Last month the league wrapped up its investigation of the Redacteds’ workplace culture and ended up fining The Snyder $10 million for fostering a workplace culture that was filled with sexual harassment, bullying, and intimidation going all the way back to ol’ Danny Boy’s purchase of the team (although the investigation only went back to 2004).  In a typical apology, Snyder said he regretted that people found it difficult to work for him and decided to let his wife do the work of running the operations side of things for a little bit.  On the one hand, $10 million is the largest penalty the NFL has levied against an owner who wasn’t actually charged with a crime, but on the other, the league also fined Kam Chancellor $1,110,000 for missing 37 days of training camp back in 2015.  So let’s do the math here:

16 years of abusing scores of employees, assume only 200 working days a year = 10,000,000/(16*200) = $3,125/day

Missing 37 days of training camp = 1,110,000/37 = $30,000/day

Adjust for inflation = $34,554.86/day

You heard it here first!  Missing a day of training camp is more than TEN TIMES AS BAD as running a toxic workplace!

Meanwhile, earlier this year the other owners approved DanDan the Shitty Owner Man buying out the minority shareholders in the team, who, shockingly, were constantly in conflict Snidely Snyder von Awfulton.  I’m guessing the other owners are happy for the family to have 100% ownership since that’s one fewer team they have to worry about being in Superb Owl contention.  For an excellent chronology of how Damniel has run the team into the ground, check out this Sporting News article.  Of course, they are in the NFC East, so they always have a shot at the playoffs, but they haven’t won a playoff game since 2005.

But there must be something good about him, right?  After all, he managed to talk Ron Rivera into coming to work for him (apparently by flying Rivera to the Bahamas and then admitting that he had been incompetent at hiring so far, and thought that hiring Rivera would fix everything!  So a combo of bribery and flattery, not bad).  And he finally agreed to change the team name, so he can’t be all bad, right?

Unfortunately, it looks like 2021 will turn out to be a good season for Dickdrip Danny.  After a slow start on the vaccination front, the team has made it to 90%, and after somehow managing, despite Dwayne Haskins and his maskless stripper antics, to have only one player (who was on IR) test positive for Covid during the 2020 season, it looks like they’re unlikely to have any Covid forfeits this year.

As of this morning, the Washington Football Team had a 90% player vaccination rate, tied for 23rd in the NFL with the Chargers, Ravens and Bengals, per source.

Among all players, 92.7% are fully vaxed or in the process, and all but 4 teams have a vax rate at or above 89%.

— Nicki Jhabvala (@NickiJhabvala) August 25, 2021

Defense

Team’s defense ended the 2020 regular season with the 4th ranked defense (3rd if you use Football Outsider’s DVOA measure).  They were 6th in the NFL sack race, with 47.

Ryan Kerrigan headed to the Eagles (my Kerrigan jersey had an excellent run, but it had to end some time), but the rest of the notable defensive players are returning and the linebacker position has been enhanced with the addition of first round draft pick (#19) Jamin Davis.  They will almost certainly end up in the top 5 defenses again this year, and they play the Saints, so we should get to watch Jameis Winston get hit a lot, so bonus!

Offense

Fitzmagic will likely be starting at QB, and in addition to Terry McLaurin, Team has added a couple more good WRs, namely Curtis Samuel and draft pick Dyami Brown.  Antonio Gibson hopes to have a good sophomore season at RB, but doesn’t have much depth behind him.  It’s still Logan Thomas at TE.  A couple of shuffles but the O-line looks solid, and this is likely Scherff’s last season with them since Team is pulling the dick move of franchising him 2 years in a row.  Overall not great, but they should be able to put up points more easily than last year.

Predictions

There will be turmoil in the Middle East, we will start naming coronavirus variants after famous hurricanes, Team will win the NFC East with better than a 7-9 record, and then Seattle will kick their bums in the Wild Card game.