Cassel has a concern

Exterior Bills Training Camp:

Tyrod Taylor: Hey What’s up, Matt

Cassel: Feelin’ good man. You?

TT: I’m great but you know what man, you look a little down today.

Cassel: Naw? I feel great! Ready to scrimmage and ready for Cleveland tomorrow. We’re gonna kick some ass!

TT: For real man, I know you. We spend hours in the meetings and the walkthroughs together. You look like something’s troubling you.

Cassel: Well,, I’ve always liked you T. Can I ask you something and you have to promise that you won’t tell a single person ever for the rest of your whole life until you die?

TT: Uhh??

Cassel: My email was on the Ashley Madison hacked list.

TT: Get the fuck out of here!

Cassel: It was and I swear to Christ it wasn’t cheating or anything! I was a single guy, had just cashed a really nice paycheck and to be honest with you? Since I left USC? Have you seen the girls in Buffalo? I didn’t sign up for the cheat on your wife thing! They had this other site where there were single ( I hope) girls and they said they would do some…things if I paid them.

TT: You will not be leaving this room until I know what these things are!

[ doorfliesopen ]

Rex Ryan: How the fuck you doing boys!

Looks like our little Spanish Cassel Magic got caught with his hand in the nookie jar!

Cassel: I wanted to talk to you Coach.

Rex Ryan: That’s good goddamn hustle. Hell back in my day that’s something you would include on the family Christmas card. See that picture on my desk? That’s little Rob chasing that hooker down Bourbon Street without his diaper on. Little maniac. Oh Shit! That was last year during Mardi Gras! He was handy around the house though. He always helped out whenever Grandma would take a crap in the garden. He brought her in, washed her off with some Clorox, gave her a shot of Wild Turkey and we we’re ready to open presents!

Cassel: Coach, it was 12 years ago. I was single and unattached, I dated some girls, yeah but I never signed up for the cheating site because, that’s just wrong. I signed up for the girls who want to have sex with you while paying for your dinner and driving and paying for parking while administering oral sex and are totally single site!

Rex Ryan:

Rex Ryan: You paid for…. [rolling around laughing} What? Hell, son 95% of the straight men on the planet are standing in line along with you! You got played, son! They took your monthly account fee, what was it 50 bucks a month? And all they did was roll that back into better models for sexier advertising to draw in even more single male men who wanted nothing more than get to that sexy girl before you did! I thought you were a veteran! According to Rob there are less than 4 percent real women on that site. You were jerking off to a spam bot Cassel.

Cassel: Coach, I just..

Rex Ryan: Don’t sweat it little anal bead boy!

Cassel:?

Rex Ryan: Oh yeah mister walking on the beach after sipping mai tais, we got your whole damn dossier. Now, I’m not a stranger to “preferences” but what the hell is a Peruvian Nipple Twister? And do you have any instructions? I’m just fucking with you Grace Jones! We love you!

Cassel: Coach Please!

Rex Ryan: Don’t sweat it kid. Take a look around. You’re the most normal one here!

Cassel: You’re right Coach. Thanks! That means a lot to me.

Rex Ryan: Aw stop! I love you ya little vibrating dildo! Hey Tyrod! Start warming up! You’re our new starter!