The Nine Circles of Leasts – Week 4

Duchess
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Crank that music up!!!

It’s Time!!!

First Circle (Limbo) – Most injuries happen before the game even starts, yet we have been blessed to see so many players go down during them (phrasing!). Andrew Luck and Marshawn Lynch both sat out last week to heal some nagging injuries killing anyone playing them in Fantasy Football while in “set it and forget it” mode (But do they blend?)

Second Circle (Lust) – Cowboy schadenfreude – We are on the verge of probably watching the Giants win the NFC East by default. (and eventually the NFC East was won by, oh, let’s say…the Giants)

Third Circle (Gluttony) – Dolphins and Eagles – They do know that the talking heads in August are full of shit and not soothsayers? (This is not my beautiful Quarterback, this is not my beautiful season) They do realize they actually have to play games and not just jump into the offseason because some blogger said they would do well? (Says the guy who thought the Bears could win 10 games)

Fourth Circle (Greed) – Dolphins QB Ryan Tannehill is a douchebag after the first team Dolphins got man handled by practice squad members “Enjoy your practice squad paycheck, enjoy your practice squad trophy.” (Tannehill makes Manziel look like AtM’s Wayne Brady)

Fifth Circle (Anger) – Kickers… and people talking about kickers. Number one and two tweets this weekend fell into  “This was the worst week in kicking ever” or “Hello 2012 season called they wanted their kickers back”

Sixth Circle (Heresy) – Calling the Seahawks legitimate contenders. They have failed upwards to get a win streak of 2 games against the bottom of the barrel NFC North teams. (You’d think they were coached by Lane Kiffen and Mel Tucker… Roll Tide!)

Seventh Circle (Violence) – Me –  When I look down at the amount of time I spent writing this up and realize I spent more time talking about the Eagles than they spent on offense this week. (A time of possession of 18min 53 Seconds would still make your girlfriend jealous.)

Eighth Circle (Fraud) – Sunday Night Football… Sunday is the new Thursday apparently that game was atrocious. (Sun Down, Fun Down Football)

Ninth Circle (Treachory) – Goodell

Fast Facts: Quarterbacks who are making the Bears look SMRT for keeping Cutler; Jameis Winston, Ryan Mallett, Ryan Tannehill, Teddy Bridgewater, Joe Flacco, Colin Kaepernick.

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DuchessWakezillaDon Tballsofsteelandfurymonty this seems strange to me Recent comment authors
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Don T

I didn’t have any reason to hate Tannehill before now. As every damn Dolfan I’ve met personally is a damn asshole, I’m grateful. Good to see you back.

Wakezilla

Hey now. I’m more of a dick than an asshole.

ballsofsteelandfury

I do love these so much. Glad to see you back in the saddle again!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cade McNown, Moses Moreno, Steve Stenstrom et al weren’t enough?

Doktor Zymm

Despite division rival status, I sorta bless a Giants playoff, due to their Patriotkryptonite powers.

monty this seems strange to me

I thought the Mets won the NFC East.

nomonkeyfun

Welcome back Duchess,

7th Circle, My girlfriend wishes she had 18.53 seconds.

Doesn’t have girlfriend.
Wonders why.

As warning, I will only be speaking about El Beisbol in the evenings, hopefully for the next month until the Mets win the series.

PS. If that happens, you will hear some story about Nomonkey being arrested for some drunken related, apparent crime. You know, like public nudity, or masturbation.

WCS

“(Tannehill makes Manziel look like AtM’s Wayne Brady)”

http://i.imgur.com/W1CKfRx.gif

King Hippo

HUZZAH!!! He’s back! ONE OF US!!! ONE OF US!!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Very happy to have you back, Duchess.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“De. Fault. The two sweetest words in the English language! I…oh.”

– Warren Sapp

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

There wasn’t even a blood moon to blame for the Sunday night game this week.