DFO Late Night / International Open Thread (let’s not break DFO this time!)

ballsofsteelandfury -
235

Ok, seriously, no drunken peeing on the servers tonight, alright?

/eyes Horatio nervously

We’re going to try it one more time.  The first went pretty okay until the whole site shut down.

Today was an exciting day in SPROTS with international ELITE soccer, AFL, and preseason NFL games all on tap.  Results:

English Premier League

Manchester United 0 – 0 Newcastle United

Crystal Palace 2 – 1 Aston Villa

Leicester City 1 – 1 Tottenham Hotspur

Norwich City 1 – 1 Stoke City

Sunderland 1 – 1 Swansea

West Ham United 3 – 4 AFC Bournemouth

La Liga

Deportivo La Coruña 0 – 0 Real Sociedad

Español 1 – 0 Getafe

Atletico Madrid 1 – 0 Las Palmas

Rayo Vallecano 0 – 0 Valencia

AFL

Collingwood 56 – 147 Richmond

GWS Giants 44 – 133 Sydney Swans

Gold Coast 97 – 95 Essendon

St. Kilda 97 – 97 Geelong

Adelaide 131 – 44 Brisbane

NFL

Panthers 31 – 30 Dolphins

Eagles 40 – 17 Ravens

Colts 11 – 23 Bears

Giants 22 – 12 Jags

Saints 24 – 26 Patriots

Vikings X – X Raiders (in progress due to weather delay)

Texans 10 – 14 Broncos

Cardinals vs. Chargers (in progress at time of post)

Here is your komedy appetizer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oGl4Bb_f60

as an additional komedy appetizer, here is the team I drafted tonight for one of my leagues (12 team,QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, W/R, DEF, K, no PPR in case you are interested).  Mock away:

QB:  Tony Romo, Ryan Tannehill

RB: LeSean McCoy, Mark Ingram, Chris Ivory, Devonta Freeman, Darren Sproles

WR: Jordan Matthews, Charles Johnson, Marques Colston, Kendall Wright

TE:  Gronk, Ladarius Green

DEF:  Green Bay

K: Garret Hartley (PIT)

and your Slutty Saturday goodness:

 

If you want to watch more sports, the North Melbourne Kangaroos are currently facing the league-leading Fremantle Dockers while in an hour the Carlton Blues will face the Melbourne Demons and the West Coast Eagles host the Western Bulldogs.  Have at it, you monsters!  Remember, you break it, you bought it…

0 0 votes
Article Rating
ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
Subscribe
Notify of
235 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Cuntler

Greatest sports moment? Hit a home run in softball that hit a sleeping homeless guy. Doesn’t get much better than that.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Beaned the only girl in our Pony league. In the tit.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I injured the best running back in practice on one of my better tackles. For some reason the rest of the team didn’t think it was as cool as I did.

0
Porky Prime

Cuntler, I dont think that one would have ever been a Big League Chew commercial.

0
Cuntler

But maybe Juicy Fruit?

0
Porky Prime

Never could figure what fruit it was supposed to taste like.

0
Porky Prime

In high school p.e., I once made 3 consecutive hook shots from the corner of half court during one of those days where the teacher just rolled out a bunch of basketballs and disappeared.

I looked around triumphantly only to realize no one had noticed.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One night after prepartying to go out we were going into a bar; a friend of mine and two friends of his that I had just met. Up front there was a Mercedes parked at an angle taking up two spaces with the node partially in a handicap space. I picked up a piece of concrete parking block and threw it through the windshield. For some unknown reason they looked at me like I was crazy or something, especially when I wanted to go in, I mean we were already there.

*May have had some anger issues in those days.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Well, you WERE already there! Might as well have a drink. Makes sense to me.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Coke and tequila.

0
WCS

You rock a piss, I’ma rock some Mitchell.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://38.media.tumblr.com/f06ddb65abecc2de6fb6d4af09c8f7b7/tumblr_n5kltvhl811s7bkc7o1_400.gif

0
WCS

What I’m rocking out to now. I love you dickmunchers.

0
Croooow

LEAVE THE BRONX!!!

