Your “Line ‘Em Up!” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Hit it!

TO THE GAMES!

Broncos/Chargers:

The te spot has been death to most fantasy owners this year but there’s hope on the horizon for next year. Noah Fant , as long as he’s targeted a fair bit, responds with catches, first downs and TD’s. Contract situations aside, the Chargers are very well set up skill position-wise. Now it’s time to address some missing parts on D and the o-line.

Panthers/Team:

Who does Team start at qb? Haskins can make plays with his wheels but can’t do the same downfield because of accuracy issues and Smith can’t either because of noodle issues. CMC is “dying to play” but that doesn’t make him any different than any other player that’s been in the league for a period of time. See: Kevin Greene.

Eagles/Cowboys:

Thanks to improved qb play neither of these squadoos is the pushover they were earlier in the season. Hurts and his threat of running have made the Eagles competent on third and fourth down and has (obviously) led to more plays from scrimmage. In just a few weeks he’s created 17 new sets of downs. The winner here increases their slim playoff hopes to “could use a few pounds”.

Rams/Seahawks:

The Los Angeles “Wide Range of Outcomes” Rams come to Seattle after getting shell-shocked emotionally by the Jets. T’ would seem that as goes the Rams o-line, so goes one Jared Goff. L.A. won the first time around but the rb’s they played against were Collins and DeeJay Dallas. (gawd, isn’t that the perfect name for a cokehead villain on a Miami Vice episode?) This round Seattle has the full complement of Carson, Hyde and Penny. Also, Akers is a no-show due to an anklet strain.

Be stylish yet constrained in the comment section, please.

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Horatio Cornblower

Can’t wait to raise the 2020 NFC East champs banner in Arlington.

Doktor Zymm

2020 Playoff Participants?

Horatio Cornblower

Awww Yeah!

Unsurprised

God willing they can do a two-fer: raise the banner and bury Jerrah.

Horatio Cornblower

Bury Jerry with the banner!

Unsurprised

But the banner would soak up piss.

Last edited 3 years ago by Unsurprised
King Hippo

Sucks that Week 16 is SNF finale, but at least we go out with a motherfucking blizzard!

Spur

Wonder if Deshawn is flipping for joy now?

Spur

Worse division in the League and the Philly Fucks are the 1st to get eliminated .

Last edited 3 years ago by Spur
Viva La Tabula Raza

Curbstomp in Dallas.

Horatio Cornblower

The idea of being cornered and caroled at in a drive-thru is not the selling point you think it is, Burger King.

Mother Puncher

By people in masks and matching uniforms. True bodysnatchers vibes

Gumbygirl

Neither are Whoppers, but they still make them.

King Hippo

Green Bay needing to try in Week 17, may spell DOOM!!!! for the Bearistocrats!

King Hippo

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King Hippo

Offensive linemen are FUCKING NUTS

ArmedandHammered

Of course they are, let me eat till I am obese and then do heavy cardio in stressful conditions and expect to live a long life.

hippofant

Something something Seattle normal game something something.

Viva La Tabula Raza

The Cowboys have utterly sucked for a quarter of a century. Why do I still hate to see them win?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

True hatred does not need to be questioned.

hippofant

Because everybody has continued to suck their dick for a quarter of a century as though they haven’t sucked.

Doktor Zymm

Because their ugh transcends suck

Horatio Cornblower

Jerry. Jones.

Horatio Cornblower

That is…that is not a good call.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Looks like it completely gutted the Philly defense. “Fuck it, why bother?”

Doktor Zymm

They’re all blind drunk on adulterated moonshine in New York

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think the fumble recovery call stands up.

King Hippo

That’s some weak-assed VAR

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So if this result holds, does it mean that the Rams and Cardinals will be playing for a playoff spot next week?

King Hippo

Unless Chi**** loses to GB, which means they won’t move LA/AZ to SNF. Which SUCKS.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

> Unless Chi**** loses to GB

Oh well. It would have been fun, anyways.

Doktor Zymm

One of the things I like about Jalen Hurts, his name is a sentence

Gumbygirl

Jesus wept.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Too bad Eagles suck more than Cowboys tonight.

