I don’t watch my local news too much because it’s from a god-awful 75K-strong ‘city’ two hours away. I was watching today though and was reminded that one of the news broadcasters was a nationally (somewhat) significant sports guy just a few years ago. He’s been reporting stories about Aunt Granny’s bake sale that raised $234 for diabetic wolves for a while now. Why? Why is he where he is? Did he fall in love with a small city girl? Did he tire of the Bright Lights of Toronto? Or more likely (in my mind) what god-awful inner-demon manifested itself at his former job that caused him to run away to nowhere and ply his trade for a mere pittance of what he was pulling in before? I need to know…
Det @ NO: If the Lions lose they’ll jump from 7th in next year’s draft all the way to 5th. With a loss the Saints could go from 8th to 7th. This is where we are in Wk. 15 on a Monday Nighter in December in the NFL, people. Let’s pretend that both teams lose-it feels like the right thing to me. [looks at several 2016 mock drafts] Wow. There are a ton of dickbags with too much time on their hands!* I feel dizzy. Okay, as near as I can figure the Saints have to go D and there are 3 LB’s squished into the top 8 so…Myles Jack from UCLA? Okay, now the Lions. Hmmm…their secondary has been a complete mess for a few years now…how about CB Jalen Ramsey from Florida State? Now let’s tune into the game and see which team doesn’t want it more.
*I’m guilty of this charge
Why aren’t the Loins collapsing? I’m confused.
Obama
Fucking idiot Saints.
THANKS FOAR NOATHING BREESUS YOU FUCKING PILE OF SHIT
I didn’t know Breesus also played cornerback.
HE PLAYS EVERYWHERE
Saints D
http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma80n46W2I1r8ru56o1_500.gif
THIS ABDULLAH, I CALL HIM AN ANTI-CRUSADER, CAUSE HE’S KILLING A BUNCH OF SAINTS
Abdullah against Morgath sounds like a bad Hammer film,
http://49.media.tumblr.com/3b7b137364953e7120a2db102e28fb40/tumblr_my3apsCqJ01sx4xixo1_500.gif
Say what you will. I was in college and needed rent money. HE SAID IT WOULD BE TASTEFUL!!!
I fucking would fucking sooner fucking break the fucking screens out of my fucking devices than fucking try to fucking spend one more fucking moment fucking trying to fucking comment on this fucking game.
+1 for the Planes, Trains, and Automobiles reference.
http://content.internetvideoarchive.com/content/photos/9349/914924_013.jpg
Santa is fucking watching you.
The only fictional characters I care less about than Santa are Jesus and Muhammed.
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/57816714.jpg
Maybe I missed something. Is something wrong with Mort? He sounded like he was drunk or had a stroke or something.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/53c677ec4b6ca722fd736be98b986d9d/tumblr_nar3a2yUd41rkllmuo2_r2_250.gif
Again commercials when I come back. I guess more Alison Brie
http://media1.giphy.com/media/224Fi5tcgGgZa/giphy.gif
http://45.media.tumblr.com/7544999edbbc97ab90685b873a7409a1/tumblr_nx0ca8RPox1rkllmuo2_250.gif
Sean Payton’s second half strategy…
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/37/76/a7/3776a74b8aab3ac9d6b341f0075d568b.jpg
More like this….
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/e5/a7/ca/e5a7ca7d2bfb7ddc4552c384ca5a47aa.jpg
Hey, did you guys know Beckham played like a cunt yesterday? The NFL is pretty sure you don’t.
The NFL preaches “we’re anti concussion” “we make sure our players take this seriously”
Marquee player tries like hell to concuss an opponent on national tv
1 game suspension.
They should have cut one of his fingers off.
One game suspension he’s appealing, and they have to take it seriously. Not only that, but he threw a few punches, and was not ejected.
I want to shove Xmas ornaments down Berman’s throat
I want to light his “hair” on fire like Joe Pesci in Home Alone.
Halftime is twerk time.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/2c2abd42965209bc16bd7186e5701d8a/tumblr_nx5owz6YWG1rkllmuo2_250.gif
Man, just a fragkkake out here.
This game has gone far beyond plaid.
