Rob Manfred Wishes He Were a National Disgrace

Senor Weaselo - November 6, 2020

Nice to see those one-year punishments were so effective and black-balled the coaches involved, right? Ha. AJ Hinch (former Astros manager) to the Tigers. Alex Cora (former Astros bench coach, Red Sox manager, and ringleader of BOTH verified cheating scandals as Buzzergate wasn't confirmed *jerking motion*) gets RE-HIRED by the Red

Marble League Rolldown: Event 16, Closing Ceremonies, and Wrap-Up Thoughts

Senor Weaselo - August 26, 2020August 25, 2020

Welcome to the final Rolldown of Marble League 2020! At this point we know what's at stake. So let's get to it. Event 16: The Marathon Believe it or not, this is not an outdoor course! Call me surprised, as I was expecting the longest sand rally course yet, or road course,

Marble League Rolldown: Marble League Showdown

Senor Weaselo - August 18, 2020August 17, 2020

The rush continues! As mentioned in prior installments the marathon, the non-qualifying teams from the 2020 season compete in a B-league event called the Showdown. 12 teams compete for 8 spots in next year's Marble League Qualifiers, where they will be joined by all the non-auto qualifiers from this year's

Oh Yeah, It’s Time for a Jets Preview (or, Quarantine in the Underworld)

Senor Weaselo - August 18, 2020August 17, 2020

Scene: The underworld! Hades, the god of the Greek underworld, and Persephone, his wife and the goddess of both the underworld and vegetation, are at home watching the Marble League, because of course they are. Persephone is wearing a Raspberry Racers shirt, while Hades is wearing, out of all teams,

Marble League Rolldown: Events 14 & 15

Senor Weaselo - August 17, 2020August 17, 2020

And then there were three. Yes, three events remain in Marble League 2020, and here we're covering two of them. By math, only one event will be left, the marathon. By then the championship may already be decided, or by then it'll remain up for grabs. We'll find out below. A

Marble League Rolldown: Events 12 & 13

Senor Weaselo - August 11, 2020August 10, 2020

Five events remain in the quest for marble sports glory. Will a former champion reclaim the throne in the Marble League, whether the O'rangers or Midnight Wisps? Or will a new team emerge and have their time on top of the mountain, such the Minty Maniacs or the Crazy Cat's

Marble League Rolldown: Events 10 & 11

Senor Weaselo - August 4, 2020August 4, 2020

It's a battle throughout the standings as we've crossed the midpoint. After this article, there will be 5 events left at Marble League 2020. Combine that with the return of Marbula E (Mercedes was running away after the first 3 races; sponsors Envision Virgin Racing were stuck in neutral) and

Marble League Rolldown: Events 8 & 9

Senor Weaselo - July 28, 2020July 27, 2020

We return to the Andromedome and to the Rolldown, as we get to the midpoint of the season's biggest competition that won't get stopped by the Miami goddamn Marlins. The last time we were here, records were falling left and right. The hurdles had the record continuously get lowered, and the

Marble League Rolldown: Events 6 & 7

Senor Weaselo - July 21, 2020July 20, 2020

We return to the Rolldown, described by someone on the Jelle's Marble Runs subreddit as "Comprehensive. To the max." This week another two events were on the schedule as we watched to see whether another team wanted to join the Minty Maniacs, O'rangers, and Crazy Cat's Eyes in the upper

Senor’s Marble League Rolldown: Events 4 & 5

Senor Weaselo - July 14, 2020July 14, 2020

We're back at the Andromedome, and as we've moved into the actual dog days, we're moving into a two events per week format. So that means slightly less clogging up the airways on my end as we cover two events as the Minty Maniacs and O'rangers seemingly square off for

Senor’s Marble League Rolldown: Event 3

Senor Weaselo - July 8, 2020July 7, 2020

Welcome back to the Rolldown. With two events complete, Balancing and Halfpipe, we move to the first individual event of the competition, the Funnel Endurance. The question is, will it follow form? And of following form, will a third different team take gold, or will the O'rangers or Minty Maniacs

Senor’s Marble League Rolldown: Event 2

Senor Weaselo - June 30, 2020June 29, 2020

Well, we're still here, so that's nice. We return to the Rolldown with the second event of the 2020 Marble League, the halfpipe! In our first event, it was the Minty Maniacs surprising us all by taking gold in their first event all the way back from the depths of the