Thanks so much to TUDN for teaching me that descriptor for the Round of Sixteen.  Because it’s not goddamned SWEET with Duke and especially U*NC participating.

Anyway, I might have tuned out, but I can still give the imaginarium my uneducated, semi-coherent thoughts on the matchups:

4W Arkansas (+9.5) v. 1W Gonzaga (7:09, CBS)

Oh, fuckballs, I absolutely LOVE the Pig Sooey ML bet here.  Not that I think they are better than 50/50 to win, but it’s logically plausible.  It’s all about getting value for money, and the Hogs are that.

11S Michigan (+5) v. 2S Villanova (7:29, TBS)

Another South matchup between two teams of dadgum YANKEES.  Life comes at you fast sometimes.  As seemingly happens every season, Michigan is your rando power conference team who lands a somewhat questionable at-large bid, then goes on a run.  Can it continue?  Sure.  Nova is small, and they have to be medium-hot from three to win.

3W Texas Tech (-1) v. 2W Duke (9:39, CBS)

Chalk bracket says HAI.  Please don’t watch this Coach K knob-slobbering.  It is beneath all our dignities.

5S Houston (+1.5) v. 1S Arizona (9:59, TBS)

Do the Fighting Blax ™ have that team of destiny feel?  Yes, Other Hippo, they sure does!  But the JV 500s also could qualify, as the dreaded “post-hype sleeper” who breaks out the very first year you stop drafting/picking them.  Not that I am goddamned bitter or anything.  Kelvin Sampson is from North Cakalaky, and NC State would hire him in a hot second if they cared one teeny-tiny bit about winning.  But they don’t, and won’t.  Anyway, the winner here should beat the tar shit out of Villanova.  And this will be one fun-assed game.