Like jello on santa’s sleigh
v
Santa would sleigh dat ass.
Hightower will probably feel that for a few weeks.
Things Jon Gruden Does in his Hotel Room
1. Photograph arterial sprays, add them to his Instagram account.
2. Jerk off to “American Psycho” hatchet scene.
3. Tape penis and genitals behind anus, recreate Buffalo Bob scene in Silence of the Lambs
4. Send buckets of chum to Tirico’s room.
5. Check on hooker corpse stuffed in his suitcase.
THIS PATRICK BATEMAN, I CALL HIM BARRY SANDERS BECAUSE HE WAS REALLY GOOD AT SLICING THROUGH A DEFENSE
I think it’s awful nice of you to assume he waits til he’s out of the lobby to do any of these things.
He admits that stuff on air. Give us something new
Detroit fall starting… or it isn’t
WHY WONT MY GODDAMN DEVICES WORK WITHOUT INTERRUPTION ON THIS SITE LIKE THEY DO ON EVERY OTHER FUCKING SITE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Haaaaaave you tried Chrome??
YESSSSSSSS ITS EVEN WORSE THAN THE OTHERS
Really? I’ve literally never had any issues on any browser on any platform. Chrome, Firefox, Mac, Windows, Android, iOS… I dunno my man. Shit’s weird.
THANKS OBAMA
Referee 10 feet away, call still looks different on replay
I’m just going to leave this here…
…..wow. Just…… wow.
“EPA tyranny” is my favorite.
I want to get angry but I got this second hand
I sort of enjoy “jobs leaving America,” as though outsourcing was a new thing Obama allowed.
wuld vote 4,, imo
If Trump wins, I’m petitioning my state to secede from the Union.
I encountered a person on Facebook who argued Donald Trump’s business bankruptcies were “brilliant” moves to evade paying a corrupt city and unions (natch).
When I explained how that brilliant strategy would work for the federal government, he wasn’t too happy.
NOT ENOUGH COOKS, apparently.
See I think the Saints have gone ahead and suspended their season, like how candidates suspend their runs rather than say they quit. Because they need to pretend like they could get back into the race at any moment just so they can unwind everything at the home office.
“Suspend my campaign” = “hide all personal contribution spending.”
More like continue to take in federal matching funds to pay back “personal” loans they have made to their campaigns.
I think candidate suspend their campaign so if there is a Brokered Convention, they can restart their campaign as a “compromise candidate”.
It’s close. They out and out say they quit then federal maching pretty much grinds to a hault and they would then have to fire all salary workers and shut down all offices out of thier own pocket.
Now if they make it through to the primaries, win some delegates than quit those delegates get released. However by suspending thier campaighn they control those delegates.
Still a fucking disgrace.
So if the Bengals shit the bed next week, should I spend the 2nd half posting Star Trek quotes or My Little Pony quotes while I slowly drift into madness?
Is there a My Little Starship Enterprise? I’d say that.
Rule 34
Sort of:
Now I’ve got fuck all going on because fucking Firefox kicked me off again onto this fucking shit tablet:
http://i.imgur.com/fjVp5Qf.gif
Is that from “Chopping Mall?”
Got back from a cig to commercials. More Alison Brie
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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v74/Nickasinsaltlick/poe.jpg
The Ice Buckeyes are a dirty bunch.
I just took a drink of alcoholic Egg Nog straight from the bottle. Should I be concerned?
Nope, you’re finally a full-fledged Commentist!
Has it been in an oven for a few weeks, so as to go sour?
Of course not. You’re one of us. You’re already beyond hope.
Is Will Ferrell following in Adam Sandler’s footprints? And I don’t mean that in a good way.
You may not be incorrect.
The Will Farrell Humor Formula goes like this:
If he curses = usually funny.
No cursing = not funny.
Whereas for Sandler, it’s just “Stars Adam Sandler = aggressively unfunny.”
But “son of a nutcracker” in Elf doesn’t count as cursing.
Exception that proves the rule. Don’t forget, my rules, I make em up (apologies to Carlin).
whoa whoa whoa you obviously haven’t seen this.
You mean, by doing his poorly-written pet projects where he’s paid top dollar, employs all of his buddies, and is always paired with a hot woman?