0
Porky Prime

One Halloween we got a keg for the party, picked it up at 5pm, and I decided to start early. Way too early…then my buddies showed up with Jager. Got super shitfaced by 9 when people were starting to show, including my date. Wandered out to car, passed out in backseat. My date and her friend drove me to my house, where they complained and watched movies while I sat in the bathroom. They went to get food, I told them I’d just be in there taking a shit, no rush. I dont remember the next 24 hours.

Married that girl. Ah, to be young and in love…

0
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a keeper. You’re a lucky guy.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Blues up 30 at quarter time.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

So no nipple, but balls are ok? I’m starting to see MTWV’s point.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve done all manner of drinking and drugs and never have lost where I was or blacked out for any extended period of time. It seems I have a fairly good defensive mechanism to get somewhere relatively safe to pass out or ride the storm out. Have tossed cookies very profusely in public.

0
WCS

Moose is Nick Nolte’s spirit animal.

0
Cuntler

I am the same way, except that one time I threw my shit all over the pope. Or maybe just a mailman. Who can tell?

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Drunk vandalism is the best vandalism.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Where the fuck’s Hippo? His Blues are actually winning!

0
...

/shirt flies open

That ranks high on the list of things that can fly open.

0
Porky Prime

Long, long, semi-fucked up week. What I miss?

http://media.giphy.com/media/s8lZxA5Jmempa/giphy.gif

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Apparently a considerable amount of soccer.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Roos have won it! !

0
sunrisesunrise

Woooooo hooooooo

0
Croooow

Only heard it, but that was a great ending. This means they’re locked into the playoffs, correct?

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Pretty much. They’re 2 games ahead of Geelong. They would have to lose both and have Geelong win both by a humongous margin.

I say that they’re in.

0
sunrisesunrise

After being embarrassed by Gold Coast, the Roos have rattled off 7 straight victories. As Moose’s handle indicates, The end is well nigh.

0
WCS

In the end, we all took Taco’s advice.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://38.media.tumblr.com/f52a4f514d0d4b778e4a9f3968b83aaa/tumblr_nsqmftCH4w1urr4rxo1_400.gif

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Roos up 11 with 4 minutes left.

0
Croooow

Five point game. This is going to be a great finish.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Great fucking game!

0
WCS

And, here we are.

comment image

How is yinz night going?

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://36.media.tumblr.com/fb0662ab53fe98be6800fe745da31c1b/tumblr_nqh381egTb1sjz7a3o1_1280.jpg

0
WCS

Carmela Soprano’s really let herself go.

0
WCS

I say, “Everyone, just chill.”

comment image?w=627

0
WCS

So we dailed 9-11, and got this…

http://i.imgur.com/XLKLP.gif

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwd2nxBEHC1ql4cruo1_500.gif

0
Cuntler

You must live in St. Louis.

0
Cuntler

You fuckers are boring. Most drunk you ever got. Fell asleep in Stuttgart, woke up in an parking garage in boxers in Heidelberg. Unsure of ass virginity to this day

0
Brick Meathook

Got drunk in San Francisco. Woke up in China. True story.

0
WCS

I know of someone who can relate..

http://i.imgur.com/Ls8b89g.gif

0
ballsofsteelandfury

College: The Night of Eight Pukes. Having a conversation with some people. Casually puke into cup. Continue conversation without missing a beat.

They looked at me like I was nuts.

0
Cuntler

Man I wish I knew you guys when I lived out there. I have a feeling you would’ve hated me

0
ballsofsteelandfury

I doubt it.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Saw a guy do that in NOLA.

0
...

I once vomited on my own bed while laughing hysterically.

0
makeitsnowondem

I went to a gay bar in Luxembourg where the bartender had never heard of a martini. I tried to explain it to him. Several times. Puked in a cab, got kicked out of the cab, got literally kicked by police officers at one point, was finally gotten home by a hero study abroad mate who found the last cab on the streets of Luxembourg that night.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a great story!

0
Cuntler

I barfed in a hostel in Luxembourg! Americans ARE the worst.

