Very Meaningless Footy Saturday Thread

King Hippo - April 12, 2025April 11, 2025

Look. My cracker ass ain't gonna try to bullshit you. That cracker of a second half King's Afrikan Water Pistols unloaded on the Real Cuntfaces? That's as good as it's going to get. Also probably the last real bit of drama and entertainment we are getting until September. So sit back and enjoy

Updates From The VOID – Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - March 8, 2025March 7, 2025

Everything in this Timeline remains very stupid, and even MOAR terrible. There, you are all caught up on the week's current events. Loads of footy to maybe watch, starting with "Classic Six Pointer" (for Shempions qualification) between City of Men and the Robins Hood (7:30, USA). Various tepid offerings continue straight through

HAWT David Moyes Morning Action

King Hippo - February 22, 2025February 21, 2025

122

Is everyone up early? I sure hope so, because David Moyes - and the Old Lady (ie, Goodison Park) get one last shot against Men Untied (7:30, USA). Moyes' United tenure ended at this very same location, to the tune of Evertonians serenading his demise. Yes, he lost BOTH matches against

November 2024 Spawned – Weak Footy Slate

King Hippo - November 2, 2024November 1, 2024

190

THREE SHORT DAYS before the possible self-implosion of American society as we know/love/tolerate it. And we can't even get a full, distracting slate of fixtures. OK, Barcodes and Gooners to start (8:30, USA) ain't too bad. But then USA shows...Sham Town and Everton?? (11:00). Even HIPPO won't enjoy watching that car

Footy Footy Everywhere – A Discussion in Two Parts

King Hippo - October 26, 2024October 24, 2024

136

Do you like footed ball? Boy howdy, then does I ever gots GOOD NEWS for you! (I mean, other than the lack of our beloved Early Bird Special this week. That kinda blows goats.) USA choo-choo-chooses Villa/Cherries for the 10:00 broadcast. Are the Villans becoming a media darling? Oy yes, they are.

Full Autumnal Glory (nae Holes) Returns!

King Hippo - October 19, 2024October 18, 2024

156

Yes, we get the Prem back this weekend, to go along with a fairly killer set of JV ball. It's (momentarily) good to be alive. That means Spurs and Hammers over morning coffee (7:30, USA). In my mind, jury's still out on both - they could be Zooropa contenders, they could

A Week After the Storm – Footy Abundance Thread

King Hippo - October 5, 2024October 4, 2024

146

Last week, we had the titanic clashes. King's Afrikan Water Pistols trying to hang onto an incredible win at City of Men - who were on what seemed to be the world's longest, dry power play. Somehow, they found the equalizer at the very death, but Arsenal still boast the momentum.

Just Another Sabado de los Footy

King Hippo - September 21, 2024September 20, 2024

128

I have no overarching theme this week. Keep those brains turned off and treat yo'self. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSjM5B3QNlw Fronk's Hammers welcome Our Brand Is Crisis Chelski (7:30, USA), quite plausibly worth your asshole mind waking you up. I mean, mine's will regardless, why not look on the plus side. I refuse to make any mention of the

Footy Aplenty – Morning Thread

King Hippo - September 14, 2024September 13, 2024

220

Welcome back, dearest Premiership. Wake and bake, if you so choose, with Men Untied away to Sham Town (7:30, USA). Probably not much in this one. Mighty Whitey take on Fronk's Hammers next in the 10:00 window, sadly it is Peacocked. TV option is Leicester/Palace, which makes no sense and

Almost Full Footy’s GlorioUs Return

King Hippo - August 31, 2024August 30, 2024

170

Oh my cats, so much to watch this weekend. America settles into its ample couches/recliners, booze and/or drugs in hand. Life is temporarily good. The only Friday JV fixture worth watching is a 10:30p kick...but the best Lesser match of the day is an early bird, King's Afrikan Water Pistols welcoming in

You Lookin’ FOAR a Hero – Just Watch (JV NFL) Week Zero

King Hippo - August 24, 2024August 23, 2024

I was thinking of the serendipity (word likely makes no sense in this context, but as you may know, I do a lot of drugs) of the football calendar. Last week, we get eased back in with EPL only. This week, we get the smattering of Week Zero games. Next

A New Lesser Season Awaits

King Hippo - August 17, 2024August 16, 2024

Oh my cats, next week, I will even have a handful of JV NFL fixtures to write up. Our long national/international nightmare is over! FITBAW!!!! You might suspect Hippo is irritated that YET AGAIN the Redshite filth open with a newly-promoted minnow. Especially given that it is in a stand-alone window