Occasional Puzzle: The Alex ‘n’ Andy Show

EXT. SIERRA NEVADA MOUNTAINS – DAY

VOICE: (from inside flaming plane) The door is jammed shut! Someone do something!

[FUSELAGE FLIES OPEN]

ANDY REID: [bursting through fuselage] Oh yeah!

ALEX SMITH: Oh no! Oh no, no, no, no, no. Run, Andy, run!

[ANDY and ALEX and several other passenger run away from the flaming wreckage. After a few dozen feet, ANDY slows down]

ALEX: Come on, keep going!

ANDY: [huffing] Time out. Time out.

[Airplane explodes; shockwave leaves passengers sprawled out on the snow]

ALEX: Is everyone all right?

FIRST PASSENGER: Good god, no. Everyone on the plane is most certainly dead at this point.

ALEX: No, I mean of the people who are right here. Is everyone okay?

ANDY: I’m hungry.

ALEX: No, I mean is anyone hurt?

ANDY: My stomach hurts. From being empty.

SECOND PASSENGER: [dies from shrapnel wound]

ALEX: We’d better try to find some shelter. [takes stock of survivors, which includes ANDY REID, two trashily dressed young women, and two young men in short-sleeved shirts and ties] What’s everyone names?

BRANDY: I’m Brandy, and this is Candy.

CANDY: We’re entertainers.

BRANDY: We were on our way to Seattle.

CANDY: Some football player was supposedly about to sign a new contract and throw a huge party…

BRANDY: But it fell through.

CANDY: So we were headed to Reno!

BRAYDEN: I’m Brayden, and this is Caleb. We’re spreading the Lord’s word.

ALEX: [nods approvingly] I’m Alex, and this is Andy. Let’s see if we can find some shelter from this wind and snow.

 

INT. CAVE – DAY

ALEX: It’s been twenty-four hours.  No search planes, no helicopters, no rescue party…

ANDY: No supply drop.

ALEX: Do they even know we crashed? It’s like we’ve fallen off the face of the planet.  I think we’re going to have to hike out of these mountains ourselves. Before our strength gives out.

ANDY: Listen…the girls and I have been talking. We’re really hungry.

ALEX: What are you talking about? We salvaged, like, thirty pounds of peanuts from the plane.

ANDY: Yeah, those are, uh, gone. We’re thinking it’s time for some more…extreme measures [looks heavily in the direction of the two missionaries]

ALEX: [realization dawns on him] You’re not serious.

ANDY: As my third heart attack. Or my fourth one, that was pretty bad too.  Not the fifth one, though.  [shakes fist] You expect me to swear off chicken-fried Twinkies for THAT, Dr. Berenbom?

ALEX: Andy, that’s unthinkable.

ANDY: No, they’re really good.  You gotta try ’em.

ALEX: No, I mean the whole “murdering innocent people and feasting on their carcasses” thing.

ANDY: Hear me out. What if one of them had…an accident? Like, they tripped and fell and hit their head on a rock.

ALEX: I won’t have that on my conscience. Grab your parka. We’re heading out.

 

EXT. EDGE OF RAVINE – DAY

A cable stretches across the ravine, and on the close side is a hand-powered tram.

BRAYDEN: That is terrifying.

ALEX: Well, at least we know we’re getting somewhere.

CALEB: I don’t like the way those three are conspiring over there [glances to where ANDY, BRANDY, and CANDY are quietly discussing something]. They’re up to something.

ALEX: I’ll go see what’s up. [walks over and pokes his head in between BRANDY and CANDY]

ANDY:…and then while he’s distracted, the other one comes up behind him and…[stops abruptly when he sees ALEX is listening]

ALEX: What are you talking about over here?

[nobody says anything]

ALEX: You think this is my first time stepping into a huddle and having everybody clam up and look at me like I’m dog meat? I know you guys are up to something. I’m warning you…don’t try anything. Now let’s get ourselves across this canyon.

 

Puzzle Summary:  The passengers must use the tram to cross to the other side of the ravine.  The tram can hold two people at a time, and requires one person to operate (i.e. it cannot be sent across empty). ANDY, BRANDY, and CANDY (A, B, C) are willing to resort to cannibalism. If any combination of them outnumbers any combination of ALEX, BRAYDEN, and CALEB (a, b, c) on either side of the ravine, they will murder him (or them) crack open their heads, and feast on the goo inside. How can the passengers safely cross the ravine without reverting to savagery?

LINK TO PUZZLE SOLUTION

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Old School Zero

Gah. I was one move away, I think, before I gave up and looked at the solution. I then went back fresh and figured out where I went wrong and it all made sense. Good job!

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

That was weird – I had to go in and manually approve your puzzle answer post – it showed as a user named after the post. The lesson, once again: WordPress is weird.

WhyEaglesWhy

You can do much worse than filling up on candy and brandy in the wilderness, amirite?

ballsofsteelandfury

Question: How old are Candy and Brandy?

– Nacho

King Hippo

Old enough!

– M.C.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh