Your Bacon And Egger Early Morning Game Post

[in the voice of Sir David Attenborough, noted documentarian]

“Here we see the common North American football fan in its lair. Sprawled amongst the bedsheets, it has had a mostly pleasant evening. Recent advances in the field of Dreamology indicate that the visions it has during the night consist primarily of unprotected and consequence-free sex with friend’s wives/husbands, teachers from high school, co-workers, waitresses, bus drivers, hobos, major political figures, deli clerks, people that held the door open, hair dressers, folks at the gym and individuals that have the STOP/SLOW sign at construction sites. There may be others but this area of Dreamology is getting bogged down in details to be honest. As it rises to face a new day it yawns and performs the ritualistic ‘vigorous scratching of the hind quarters’ and of course it must mark its porcelain territory as well.” [to be continued]

NYJ @ Mia: Miami has the home field advantage over in London but Ivory and Revis are back so that should even things out a bit. The Fins D has made Fitz-type (mediocre) QB’s look good. Tyrod and Bortles averaged a 92 QBR in their games against Miami. There’s talk already on fan sites that things are spinning out of control under Philbin. This implies that they were in a controlled spin before the season started which sounds about right. Seriously, a loss here will go quite far in determining how quickly/long they will #occupyAFCEastbasement. Across the field/ocean there’s plenty of huzzahs for Mr. Bowles who has applied a steady hand to the team in general and the D specifically. This sure looks like a sloppy romp by the Jets, doesn’t it?

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John Difool

There hasn’t been a bomb in London like this since the IRA was in town.

Horatio Cornblower

I wear my knee pads on my shins, for extra protection.

King Hippo

Having brown rice for brunch!

/don’t be all jelly

packman_jon

Are you wearing pants?

Smithchez

Yaaaaaaay more unnecessary injuries and penalties.

entropy

I love when a flag is thrown and there’s no replay; it’s the NFL equivalent of NBA playoff officiating.

Senor Weaselo

If they lose this game, how many laps will Bowles make them do? After making them run all the way across the Atlantic, of course.

bourb0nblues

BackDraft Kings – the one where we kill it with fire

Horatio Cornblower

Why can’t I get my overly salted, high fat, high cholesterol breakfast at McDonald’s all the time?

BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE A FUCKING WAR CRIME!!!!

blackroseMD1

They’re pilot testing all day breakfast here in San Diego…and now I want a damn McGriddle and hash browns.

Smithchez

“Why the fuck would we keep trying on offense? Nobody’s ever scored more than 27 points.”

Horatio Cornblower

I see the Jets are playing the prevent special teams coverage as well.

That’s a bold move Cotton. Let’s see how it plays out.

Senor Weaselo

The Jets special teams are just that.

King Hippo

Jets self-awareness…returning…

entropy

“Alex Smith doing his part,” I.e., not fucking up so badly the Chiefs are out of every game.

Spur

The real fear is that the dolphins score once more keeping Philbin alive one more week

Lothar of the Hill People

Why the fuck does CBS have an Australian guy doing the intro/outro promo voiceover for the London game?

packman_jon

Shhhh, don’t tell them
http://i.imgur.com/xs2Dbhu.gif

Smithchez

There’s a difference?

packman_jon

Hey it’s okay if the Dolphins lose
comment image

entropy

We can’t get Limey announcers, but we can get a Limey shill for the advertisers?,

Spur
John Difool

Of course the only guy in Wembley stadium wearing a [*Redacted] s get-up would have to be a gimp.

King Hippo

HEY, a British option for future Herr Doktor Zymm!!

makeitsnowondem

A comeback with a missed extra point feels right for this game.

laserguru

I just figured out what’s going to get me up and moving today. An egg and cheese breakfast sandwich.
Holy shit that sounds delicious.
Alright alright I’m getting up.

Spanky Datass

I had bacon, fried egg (runny yolk), sharp cheddar on a toasted (in bacon grease) wheat burger bun. I am happy.

laserguru

That sounds great.
I’m going to soft scramble a couple of eggs add in some sharp cheddar and put it between some toasted rye bread.

laserguru

Fa loves Pa.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey if they kick a soccer ball into the stands in a Premier League game does the fan get to keep it?