Gumbygirl

This fucking guy

16091144408651994728531044283752_364469909837733.jpg
TheRevanchist

I didn’t even need to see this pic to know it, for some reason.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not sure that’s actually him. Looks too young.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe he just has really great skin, despite his diet of Budweiser and hate?

TheRevanchist

Confirmed. That is some dude named Tony Quinn. Not the right MAGAt.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That Tony Quinn just wanted to dance and have a good time.comment image

Gumbygirl

Wow, sucks to be him!

ArmedandHammered

He can’t be a true MAGAt as he was considerate of others welfare.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, at least he chose his moment; now and forever known as the Christmas Bomber.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4p7prURvIk

Dunstan

I prefer the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkzptjhCkbs

Gumbygirl

Yeah baby yeah!

ArmedandHammered

One of my favorite Tick villains.

Gumbygirl

Chairman Chairy was a good one too.

ArmedandHammered

Oh yes, Chairface Chippendale. I also loved El Seed as well.

Gumbygirl

El Seed! The Tick was an awesome cartoon. Way too good for kids!

Col. Duke LaCross

YEAH BABAY!

Doktor Zymm

Looks like the Nashville dude suicided

Horatio Cornblower

Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s going to be interesting to learn about his motive. And I guarantee he had a motive; if he just wanted to go out with a bang there was no reason to do it downtown.

Gumbygirl

He hated AT&T?

ArmedandHammered

Who doesn’t?

Dunstan

I’m willing to forgive a lot in gratitude for Lily.

ArmedandHammered

Only if she starts doing ads in the nude.

Dunstan

I second the motion and ask for unanimous consent.

hippofant

Don’t we all?

ThePirateSloth

I’ve seen people float the connection that AT&T is the parent company of CNN, it’s a red state, clearly he’s a Trump supporter -> blow up an AT&T building.

hippofant

Supposedly 5G conspiracy theorist.

Doktor Zymm

Seems like he didn’t want to kill people, from the timing and the warnings. May have been targeting the AT&T transmission building.

ArmedandHammered

Probably mourning how much it had changed since he was a kid or some such shit.

Viva La Tabula Raza

My aunt was born in and spent her entire 84 years in a small town in SE Massachusetts on 95 between Boston and Providence, watching it grow from a population of 8000 to 28000. She hated all the new arrivals and completely lived in the past, and would have done this kind of thing if she only had the technical skills.

Horatio Cornblower

I could give two shits about his motive. He’s an angry white guy who blew himself up and hurt others doing it. Fuck him and his motives. His story should be buried with him.

Mother Puncher

He at least warned everybody before. Such a polite suicide bombing

hippofant

I’ve watched way too much Homeland* to believe this seemingly-too-neat conclusion.

* Aka more than 1 season, cuz hooo boy did that show take a turn.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I have read elsewhere on the web today that this was an IRA tactic during the Troubles when they wanted to attack infrastructure and minimize collateral civilian casualties (bad PR).

Unsurprised

Indeed.

Horatio Cornblower

Yep.

WCS

Good Baby Buster’s back.

Unsurprised

I’ve spent all weekend making myself miserable for no fucking reason. I suck.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, I appreciated the Lynda Carter gallery anyway.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, there aren’t many options for things to do nowadays, making yourself miserable is kinda a default

Dunstan

It could be worse. You could be the Bengals, who spend every weekend making millions miserable for no reason.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[hears “making millions, looks up from sleeving pennies, frowns] – Mike Brown

Dunstan

Yeah, I debated making that “thousands,” but then I decided that many non-Bengals fans are made miserable watching them too.

Gumbygirl

Here you go

16090233826794856104103487843744_314333474913786.png
Viva La Tabula Raza

“A quest for learning”
What the fuck does that even mean. Is he Bill Murray in “The Razor’s Edge”?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ve secretly replaced the Chargers with the Raiders. Let’s see if anyone notices and/or cares.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, who can tell all those teams that end with ‘ers’ apart anyway?

King Hippo

Noticed. Briefly cared.