There has recently been a fried chicken renaissance in the culinary world. It’s been interesting watching food items famously known to be unhealthy for you recently being lauded and applauded for just being delicious. Things like fried chicken, bacon, duck fat, cheeseburgers were pilloried, shunned, demonized and outright banned during the ’80’s, ’90’s and early aughts because, well face it, this shit ain’t healthy in any way shape or form. Eat this daily and you will die a gruesome, obese and cholesterol bloated death. Sounds delicious!

My brothers and I were all born in Fort Worth Texas . Since both parents worked for the government as civil service workers we moved around. A lot. When I was just a few months old my parents loaded up the station wagon and moved the whole family to Californee. They had 4 boys age 4 and under. Holy shit. Wrap your mind around that! They hopped on Route 66 and headed west. A favorite family story is brother number two became car sick and leaned over and spewed on brother number one, who spewed right back at him and also got brother number three with some spray back. Brother number three promptly vomited also. Pops pulls the Wagon Queen Family Truckster to the side of the road, turns the car off, looks at Ma and says “That’s it!” and he promptly started walking away leaving everyone else in the distance. He did eventually turn around and come back and we did get to California but goddamn I love that story. If it was me I may have kept on walking.

Anyway once every year or two the family would get back in the car, head back to route 66 and drive to Texas to visit my Dad’s family. How the fuck they managed to do this regularly, I have no idea. On one of these trips my parents decided to visit all of their old friends one family per night. All of the families we visited insisted on making dinner for my whole family clan, which is insane because there are six of us and all four boys were basically livestock at this point who could devour entire tables of food. (Shudders). On this visit the first five families we visited each served us fried chicken for dinner. I love fried chicken but 5 nights in a row is a bit excessive. On the sixth night we were served spaghetti and we were all thankful. I probably could eat fried chicken five nights in a row but I may die of clogged arteries before I awoke on the sixth day. This is why I only make this about once or twice a year. Yes, I really do eat healthy despite the luxurious recipes I give to all of you.

What I am going to do today actually borders on insanity itself. Most of the recipes I’ve given so far are elaborate but not terribly labor intensive. Yes, there are some long cooked meals and some marinating, chopping, grilling etc. but none of them are as flat out, balls out, Chopped kitchen-like crazy as what I’m making today. I’m doing fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and biscuits. All of these cook at the same time, require attention at the same time and are all cooked on or in a stove. Also, I just remembered it’s in the middle of the fucking summer. Why the fuck am I doing this again?

Too late now. Let’s get busy!

For the fried chicken:

Get some chicken. 1 whole cut up bird would do nicely.

1 qt buttermilk.

4-5 splashes of Louisiana hot sauce. I’m not a Tabasco guy so I use Red Rooster. Trappey’s works too.

2 cups all purpose flour

1 teaspoon of baking powder

1 tablespoon paprika

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon dried thyme leaves, crushed

2 teaspoons kosher salt

Freshly ground pepper

Peanut or canola oil, for frying

We will be mixing together the buttermilk and hot sauce and what do you think we will be doing with them, class? Yes, you in the back with your hand up, Balls of Steel.

Balls of Steel: “We’ll put them in a one gallon freezer bag along with the chicken and marinate in the refrigerator overnight?”

Check out the big brain on Balls! You’re a smart motherfucker. Yes, we will marinate in a freezer bag overnight.

Mix together the paprika, cayenne, garlic powder, thyme, salt and pepper. Separate in 1/2. Mix 1/2 with the flour and baking powder and we will use the other half to season the chicken prior to dredging in the flour (that’s fancy-ass tip #1). Remove the chicken from the buttermilk mixture, wipe off excess buttermilk. Season with the seasoning mix, then dredge in the flour. Do the same for all pieces. Save the seasoned flour for the gravy. See below.

Preheat oil in a cast iron skillet(!!!) Get the temp in the skillet up to about 350 degrees. Without crowding the pan, cook the pieces 3-4 at a time in the hot oil. You’re going to cook the chicken about 8 minutes or so per side until golden brown and fucking delicious. Cool on a wire rack to allow grease to drain. After cooking all of the chicken, drain all but a tablespoon of oil from the skillet and hang on to all of the crispy bits for the moment. It will be put to good use.

Mashed Potatoes:

You do know how to make mashed potatoes don’t you? Aw fer chrissake!

One potato per person.

Salt

Pepper

2 Tablespoons of butter

Splash of milk. Whole milk if you can. It does make a difference.

Peel potatoes and boil in salted water. 12 minutes sound right? Sure let’s do that.

Place the cooked potatoes into your blending vessel of choice, I will use the Kitchenaid Mixmaster 2000 for this shit. Add the butter and the milk, salt and pepper. Mix until you’ve made non-lumpy mashed potatoes.

Biscuits:

2 cups all purpose flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/3 cup shortening

3/4 milk.

Mix together the dry ingredients. Using a pastry blender cut in the shortening until it makes small pea-size lumps. Make a well in the center – remember the home made pasta discussion? – and pour in the milk. Mix with a fork until just mixed, don’t over-mix. Turn out on a floured surface and roll to a 1/2 inch thickness. Using a biscuit cutter or glass or coffee cup, shot glasses are too small for biscuits, put that shot glass away unless you are going to use it properly, cut out about 10 biscuits. Re-shape and roll the leftover dough if you need to. These will cook in a 450 oven for about 12 minutes.

Gravy:

Those leftover crusty bits and oil in the cast iron skillet.

1/2 cup or so of the seasoned flour we saved from before.

Milk about 1 pint or more.

Salt and pepper to taste.

Get those crispy bits in the skillet a-sizzlin’ again. Add in the flour and mix to make a roux-ish substance. Add in the milk a little at a time. You may want to error on the side of too much gravy because it never makes enough. Cook until it reaches the desired consistency and season with salt and pepper.

Do you see what we’ve done here? DO YOU SEE?!? We’ve made freshly cooked nostalgia fresh from the kitchen. The cayenne and thyme are my additions to this party the rest goes all the way back to the old church socials that you attended when you were a kid. You did go to church growing up didn’t you? Neither did I. You are going to be amazed with the savory, crispy delicious chicken, the smooth, delicious mashed potatoes and gravy ( I ate my entire serving of mashed potatoes and gravy before I ate anything else on my plate) and the light, fluffy biscuits that you no doubt covered in gravy.

This is legendary stuff. A portrait of pure Americana. Not to mention one righteous shit-ton amount of work in a hot kitchen. This is the stuff that memories are made of.

Keep that in mind as you abandon your family on the side of Route 66 because the little shits won’t stop puking on each other. Sonofabitch!