Your “It’s My Own Damn Fault” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Item the first: Lambeau update

He’s back to being happy!

The pill regimen seems to be doing the trick. Mind you, it’s penicillin once a day & Gabapentin twice, so on that measure anyone would be doing fine.

I’ll be here if you have extras.

So we think that, by the end of next week, he will be back to his old self & chasing bitches around the neighbourhood like the stupid dog with no testicles that he is.

——————————————–

Item the second: Union work

I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m Adult Education union president for Vancouver for the next school year.

Actually, I know exactly how it happened – no one wanted to do it, so the hardcores in the union were left with no option but to ask a former Vice-Principal to do the job. I’m sure it killed a few of them to have to consider it.

I’ll do it, and for the whole year. They know I won’t half-ass it, but they also know I’m not “ride or die”, so there’s going to have to be a balancing act involved.

Or other methods.

It might get in the way of some of my duties here, but I won’t know until I get closer to September. Luckily, during the season, I only end up doing Tuesday & weekends, thanks to Scotchy, Jake & Balls. So, we’ll see. Maybe one of you could write me a note. Come to think of it, Don_t’s from Puerto Rico – maybe he can find Epstein’s mom.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Leafs at Habs – 7:30pm | NBCSN / CBC / Sportsnet
      • Round 1, Game 6 – Cabbagetown leads 3-2
        • 2500 fans are allowed into the building.
    • Islanders at Bruins – 8:00pm | NBC / Sportsnet360
      • Round 2, Game 1
  • NBA:
    • 76ers at Wizards – 7:00pm | ESPN / TSN3
      • Game 3 – Sixers lead 2-0
    • Jazz at Grizzlies – 9:30pm | ESPN / TSN3
      • Game 3 – series tied 1-1
  • MLB:
    • Braves-Mets / Brewers-Nationals / Giants – Dodgers – 7:00pm | FOX
  • Fisticuffs:
    • AEW:
      • Countdown to Double or Nothing – 7:00pm | TNT / TSN
    • Showtime Boxing:
      • Oubaali vs. Donaire – 10:00pm | Showtime / TSN

Enjoy yourselves. Go Habs.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Horatio Cornblower

An 18-year old playing professional Aussie football? Is he paid in wombats and Foster’s lager?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What’s the right answer after a few beers and then cocktails? I think it’s stout from an internet friend.

Horatio Cornblower

DO IT!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A beer as pretentious as it is delicious

Horatio Cornblower

Nate, the brains behind Treehouse, trends towards the pretentious. If he didn’t make such great beer, and have a wife who is the definition of ‘adorable’, he’d probably be regularly getting stuffed into lockers.

And I should know!

Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll allow it

Horatio Cornblower

Jim Gray is the ring interviewer for this fight.

In related news, Jim Gray is alive.

Also, this is a good beer. it’s like if cotton candy had alcohol in it.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not as sweet beers have now arrived in Connecticut. Knowing FedEx, that means you’ll get them like Thursday

Horatio Cornblower

I look forward to them getting swiped off of my porch on Wednesday.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So, are we watching Richmond-Adelaide on FS2?

ballsofsteelandfury

I am!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I legit don’t know what to think about Richmond this year

ballsofsteelandfury

They suck then they come back then next week the same cycle repeats. This game is a perfect example.

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Horatio Cornblower

THIS FRENCH FIGHTER, I CALL HIM ‘THE MAGINOT LINE’ BECAUSE HE HAS CRUMBLED!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

What, did his opponent just walk around him?

Horatio Cornblower

One of the fighters in the main event is French, the other is wearing the colors of the New York Mets, so I’m very curious as to how they’re both going to lose.

Horatio Cornblower

If I were a boxer and my opponent said that I was “easy to predict” I would come out and kick him in the balls in the first round.

Sure, I lose one or two points, but that fucker’s gonna be on his toes for the rest of the night.

ballsofsteelandfury

In ten minutes, Richmond v Adelaide on FS2!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

At Giants Stadium!

ballsofsteelandfury

Lady Bruins win and go to the College World Series! Nice!

Horatio Cornblower

“They don’t call me Filipino Flash for nothing” says Brendan McIreland.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[raises scalpel]

[lowers it while attempting to hide his disappointment]

“Sorry, I thought you said ‘Filipino Flesh’.”

– Tim Tebow

Horatio Cornblower

“MOMMY WHY DOES THE JAGUARS TIGHT END HAVE MY FORESKIN!!!???”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Because he’s not good enough to play quarterback but he sells lots and lots of tickets, sweetie.”

Gumbygirl

Did Tebow really circumsize a kid, or was it psychic surgery? They were big on that in the PI back in the day, or at least that’s what that crispy blonde skank that Joe Theisman sued for palimony said on That’s Incredible!

