Latest posts by laserguru (see all)
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Week 3 and some faith has returned. A Vikings win over Detroit last week and now I can forget all about that fucking nightmare opener in Santa Clara. Last Sunday the Vikings did everything but disembowel Matt Stafford. Earlier this week I watched Inside the NFL which I hadn’t watched in years and it left me with a few questions: Who the fuck is the studio host? Why the fuck does Michael Irvin have a job? And why does anyone consider PHEEELL an expert at anything? Plus what the shit has he got growing on his head?
Anyway, one of the cool things about watching the show was to see the sweet, sweet NFL Films footage of the Vikings win over Detroit. Holy shit did my boys get after Stafford. They hit him on almost every drop back in the second half. No that’s not quite right, they beat the FUCK out of him on every drop back in the second half. Towards the end of the game he was a bleeding, drooling, blubbering mess trying to blame the defense, his offensive line and God knows who else for his misery. It wasn’t the frequency of the hits, it was the ferocity. The hit that Brian Robison dropped on him that probably caused his bruised/broken ribs, sternum, liver, pancreas, spleen, adenoids was a particularly gruesome thing of beauty. If they can get after the Chargers like we did against Detroit, Philip Rivers 74 kids are gonna be divvying up his life insurance policy by this time next week.
This brings us to game preview time. I seem to remember a Chargers/Vikings game back in 2007 that featured a certain beastly running back running for 296 yards and an NFL record. Goddamn I loved that game. I was doing some research on this week’s game and it turns out that the Chargers are leading? trailing? the league in most rushing yards allowed before contact. This means that once Peterson gets the ball it’s a full three plus yards before any Charger player comes into contact with him. I would consider this to be “not good” for the Chargers this week. I see a huge running day for #28 this week and a nice serviceable outing by my man Teddy Bridgewater. I expect it to be close because the Chargers can put up some damn points but between AD running the ball and our defensive line chasing after Rivers like starving pit bulls chasing after a strip steak and home field advantage? I can see the Vikings pulling out a close game, let’s call it 31-27 Minnesota.
Fish taco time!
When possible I’m going to try and do a theme for the tailgate food based on who we are playing each week, hence the San Diego/fish taco convergence. I’m starting that this week because I have no fucking clue what passes for tailgate food in Detroit. What exactly is Detroit known for as far as regional foods go? Research says it’s the “Coney” which is a fucking chili dog with onions. Christ, that’s original. Doesn’t some other city like FUCKING EVERY CITY EVER make chili dogs? Especially Cincinnati? Buncha no imagination knuckleheads. Another food “specialty” is the “Square Deep DIsh Pizza”. Really. Just, holy shit. We don’t have an identity so let’s steal the identities of Cincinnati and Chicago instead! It’s not like Chicago! See, it’s square!
Remind me to never visit Detroit.
Now San Diego has some specialties. I lived in San Diego for 5 years prior to moving to L.A. and I can tell you right now that San Diego kicks the shit out of L.A. in regards to some food items. Carne asada burritos come to mind. Pretty much any taco shop in San Diego makes better carne asada that most every place in L.A. I’m a fan of Lolita’s taco shops myself. They perfected the carne asada burrito and the carne asada fries. Look at this!
Great goddamn! After a bar crawl everyone in San Diego heads to their local taco shop and drops this monstrous gut bomb on themselves at 2:00 in the morning. It’s delightful but oh dear God are you going to pay the price when you wake up. One thing I can’t recommend is the “California Burrito” which is a carne asada burrito with french fries. Don’t do this. We aren’t trying to turn this into a fucking Primanti Brothers sandwich fer chrise sake. You know what San Diego also makes? Chili dogs and pizza! It’s true!
Fish tacos are especially good in San Diego because of it’s proximity to the ocean. The origin of the fish taco is obviously Baja California but the first I heard of it stateside was at Rubio’s in San Diego. Yes there are a million Rubio’s now but the original stores were great. It’s a simple, clean, light meal and very easy to do. They are a perfect tailgate item because it doesn’t take long to marinate and you can bring the side items with you. Let’s do it.
2 pounds of white flaky fish like cod, halibut or mahi-mahi
1 tablespoon of olive oil
1 tablespoon of chili powder
1 teaspoon of cumin
4 cloves of garlic minced
tortillas – flour or corn.
Shredded green cabbage.
Marinated red onion (recipe below)* optional
Some crema or cotija cheese if desired
chipotle cream sauce (recipe below) * also optional
Pico de gallo or your favorite salsa
Metric shit tons of beer.
Get your charcoal grill started. Cut your fish into large chunks and squeeze two limes worth of juice over the top. Combine the rest of the ingredients into a bowl and mix. Drizzle this over the top of the fish. You only need to marinate for 15-20 minutes, any longer and the fish will break apart too easily. Lube up your grill well because this stuff will stick. Today I’m grilling a few shrimp first to help keep the fish from sticking. Add some olive oil to the shrimp and you can cook the fish afterwards, no you won’t need the habanero salsa. Grill the fish for about 3-4 minutes on the first side, flip it over and cook for a minute to a minute in a half on the other side. Grill the tortillas a few seconds per side and you are ready to assemble. I ain’t gonna tell you how to make a fucking taco at this point in your life, that’s a life skill you should have mastered by now.
Marinated red onion
1/2 red onion sliced really thin
red wine vinegar to cover.
little squeeze of fresh lime
That’s it. Let the onion marinate over night in the vinegar and lime. Serve on top of the fish taco.
Chipotle cream sauce.
1/2 cup of mayo
squeeze of lime
a little lime zest
2 chipotles in adobo.
salt and pepper to taste.
Combine ingredients in blender and blend until smooth. Use this as a condiment on the tacos. I’ve seen people make this and put it into a squirt bottle for tailgates.
Since it’s going to be hot as fuck when I grill these I’m going to again purchase some beans and chips and salsa from my favorite Mexican food place so I don’t have to heat up the house.
Assemble your taco with your choice of the listed toppings, yes you can even add some guac or some fresh avocado if you wanted but I ain’t a fan so I will not endorse it, crack open many icy cold beverages, these go great with a basic lager or a nice Mexican lager like Modello or Dos Equis Amber. As far as Corona goes? The poet laureate Marilyn Manson said it best: “I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers” in relation to Corona. Fuck that skunky ass headache inducing shit. God it makes my stomach churn just thinking about it. But I digress.
In summary, eat a bunch of tacos, have a side of some beans and some chips and salsa and enjoy life. It’s light, reasonably healthy and it will make you feel less guilty about pounding down the 15 beers that you will consume before the day is over.
Enjoy and may this be a glorious football Sunday for you this week.