful comments or the usual dredge?
In theory, you get points for insightful comments, but in practice no one will ever get any of those.
Just like in Fantasy KSK Kommenter.
The cosplay for this will be HORRIBLE.
Points every time someone mentions Manning or Brady’s “grit” or “determination”.
I’m taking Collinsworth with my first round pick.
That pick is brimming with football intelligence; you are a lunch-pale guy. First in the draft room, last to leave the draft room.
Tom Coughlin would have said something to Beckham, but it was creamed corn night at the home.
And then a Matlock marathon on the Hallmark Channel.
“Gotta protect your manhood.” -Ray Lewis brand jockstraps
“Yeah, and if someone stabbed someone else before throwing a white suit in a dumpster, we need to ask what provoked that stabbing.”
Here’s Ray Lewis to talk about why it’s bad that Odell Beckham lost his temper and murdered a guy.
Figures my fantasy team explodes for nearly 200 points after I’ve been eliminated.
That’s how it works!
/checks Sill’s insanity league
//notes team still sucks
///returns to digging crumbs out of fig newton box
I’ll be damned.
Well that was anti-climactic.
Everyone involved in that game should feel bad about it.
Dawww, horsefeathers!
That was an… interesting call.