0
WCS

Everyone was confused. Even the Egyptian princess.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/b9caa042591813feba1fc78c72d07bca/tumblr_mkhhwopmwu1qkg5u5o3_250.gif

0
WCS

Like I said…

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbyddeSauY1r9fil7o1_500.gif

0
WCS

Things kind of got weird…

http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lg4m8qY4WN1qbqngjo1_500.gif

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=11&v=iPE7uhJrees

0
WCS

Next thing I know, he’s bringing his friends…

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m607rfgUaC1qeun5ho1_500.gif

0
WCS

So… I invited my friend over tonight. He had had a few.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbdz9c8TaB1qcxymno2_500.gif

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Roos lead!!!

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t mind if I do. Can I add sauce?

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Fox Sports 2 will be showing West Coast vs. Western live in about an hour!

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, I laughed.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/4dc181280ca09a208e3feb77382707a4/tumblr_nrcpw6e5eo1sjz7a3o1_500.jpg

0
sunrisesunrise

Roos only down 6 after 3rd.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

At three quarter time, Dockers 68, Roos 62!

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m27y9cF23Z1rtwd1fo1_500.gif

0
Brick Meathook

http://i.imgur.com/nUNXS4P.gifv

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Those lips!

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not sure how that happened.

0
Cuntler

?? > ??

0
ballsofsteelandfury

I have no idea what that means, but I like it.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Suicidal pandas are better than farting on corn?

0
Cuntler

??❤️⭐️

0
Cuntler

Making fun of Horatio. Emoticons are hard.

How’s it going guys?

0
Cuntler

Actually, that is the only time I will do that. Horatio is a lawyer in Connecticut so he can buy and sell us all.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

He is also a Cowboys fan, so….

0
ballsofsteelandfury

The Dallas Cowboys love farting on corn?

0
Cuntler

Cornblower? No? Is this thing on?

0
ballsofsteelandfury

I may have a problem. I see a puff of wind, I see farts.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

0
WCS

http://i.imgur.com/VEaHqUp.gif

Hey, Hippo, drink my swamp ass. LET’S GO BUCS.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

0
Cuntler

???

0
sunrisesunrise

Just finished packing for vacation. Going to Kauai and halfway through my trip a hurricane is possibly going to blow through. Never been though one so that should be interesting. Hoping to get a round of golf I beforehand.comment image
If I don’t make it back, hope you don’t hate the Chargers preview when it goes up.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Sweet! Enjoy the trip!

I’ve been through tropical storms on vacation before. We got a bunch of booze and rode out the night in our hotel room with a bunch of our new friends. Good times!

Then again, I was single so YMMV.

0
sunrisesunrise

My trip is with my wife, 16-month old daughter, mother in law, niece, brother- and sister-in-law. I will have plenty of alcohol for myself.

0
Cuntler

Have fun!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxdmw4tJJ1Y

0
ballsofsteelandfury

At halftime, Dockers lead the Roos by 13.

0
sunrisesunrise

Boooooo

0
ballsofsteelandfury

It’s a good thing you’re going on vacation. You may not enjoy the next few weeks….

0
sunrisesunrise

Yeah, well, that’s like your opinion man.

But damn if it isn’t pretty spot on. Can only hope for the Roos to pull out at least one of the remaining games. Might be enough to secure a spot in the finals.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

You get one win and I think you’re in.

0
Grummmmble

The all important third pre-season game is coming up, which will determine who makes the team cut, the GOP nominee, and the next Pope, at least based on the number of times commentators mentioned it tonight.

0
American Pie Story

DEEZ NUTS covers all of those bases, really.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

And don’t forget the excitement of discovering you’re fucked after finding out which player you already drafted gets a season-ending injury.

0
American Pie Story

http://40.media.tumblr.com/a3643fff025d5ad7df84207f19e92715/tumblr_ntiocfpE7L1uamiy0o2_400.jpg

This guy at the game had excellent hustle.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s great hustle, Cuntler!

0
Cuntler

Not too original
Is it?

0
ballsofsteelandfury

So, that’s not you?

0
blaxabbath

“St. Kilda 97 – 97 Geelong”

If you fucking score 97 points in anything outside of pinball, you deserve even a coin flip to determine a winner.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Donovan McNabb agrees

0
1 2