Your “Catching You Up On Things” Tuesday Open Thread

That was a fun weekend. Road trip! Whale watching! Five-pin bowling & birthday cake! Captain America! I hope Memorial Day holds as much promise for American DFO Commentists.

ENOUGH YAMMERING! Onto the stories.

NFL News out of the Charlotte meetings:

• the owners agreed to the proposed instant-replay changes. To wit:

  

  “The Replay Official and designated members of the Officiating Department at the League office may consult with the on-field officials to provide information on the correct application of playing rules, including appropriate assessment of penalty yardage, proper down, and status of the game clock.”

  • Highlighting the need for the change was an October Monday Night Football contest “where the clock started 18 seconds early, potentially robbing the Steelers of a second chance to attempt a game-winning play at the goal line (they scored anyway). That gaffe forced a one-game suspension on Rob Vernatchi, the side judge responsible for the error.”
• For decision tomorrow, a proposal from the [Redacteds] to eliminate the post-preseason #3 player cut in favour of having the whole dump take place after preseason game #4, flooding the market with nearly 1,200 players when teams are preparing for the start of the season.
  • Whatever happens, you can count on Belichick to mine that tailings pond for gold, and the Browns to develop cyanide poisoning.
• Locations for future Super Bowls were announced:
  • LIII (2019): Atlanta
  • LIV (2020): Miami
  • LV (2021): LA

Other NFL news:

• The Bengals are trying out Dwight Freeney, no doubt to add some extra “CHUH” to an already amp’d-up defence.
• More OTA injuries: The Titans (I double checked!) have lost Byron Bell for 2016 due to a dislocated ankle.

• 

  From Florio’s Fabrication Factory:

  • Jalen Ramsey had “successful” surgery to repair his torn meniscus. It was performed by Dr. James Andrews, because all other doctors are apparently garbage.
  • Pete Morelli is getting a whole new crew this Fall, because they made the League have to change the replay rule (above). NEVER FORCE THE SHIELD TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY!
  • Cribbing from a TMZ story, JFF is now openly “blowing lines” in front of people. Pfft – he blew dozens of passes in front of thousands. How about telling me when he’s gotten help, you parasites.
  • Testing the waters for a Brady strawman argument, the question is: why aren’t stickum violators given the same harsh treatment as ball deflaters?
    • Since no one asked, the correct answer is: Because the Hall of Fame is better with Fred Biletnikoff in it.

• 

  Over at the corporate synergy site known as ESPN, they’ve got you covered when it comes to:

  • Aaron Rodgers’ brother Jordan and Night 1 of “The Bachelorette“. He likes girls! Proof:
    • He was in “Pitch Perfect 2”
    • His ex-girlfriend has decided to point-by-point everything he said last night.
      • She sounds great. Can’t imagine why they split up.
  • Seahawks 5th-round pick Quinton Jefferson working at Best Buy after a fight at a party gave him a broken jaw and cost him his freshman season at NC State.
    • It’s a bit misleading, since it was only one year, kinda sorta discounts his blown knee in 2014, and glosses over the more salient point of his finishing his degree early, so he forwent his final year of eligibility. But, clickbait!
  • Mason Crosby talking about every kick possibly being an onside kick. Oh goody.

Hilarious football-esque news:

In what sounds like a script to “Rescue Me” come to life, a NYPD-NYFD charity football game ended in an on-field brawl. On-hand to give this event a veneer of respectability were New York Giants running back Shane Vereen, who was honorary co-captain of the Bravest, Jets quarterback Bryce Petty, and Petty’s former teammate QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, currently a free agent, sources said. At times like this, my question is always: “Where was Mark Gastineau?”

Finally, on a serious note: Those of us who remember the old site will also remember Ape’s powerful piece on battling depression. The Detroit Free Press has an excellent story on Erik Kramer, his suicide attempt and depression recovery efforts. It is worth your time.

Brief political note:

There’s a primary in Washington State today. It counts for the Republicans, but doesn’t matter since they are down to one candidate (although Carson, Cruz & Kasich are still on the pre-printed ballots). It doesn’t count for the Democrats, since they had a caucus in March, and will use that for the delegate counts; they are only following state law by having the primary as well.

This is why foreigners shake their head at US politics. I’ll let John Oliver take over from here.

Tonight’s Playoff Action:

NHL: Pittsburgh @ Tampa – 8:00 – ELIMINATION GAME

• Game 6 – Tampa leads 3-2

NBA: Warriors @ Thunder – 9:00 (Game 4)

If-It’s-A-Blow-Out Options:

SPIKE: Ink Master: Revenge – Finale – 10:00

• It’s a three-way battle between (left to right) Christian, Anthony & Cleen Rock-One. It all comes down to a 24-hour chest piece and a 24-hour full sleeve. Umm…okay.

AMC: The Night Manager – 10:00 – Finale

• who will win the whodunit battle between House & Loki?

TMC: From Dusk Till Dawn – 10:00

• If I have to try and convince you, then you shouldn’t watch it. If I do need to convince you – 1996 Salma Hayek.

Oh, and the guy who made casual voyeurism seem dirty pleaded guilty today. Now, POST AWAY!