A Sacrifice Must be Made

[Trouble is brewing in the Temple of Tripping. High Priest Blandino calls an emergency meeting of the Cult of Beergh.]

Quiet Brothers, please, quiet. The dark circumstances that bring us together today cannot be ignored, but we must first pay homage to Beergh, God of Flags, Lord of Penalties. Hail Beergh!

HAIL BEERGH!

Today is a disgraceful day, Brothers. Today I had to speak to the heretics above and explain why a flag was not thrown in last night’s Seahawks-Lions game. You heard me correctly, A FLAG WAS NOT THROWN! Beergh, in His infinite wisdom, has crafted a holy rule book full of sacred infractions fit to honor His name. One such is the illegal batting of a ball in the end zone.  It is your hallowed duty to throw a flag should such a situation occur! The holy flag must be issued! Flags for the Flag God!

FLAGS FOR THE FLAG GOD!

This was not the case Monday night. The fact that the Seahawks ended up winning yet another game because of a blown call is irrelevant! The far more serious issue is one of our Brothers’ failure in his sacred duty! BRING THE OFFENDER FORWARD!

[Back Judge Gregory Wilson is brought forward in the iron grip of Acolyte Hochuli. He is stripped of his yellow robes and chained to a sacrificial cage]

Brother Wilson, can you defend yourself? What’s that? You didn’t see the play in question? Is that so?

[Blandino pours a vial of Lions fans tears into a nearby brazier of flames. A wavering image appears in the smoke.]

LIAR! Brothers, as we know, one of Beergh’s Blessings upon us is a sacred whistle that grows within our hearts. INFIDEL Wilson is no longer worthy of it! Beergh demands it back! Penalties for the Penalty Throne!

PENALTIES FOR THE PENALTY THRONE!

[Blandino plunges his hand into Wilson’s chest and rips forth his still beating heart, sacred Whistle of Beergh still attached. Wilson howls in terror as he realizes he still lives.]

Flags for the Flag God!

FLAGS FOR THE FLAG GOD!