The female lead in Billy Madison makes my pants tight.
no regrets
That Veronica Vaughn is one, hot piece of ace. I know from experience dude.
Tatedown
The Loins are going to blow this lead, right?
It is what I am looking forward to, so I hope so
While incredibly improbable, I would enjoy it immensely if they lost out on a series of ever longer Hail Mary passes at the end of the game.
99 yard Hail Mary? It’s possible in Detroit!
Wouldn’t be the first time a loin has blown too early in New Orleans.
This defense is very porous
-New Orleans Levees
At this point I can’t remember if I posted something before. Also I am drunk as hell watching football normally. That being said I don’t think I posted this Alison Brie before
http://i.imgur.com/Dyl8y63.gif
Even if you had, I don’t think anyone here is really gonna mind that much.
According to the gifs that I’ve definitely not saved, someone has.
The Chronic-What!-cles of Riddick
Pick your jock up 59
It’s floating out in one of the canals, right next to that dead rat and the bloated corpse of a teenage hooker. No, the other one.
This guy is barely an appetizer
He’s got a sad face on his belly!
カメ
Japanese for turtle. I like learning new shit.
?
It’s turtles all the way down.
Well its Nyquil time! The best part of a cold.
There’s still a footed ball contest on, right?
At least while individual stats are still on the line
“Contest” implies both teams are playing to win.
That Steve Harvey gaffe was embarrassing, unprofessional, and ignorant.
It sums up Steve Harvey’s career very accurately.
But he said he was sorry!
http://files1.coloribus.com/files/adsarchive/part_1553/15531905/recruitment-who-cares-video-600-74728.jpg
Have you seen Family Feud lately? Dude is obviously smoking a glass dick.
Flynnsanity
They dont use as much magic spray in the NFL as they do in soccer for some reason
Have they ever figured out what’s in that magic spray? Other than magic?
Ice Stillers radio said Phil Kessel has 20 career hat tricks (he has two goals tonight). They then corrected that, saying they “misread” and that he actually has four career HTs. Steve Harvey nods in approval.
Between Mark Madden and Dejan Kovacevic, I don’t know who’s the more despicable Ice Stillers media personality.
Madden. It isn’t within light-years.
You, my friend, have not have had the “priveledge” of listening to Andrew Filliponi, who sees himself as the next SUPER GENIUS.
Steve Harvey’s popularity in the past decade still confuses me.
The Phil Kessel signing was a worse decision than the Jagr trade.
Listen after what the Penguins did to the Whalers in the Ron Francis trade-rape I don’t ever want to hear one of their fans complain about a move again. Bob Johnson should have been arrested for that.
Let’s not forget Ulf Samuelsson!
http://files1.coloribus.com/files/adsarchive/part_1553/15531905/recruitment-who-cares-video-600-74728.jpg
dafuq
http://www.legendsofhockey.net/LegendsOfHockey/gallery/000074/000545983.jpg
http://goldenagebartending.com/image/data/PRODUCTS/Ice%20Tools/Portable/Ice-pick-portable-opening-pic.jpg
Evening everyone. Hermana Weaselo and I spent the afternoon showing my Italian cousin around the city. We learned that he has not had buffalo wings, so it’s on the to-do list over the next couple weeks.
Limping Breesus
This game is over. I’m calling it a night.*
*translation: I’ve had a lot of booze and food and I’m quite sleepy right now.
You know what, if the Band of Brothers had that kind of attitude, we’d all be singing O Tannebaum and decorating christmas trees with Nazi christmas balls.
Weak Canadan.
I am crushingly sober.
I have not stopped yelling at my sons for 3 hours straight.
Help me DFO, you’re my only hope.
SMOKE POT
YES SIR!
Dude. I have had one joint in years. Where are you? I am coming over
I just hope for your sake that they are not Large Adult Sons that enjoy #roughhousing and #troublemaking.
One is 11 and the other is 8 – they are kings at roughhousing and wrestling and living room football.
We hve a 2 yr old son, who is quickly learning the ropes quite well.
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/0a/0a5887f9fd847b1a9e6ac384cecfe69117ede163dad5c0af1e85602e14dcc0fb.jpg