JV NFL Preview – Food Coma Recovery Friday Special Edition

I trust that everyone enjoyed their NFL heroin and their food comas, yes? And now tis time to recover, with our leftovers, shame, and sweet JV action. WOO!!!

Miami at Pitt (Noon, ESPN2)

This game could have meant something, had only the Castrated Turkeys not lived up to their name in overtime last weekend. SIGH. Still, gotta watch somethin’ – and laughing at Da U is always kinda fun.

Navy at Houston (Noon, ABC)

Rarely will you get to see a game between two 1-A teams with a combined record of 19-2 that absolutely positively nobody believes to be any good. That alone piques my interest.

Missouri at Arkansas (2:30, CBS)

Pig Sooey stubbed its toe last week, and needs a win for a decent bowl bid. Mizzou, which has been playing out the string since the calendar flipped to October, needs a road win to get a bowl bid of any varietal.

Washington State at Washington (3:30, Fox)

For a change, it’s the COUGARS who are the good team looking to avoid the road upset in the Apple Cup. I like rivalry games with fun nicknames like that. The Huskies, like Mizzou, are playing for bowl eligibility, and haven’t at least as obviously packed things in. But Leach’s charges have quietly become one of the more watchable teams in the country, from my late night DVR adventures.

Iowa at Nebraska (3:30, ABC)

The Cornhuskers will try to get a referee-aided home upset, like they did against Sparty. Iowa is sort of the opposite of Wazzu, I can’t watch them play more than 90 seconds or so before I change the channel. Again, Nebraska wins or stays home for the Festivus season.

Baylor at TCU (7:30, ESPN)

This game looked like it would be one for the ages, then it looked to be totally inconsequential, then after last week it looks like it might be fun again. BayBay has a shot at the playoffs with a convincing win, provided that Boomer Sooner loses tomorrow. They are down to their 3rd QB, but it seems that any old hobo can step right in and put up video game numbers there. MUST BE FUCKING NICE. Bloodeyes damned near pulled off the unlikeliest comeback of the season in Norman, and after BayBay ruined their season in Waco last year, I’m sure they will be up to repay the favor.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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WCS

YOU GET A TURNOVER! AND YOU GET A TURNOVER! AND YOU GET A TURNOVER!

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Leave it!!!!

WCS

There’s a disturbing amount of “defense” in this Baylor-TCU contest.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I do find the defense rather offensive. Do that countz?

WCS

For a 0-0 game late in the second, Ice Stillers-Ice Buckeyes has been very entertaining.

WCS

Sweet Mother of Fuck, Twitter is a cesspool.

The amount of mouthbreathers and inanity is as astonishing as it nauseating.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite????

WCS

OSU turns it over on downs, Nike takes over up 52-42.

That’s probably it.

Senor Weaselo

But it is Oregon so they could run a 3 and out in 30 seconds.

entropy

He liked me quite a bit, that’s true.

WCS

So, uh, the Civil War between Oregon and Oregon State is now 45-42, Nike.

Nike led 31-7 at the half.

It’s on FS1.

Croooow

I have a friend who went to Oregon State, so I’m rooting hard for them to pull off this upset.

Croooow

Damn.

theeWeeBabySeamus

ESPN3 screwing with me.
Shoulda known.

scotchnaut

What’s left of North By Northwest on TCM!

Horatio Cornblower

Holy Christ my wife is watching TLC and I cannot believe the shit that they air.

WCS

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Senor Weaselo

Krieger did a good.

Croooow

Whew. That should do it. Great game.

Old School Zero

Damn good game. Hawk Guys gonna need a stronger offense if they want to win the B1G0 championship, though.

Croooow

I agree. Plus, the Big Ten East winner probably isn’t going to turn it over that many times to bail them out.
Still, they won and it’s always a great day when Nebraska loses.

Croooow

Wow, almost a 5th.

Senor Weaselo

Cornderp and that should do it.

Old School Zero

Last time I cornderped I ran out of butter halfway through, and explaining everything to the ER nurse was a fun time.

Senor Weaselo

Who told you to buttchug solid foods?

Old School Zero

I LEARNED IT FROM YOU!

Spanky Datass
scotchnaut

Made a cut-rate pho for wifey and bolognese for the boys.

/do you have that internal counter for the alcohol that you know you shouldn’t trespass?
//I’m trespassing right now

Spanky Datass

“…cut-rate Pho…” Oh the possibilities, the amazing possibilities. Sounds a lot like my “Clean out the cabinets and fridge stew”.

Croooow

Wow, helluva stop on short yardage for Iowa.

Old School Zero

GO HAWK GUYS!

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Croooow

Kinda fortunate. That was a horrendous playcall on 4th and 1.

Senor Weaselo

So CJ Beathard’s a surefire NFL star just from the name, right?

Croooow

Dan Snyder’s first round draft pick.

makeitsnowondem

In Houston (well, Katy) for sister’s engagement party. TV stuck on CNN. Send help.