Gumbygirl

Gumby informs me her name is Cathy Lee Crosby. Whatever.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Memphis-Mormons is now tied.

Horatio Cornblower

The fight has been stopped. The doctor stepped in an stopped it just because the white guy’s eyes were swollen shut.

Can’t argue with the stoppage; it was warranted.

ballsofsteelandfury

I suppose it’s kinda hard to keep punching when you can’t see what you’re punching.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Too true.
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Horatio Cornblower

It’s more that you can’t see what’s coming at you but yeah, hitting back also becomes problematic.

ballsofsteelandfury

Given what you said before, I’m not sure he really was too worried about stopping any punches coming his way.

Horatio Cornblower

Fair point.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

White guy with a big comeback in Round 7, but with both of his eyes swelling shut I sense he is on borrowed time.

Horatio Cornblower

When I was a wee Cornblower I lived in Meriden, CT. For a brief time there was a women’s professional softball team, the Falcons, that had Joan Joyce somehow involved with them. She may have been coaching by then. I knew she struck out Ted Williams in an exhibition, (which undoubtedly pissed Ted off no end), but looking her up I learned she also got Hank Aaron and threw 150 no-hitter and 50 perfect games in her career.

Like most people from Waterbury, CT, she has now moved to Florida.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Joyce

Viva La Tabula Raza

I heard Ted Wlliams lost his head over getting his head handed to him in that exhibition.

Horatio Cornblower

I was *this* close to making that joke.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It was a two-in-one, could not decide which to take, so I took both.

Gumbygirl

BOGO, bitches!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “Waterbury” I thought you were talking about Osama Bin Laden

Horatio Cornblower

If they threw his corpse in the Naugatuck River it would have dissolved within 4 minutes.

Horatio Cornblower

The white guy’s defensive strategy of “being able to take a punch” seems debatable at best.

Game Time Decision

Aka the Homer

ballsofsteelandfury

Only Mexicans can pull that off. They wait until the other guy tires of throwing punches and then go to town.

Horatio Cornblower

This guy has one of those Khazakstani-sounding last names, so I have a high amount of confidence that, short of a smuggled in tire iron, he’s not getting knocked out.

It really is a hell of a fight.

ballsofsteelandfury

3 run homer for the Lady Bruins makes it 6-0. Very nice!

Horatio Cornblower

Softball at this level is actually pretty entertaining.

ballsofsteelandfury

It actually is. They’re tremendous athletes. I really enjoy women’s sports because it seems to me they care more and they try harder.

Horatio Cornblower

The white guy goes down! Never saw that coming.

Horatio Cornblower

If you’re into the boxing thing, the fight on Showtime right now is pretty good.

I always like being reminded that either of two 145 lb. guys could clean me out in less than a minute, despite my outweighing them by 70 lbs.

It’s all muscle, of course.

ballsofsteelandfury

Is the penis a muscle?

Horatio Cornblower

It better be; I haven’t been doing all these push-ups with it for nothing.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m watching women’s softball. To be fair (to be fair, to be fair), it is my alma mater so at least there’s a genuine rooting interest not just the perv factor.

If it was the perv factor, I’d be rooting for Virginia Tech. There are some beautiful ladies on that team. .

Horatio Cornblower

BREAKING NEWS! Toronto announces that they have hired a new coach to get them over the play-off hump! Let’s go live for the new coach’s first words on the team and his outlook!
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Horatio Cornblower

Hartford is going to win the Stanley Cup before Toronto does.

Dunstan

ET LE BUT!!!!!!

OLE OLE OLE OLE

Game Time Decision

The Leafs loosing to be out of the playoffs is my fav schadenfreude day.

Also love that the word is in my spell check

Last edited 2 years ago by Game Time Decision
Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, this is going to end well.
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10%, and smooooooooooth.

Dunstan

So once again, you’ve spent all your money on Hookers.

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t finished this one yet, so technically…
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rockingdog

found a funny:

americans: socialist countries hide all the bad parts of socialism

also americans: what’s the tulsa massacre

ballsofsteelandfury

This is quite the Canadian hockey contest.

herodotus450

A Montreal 5 on 3 ends with a deuce in the net

Horatio Cornblower

/Najeh Davenport has entered the chat.
//He did not spell it with a ‘c’

Dunstan

THIS MONTREAL POWER PLAY, I CALL IT RUSSELL WILSON, BECAUSE IT TOOK FOREVER BUT FINALLY SCORED

Dunstan

AND NOW IT KEEPS SCORING

Horatio Cornblower

AND IT ALSO CHOKED AT THE FINISH, AND MAY VERY WELL BLAME JESUS FOR THAT!

herodotus450

Leafs losing, that’s good. COREY PERRY winning? That’s bad.

herodotus450

Two penalties in the NYI-BOS game, and two power play goals. BUT OH NO we better not call penalties in the playoffs (clutches pearls) we might get more scoring and attract more, dumber, fans.

herodotus450

Hockey network is actually showing the real, live feed of the other game during intermission. What a concept! If I still watched NFL I’d be glaring at its coverage right now.