Specifically this one…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IXJsjW156U

Senor Weaselo

I’d say he deserves it, but I think he’s dead.

Horatio Cornblower

It was a 5 year old girl and apparently she was fine. Even got a signed shirt from the guy that kicked the ball.

No word on whether or not Peter King tried to steal the shirt.

...

The most appropriate Twitter trend ever:

Trends · Change
Dolphins
Rare Blind Dolphins Have a Reason to Hope
81.3K Tweets about this trend

THEY HAVE A REASON TO HOPE, YOU GUYS

entropy

They said blind, not incompetent.

Senor Weaselo

I may have spoken too soon.

Smithchez

So Antonio Cromartie kind of sucks.

Spur

Does every LSU WR have some odd hair face ?

Smithchez

Jets going with the rarely seen prevent offense AND prevent defense

entropy

“Break AND bend.”

entropy

A benefit for Fitzpatrick is having Chan Gailey as Offensive Coordinator.

There are so many things wrong with that statement I don’t even know where to start.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

One of these days, announcers will give Brandon Marshall credit for making QBs look competent.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which one?

Spur

is this the first time they talked about Geno getting punched?

Senor Weaselo

I finally decided to come down from my tower because hopefully even the Jets can’t fuck this up and have me jinx it by coming downstairs to watch. But seriously, who are these guys and what have they done with my New York Jets?

/Also had to change pick’em stuff after learning Hodor’s out

Horatio Cornblower

The last time I saw ivory hit that hard 32 elephants were slaughtered by Sudanese guerillas.

Lothar of the Hill People

+1 Konys (Konies?)

Smithchez
Lothar of the Hill People

This is my new favorite image on the internet that doesn’t show nipples.

entropy

The Dolphins might want to practice this new “tackling” concept the NFL has introduced….

Smithchez

FEEL THE FITZMAGIC

King Hippo

BLOODSUGARFITZMAGIC

The Mighty Feklahr

“ICE T ‏@FINALLEVEL 2m2 minutes ago

If you wanna learn about the Streets.. You gotta listen to someones who’s done it all. Money,Shoot Outs, Penitentiary. Not NEW to the game..”

I think he means Michael Vick.

John Difool

He must be talking about his stint on Law & Order: SVU

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure who put up the link to that 1989 Aerostar van twitter account but it’s fucking hilarious. Almost as funny as the Dolphins’ blocking scheme.

comment image

...

For an oddly narrow theme, he sure gets a lot of mileage out of it.

packman_jon

That would be me.

$300.

Lothar of the Hill People

So THAT’s what happened to Sammy Hagar!

https://twitter.com/Aerostars4Sale/status/650446505459978240

blackroseMD1

Now that’s a job I feel I can at least halfway do…

http://i.imgur.com/0AdNOve.png

Spur

Don’t know if Yahoo will be able to handle 20 people trying to stream a Jaguars game at once.

entropy

THe NFL offices are gonna make that many people work on a Sunday morning?

Smithchez

At the end of the third quarter it’s imaginary competent Jets 51, real Jets 27, Dolphins 7.

Col. Duke LaCross

Maybe it’s because it’s early as hell, but is anyone else tripped out by CBS digitally painting in the team names in the endzones?

packman_jon

I’m tripped out, but that’s because of the drugs

Horatio Cornblower

That’s not why I’m tripped out.

blackroseMD1

Oh look, the NFL is going to live stream the Bills murdering the Jags on Yahoo.

entropy

It’s the Jaguars. “Assisted Suicide” at worst.

entropy

Buffalo vs Jacksonville on Oct 25.

May as well state NFL declares War on UK NFL Fans.

Spur
John Difool

Buffalo vs. Jacksonville: Why does the NFL love to hate-fuck London so much?

Dick E. Phuck

LOLphins.

Smithchez

This is exactly the level of NFL excellence Londoners have become accustomed to.

Sharkbait

Based on the quality of this game, are we sure it’s not Thursday in London right now?

entropy

Incoherent rage-fueled rant against that bullshit call right here.

Side note: fuck you, Tannehill. Sadly you paid for that non-call.