WCS

Mmmmm, codeine juice…

It tastes like complete ass, but, damn will it get you buzzed.

entropy

Phrases overheard at the bar within 10 minutes:

“Hey, honey, did you like that glory hole movie today?”

“Did you see my mom? She was on her way to puke in the bathroom.”

This was an excellent decision.

Old School Zero

From my brother scanning a reddit live thread: “Tommy Armpunt”

Senor Weaselo

Isn’t he another one of Dirk Hardpec’s names?

Croooow

How in the hell did he catch that?!

Old School Zero

Probably felt it bounce off his cup and just reacted.

WCS

GRIT

Old School Zero

I stand corrected.

Senor Weaselo

What’s the over-under for Baylor-TCU, by any chance?

WCS

Whatever it is, take the under. Baylor’s on it’s third quarterback, TCU their second. It’s also pouring and windy in Ft. Worth.

Croooow

I got TCU winning 126-123.

Spanky Datass

Opened at 80, the avg. now is 73.

entropy

It was so Damn lovely out today I went for a nice, long walk and discovered I was near my town’s tree lighting ceremony. 63 degrees. Nov 27th, PA. Nothing wrong with that, no.

I have decided to stop at a bar on the way home, because I fucking well deserve it.

Old School Zero

You fucking well do. Nicely done.

WCS

Fek is somewhere chugging moonshine, snorting crushed Percocets, and firing photon torpedoes at random grain silos.

Senor Weaselo

That’s because it’s Friday and it’s almost 5:00 local time, right?

Croooow

Holy Shit. Yuuuuuge TD run for Iowa.

Old School Zero

That field was as open as a waffle house.

Spanky Datass

Nebraska’s gritty wide-out has a glooooorious pornstache and wears bicep scrunchies.

Old School Zero

So he’s now Jim Tomsula’s top pick?

Spanky Datass
blackroseMD1

Announcer in Hogs/Mizzou: “We see Arkansas having trouble putting away this Missouri team here in the 4th Quarter.”

It’s 28-3 with 3 minutes left.

WCS

Washington Huskies with a pick-six.

Craig James’ kid is going to be in some trouble.

Croooow

Nebraska derp.

Old School Zero

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scotchnaut

Have you ever been in a place where your team-the team that you know so well-exceeded your expectations by such a wide margin that it caused you to re-think what they are capable of? Me neither.

theeWeeBabySeamus

32 years ago.
NC State, dude.

Been paying for that shit ever since.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow…that’s even more depressing than I thought.

Old School Zero

Once or twice, early in the season, and then they regressed back to normal.

Iowa’s sort of done that this season, though their are questions about their schedule.

Croooow

It’s a legitimate criticism. Pretty fortunate they got to avoid Michigan, Michigan State and Ohio State in the regular season.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Schedule, schmedule.
Just win baby.

WCS

2007 West Virginia Mountaineers football team

13-9. That is all.

blackroseMD1

Arkansas every October and November these days.

Old School Zero

Fuck you Nate Gerry. Get off the field dickbag.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice W for ‘Cuse.

blackroseMD1

Mmm…leftovers…

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WCS

Don’t fool yourself, Blacky. If a cow ever got the chance, it’d you and everyone you care about.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m753u1J1NX1rxm6exo1_1280.png

theeWeeBabySeamus

BeeTeeDub…
Drinking and ESPN3 has won out. Freezer Vodka, which was replenished earlier today, has been compromised.

Now, as long as ESPN3 doesn’t go all batshit on me, it will be a good night, win or lose.

But yeah…win just to be safe wolven fuckers.

scotchnaut

Yelling at the top of my lungs in an empty house is oddly comforting…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite??????

scotchnaut

Wish it was my house…

Croooow

So, I see LSU is running Les Miles out of town. A guy with a 110-32 record.
I’d give it about two minutes before he’s employed again.

blackroseMD1

Apparently a three game losing streak is a death sentence in Baton Rouge.

In Arkansas, we call that “September”.

WCS

$50 Illinois gives him the entire state education budget to be the next Illini coach.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Isn’t $50 the entire state education budget?

Old School Zero
scotchnaut

Silent G with the 3!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m so jelly every time I see other teams with big men who hit FTs.
*sigh*

scotchnaut

Jay Bilas and Tyler Lydon sitting in a tree-K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, here comes fellow white-player-love in a baby carriage!

theeWeeBabySeamus

U OK DUDE?

scotchnaut

Uh, no. Why do you ask?

theeWeeBabySeamus

No reason.

/sneaks out back door

WCS

Claymation Lily is the stuff of fever dreams and bad trips.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed. They didn’t even stay true to the luscious ass/thigh proportions.
I mean WTF????

scotchnaut

[obligatory shot of white guys at the end of the bench celebrating]

Croooow

Double Major Iowa derp. Ferentz was flagged.
And it leads to a Nebraska score.