Your Bacon And Egger Early Morning Game Post

[in the voice of Sir David Attenborough, noted documentarian]

“Here we see the common North American football fan in its lair. Sprawled amongst the bedsheets, it has had a mostly pleasant evening. Recent advances in the field of Dreamology indicate that the visions it has during the night consist primarily of unprotected and consequence-free sex with friend’s wives/husbands, teachers from high school, co-workers, waitresses, bus drivers, hobos, major political figures, deli clerks, people that held the door open, hair dressers, folks at the gym and individuals that have the STOP/SLOW sign at construction sites. There may be others but this area of Dreamology is getting bogged down in details to be honest. As it rises to face a new day it yawns and performs the ritualistic ‘vigorous scratching of the hind quarters’ and of course it must mark its porcelain territory as well.” [to be continued]

NYJ @ Mia: Miami has the home field advantage over in London but Ivory and Revis are back so that should even things out a bit. The Fins D has made Fitz-type (mediocre) QB’s look good. Tyrod and Bortles averaged a 92 QBR in their games against Miami. There’s talk already on fan sites that things are spinning out of control under Philbin. This implies that they were in a controlled spin before the season started which sounds about right. Seriously, a loss here will go quite far in determining how quickly/long they will #occupyAFCEastbasement. Across the field/ocean there’s plenty of huzzahs for Mr. Bowles who has applied a steady hand to the team in general and the D specifically. This sure looks like a sloppy romp by the Jets, doesn’t it?

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packman_jon

Indy versus Houston? LOLNOPE.

Senor Weaselo

Well that was pretty Jetsy right there too. Even if nothing too bad happened.

Smithchez

That’s right, Jets, just keep herping and derping your way to the end of the game.

blackroseMD1

Well, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen Dolphins kicked directly in the dick.

Hopefully that means this game is almost over.

Horatio Cornblower

Christ this is going to interfere with the 1 pm games isn’t it?

Smithchez

Nobody gives a shit what Mike Carey or Mike Pereirra have to say. Why the fuck do CBS and FOX think differently?

Senor Weaselo

And… exhale.

entropy

Lookit the NFL getting a call right!

John Difool

“I haven’t seen ivory get dropped like that since the last time I was in the prison shower”

-Jerry Sandusky

Col. Duke LaCross

Yeeeesh

entropy

I believe my new neighbors are being introduced to something I like to call “enraged entropy.” I’m a lot less fun when I’m shouting at the top of my lungs at shit I cannot control.

packman_jon

+dS/dt

Redshirt

This game is still going on?

packman_jon

IT JUST WON’T END

Smithchez

Good thing the defense is well rested!

Oh

Senor Weaselo

The Jets see the Dolphins’ herp and counter with derp.

Smithchez

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Sharkbait

Do the Jets not want to win this game?

packman_jon

holy balls

Senor Weaselo

Wait, a penalty for arguing for the referee? Shouldn’t that be every incompletion by Tom Brady?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Never gets old.

blackroseMD1

Oh, that is the most Dolphins thing I’ve ever seen.

entropy

FUCK YES.

Senor Weaselo

REVISCEPTION

Smithchez

100% chance for another 4th down bullshit flag

Senor Weaselo

Zero feet in bounds but I was surprised that wasn’t a PI.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Ryan Tannehill:
comment image

entropy

I was waiting for the flag on that, and even though he was out of bounds, I still expect it.

packman_jon

JJ Watt didn’t have a sack last week? Ha. Ha. BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA.

Smithchez

“The pick play is only legal in New England.”

entropy

*for* New England. They are allowed to do it everywhere.

King Hippo

Dolphins turn to Jets.

Horatio Cornblower

The holding replay was as technically refined as the Zapruder film.

entropy

But the announcers sure tried to sell it.

Smithchez

Jesus fucking Christ with these flags. Just give them the goddamn points if you want them to score so badly.

Senor Weaselo

“If we give them all the plays to score on, that kills the clock.” -Jets defense

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The New York Jets: We jets more before noon than most people jets all day.

Senor Weaselo

It’s afternoon on the east coast, so it makes sense I guess. They just had to wake up.

Senor Weaselo

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Ah shit man.

Sharkbait

Make it Rishard Matthews you fuck.

John Difool

comment image

packman_jon

“That human was asking for it”

Horatio Cornblower

“Did you see how he was dressed? Nothing but a bathing suit!”

King Hippo

Lamar Miller: “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.”

blackroseMD1

“Known as The Hitman…”

Bret Hart plays for the Jets now?

Odds that Tannehill ends up in the sharpshooter?

...

I’d say his wife is more of a spray and pray sort of gunman.

bourb0nblues

The London Screwjob

Horatio Cornblower

Since the game’s in London will we have injury time added? Because if so this game will never end.

packman_jon

We get MOAR ADS

...

They should, however, have a running clock.

Lothar of the Hill People

James Jones being interviewed on Fox about coming back to Green Bay, and he says, “we’re even living in the same neighborhood [as before]>

Uhh, yeah. It’s Green Bay. All the black families live in the same neighborhood. Because all the black families are Packers players.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s not even racism; there is literally ONE neighborhood in all of Green Bay!

packman_jon

ppl forget that,,imo

Senor Weaselo

Can we not injure the entire defense? Kthanks.

Sharkbait

Needs more sad injury music.

Smithchez

MOAR INJURIES

/puts shotgun in mouth

makeitsnowondem

Tannehill throwing deep is like the opposite of the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

entropy

The I-10 Underpass Graffitti?

entropy

Cromartie lost…. Well, shit, everything in the sun. Receiver, ball, two kids….

King Hippo

Perhaps the Brits will be in for a cracker finish?