Game Time Decision

So my neighbour tried to throw out the front of his car. And no I do not live in the middle of nowhere
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Viva La Tabula Raza

The vinyl brick cladding at the base of that trailer looks very realistic. Single or Double-Wide?

Game Time Decision

Single, can’t afford to live in a double

Horatio Cornblower

They can’t say no if you don’t ask.

/Also Darren Sharper’s motto, but for different reasons

Wakezilla

If it is any consolation for Blood Oil City fans, I absolutely am going to acknowledge their treble FFP penalty that they picked up this season.

TheRevanchist

I caught the first minute and the last minute of the match this morning, with a visit to the graveyard and Jimmy Johns in between those minutes. I don’t mind visiting my dead loved ones, but JJ’s is a place I already hate. Everyone else in this house likes it though. And, as usual, they fuck up whatever I order. I really fucking hate that place and every asshole in it, including the other customers.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a solid hate taek.

Viva La Tabula Raza

They always fuck you at the drive thru.
—Leo Getz

SonOfSpam

I had no opinion on the place until the news broke that the actual Jimmy John guy hunts endangered big game in Africa like an asshole coward piece of shit.

So fuck that stupid chain forever.

Horatio Cornblower

What SoS said. The only reason you’ll find me in a Jimmy John’s is the fire that breaks out shortly after I leave.

Gumbygirl

Lambeau looks kind of high in that picture-welcome to the club, dogger!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m eagerly awaiting the Grand Opening of the DFO Hotel and Casino in glitzy Vancouver, British Columbia.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

One thing about LA–sports don’t really affect traffic because it’s just always shit.

SonOfSpam

Will the Dodgers game cause shitty traffic in the area?

There is never unshitty traffic in the area.

ballsofsteelandfury

I just passed by there and the shitty traffic was due to a Tesla that stopped in the fast lane of the 110 right at the tunnels.

SonOfSpam

That just fucking sucks.

I mean that someone bought a Tesla.

ballsofsteelandfury

What really grinds my gears is that people don’t fucking get out of their cars and push their vehicles to the side anymore. There was a special pullout area on the left side not 100 feet away.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

And if anyone is an expert at pulling out….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…it’s obviously not Balls’ dad!

[rimshot]

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think all the descendants of the folks that had their homes in Chavez Ravine stolen to build Dodger Stadium should have an epic cruise-in on all the roads in the vicinity of the stadium every time the Dodgers have a home game.

TheRevanchist

When they do the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, it does get worse. The Pedo’s must be violating their probation that day.

SonOfSpam

Happy to hear about happy doggy. ALL DOGGIES SHOULD BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME.

Also, gonna change your handle to BeerGuyHoffa?

But mostly, good boy Lambeau.

ballsofsteelandfury

Also, will BGR be banging the Prime Minister’s wife and extracting favours in exchange for not releasing the video?

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
King Hippo

You ain’t seen nuthin! – AleRobbie, smacking lead pipe into his left palm

Viva La Tabula Raza

When gabapentin came out, the ads warned against suicidal thoughts as a side effect. Both I and my dog are taking it, me for diabetic neuropathy, and she for arthritis. I do get suicidal thoughts, but never severely enough to act on them. I wonder if she thinks about running out in front of a car or drowning herself in the pool.

ballsofsteelandfury

I wonder where “Suicidal Thoughts” placed on their band name list:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoF_a0-7xVQ

Viva La Tabula Raza

They only wanted a Pepsi.

Horatio Cornblower

Just one, for that matter.

SonOfSpam

Hey, if the thoughts ever get too loud, head to the comment section. We’ll talk you down or push you the other way as appropriate.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, that’s part of the reason I’m still hanging out. I do think I’m gonna have to check in to dry-out/rehab before the end of the year

SonOfSpam

Whatever works man, you got your head in the right place.

King Hippo

and remember – we like you even though you are a P*ts supporter!

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s more tolerance than I probably deserve!

King Hippo

A bona fide Union leader! Do you inherit a set of goons, or do ya have to recruit ’em from scratch?

ballsofsteelandfury

Do ya bury your enemies in Stanley Park or just go straight dumping the bodies in False Creek?

ballsofsteelandfury

disarticulated is a word that should be used more often…