Thar be some quality college/NBA and hockey games on tonight starring UConn, Duke, the Cavaliers, the Penguins, the Blackhawks and etc. But tonight I’m not here to talk about the sports that I just talked about.
You see, there’s this thing, this cancer that worms its way into the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday dinners. No, it’s not your in-laws. It’s not your family either (in this one circumstance). What is it? GODDAMN CRANBERRIES! It’s a mouth-puckering abomination that need’nt be a part of any self-respecting get-together. Why? Why is this dysfunctional berry a part of any celebration? I’ll bet you’ll say to me, “oh, it’s not that tart”. By the way, thanks for interrupting but, whatever-I’ll indulge you. It’s not tart because a shit-ton of sugar was added to make it 13% more palatable. If it’s that great let me ask you-when was the last time you tucked into a delicious cranberry pie? Oh! Did I hear you say “never”? I’m sure that’s just an “oversight” on your part. I’m sure you’ll correct it quite soon. Cranberries/cranberry sauce is the holiday default equivalent of the parental “Because I told you so!”. You grew up with it and thought it was normal-just like the Bible, acid-washed jeans, Windows 3.0, calling certain people “retarded”, urinary tract infections, the inherent goodness of Bill Cosby and a belief in justice . All those things you’ve since discarded (one sincerely hopes). Move on with your life. There is nothing good about the cranberry.
I’ve had a turkey sandwich with cranberry relish, and then another roast turkey dish with a cranberry chutney. Both were delicious, but both were the only times I’ve ever had cranberries with meat and it wasn’t horrible.
Thing I learned from Colbert: the cranberry grower industry is why there isn’t an “added sugar” line on food nutrition labels. They argue that since they HAVE to add sugar to make their product edible, they shouldn’t be stigmatized by saying they added sugar to it.
John Oliver.
http://www.upworthy.com/john-oliver-just-started-show-us-your-peanuts-to-call-out-a-massively-shady-industry-sign-me-up
I like cranberry. But yeah, my two best Thanksgivings did not have any.
Oh, glad you asked:
2. Albany, NY – a Lit. professor invites some of us students. Instead of turkey, she makes a medieval feast per several works of the time (cornish hens, lotsa fruits, some nuts; not a potato or yam in sight). I asked for a scotch on the rocks and the prof’s husband brought me a glass neat and another filled with ice. He told me: “That’s been aging for 15 years. If you put ice on it, finish your drink and leave.”
1. Old San Juan – My wife of several months and I spend about $130 worth of Chinese food and booze; do not leave the apt. or call anyone until Saturday.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Oh Scarlett, pushaw!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhzmNRtIp8k
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Olivia Wilde in Year One. ‘Nuff said.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/f702242139d9d02760af812ffbb2567f/tumblr_ny7088eG5M1qbogbgo1_1280.jpg
I like apples slice, and I like cake!
http://41.media.tumblr.com/8c0ff51c2dccbf87aff621e21ec7ee5c/tumblr_nybuf1FzC31uei62xo1_1280.jpg
https://vine.co/v/OEATgJ5wxPM
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Well fuck, missed that one.
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He-Man was a bitch, anyway.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sjc2KwhlrtA
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GREAT fucking thread, peeps!!
http://40.media.tumblr.com/ee9475398ae8edc756bc55da94d5f24d/tumblr_ny1otwQ3YJ1qazbepo1_1280.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLt18wjcfkI
http://45.media.tumblr.com/6fc2636c2dc8da4d00a5873b93d13d88/tumblr_nv325d6ExR1s39yzeo1_r1_500.gif
Thanks, Moose. Seriously. Watching video of waves calms me down and makes me happy. Even seeing this little clip has made me a little happier today. Thanks.
Me too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=UUOYKMmyHJD5W46t5DvWsJTQ&v=KxQZQ86jJHg
http://49.media.tumblr.com/a86c344982e1680092c797009fa7b8b2/tumblr_nyckm68C7Z1uewx7xo1_400.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=UUOYKMmyHJD5W46t5DvWsJTQ&v=E7iXpTJk15s
http://40.media.tumblr.com/a5283d0988f9f9a55d4384febc4bce38/tumblr_nvbw11fTlv1u26x2oo1_500.jpg
ANDY WILLIAMS!!?
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mazlxnJYg31qh59n0o6_r1_500.png
You can mute it like I did. The video is the important thing.
Andy had a great voice; to bad he didn’t use it for some other types of music.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdsnrjnqf01qaxlweo1_500.jpg
Don’t wait. DO IT NOW!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10WgCJKSJhI
You’re the man.