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Instant Hippo Thoughts – Bonus Thanksgiving Edition

King Hippo

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Oh glory of glories, to bear witness to a full Thursday of turkey day footy. SO MUCH NFC EAST to digest. No wonder we can’t poop, and they go around blaming that poor, sweet, innocent 6-foot opioid…

The Iggles MUST be trying to get Chip Kelly fired, right? I mean, they have lost back-to-back games to Jameis Winston and Matt Stafford by a combined score of 90-31. How is that even possible? The Lions have now won three games in a row, which makes about as much sense as the continued Vegas skepticism of the road team in the middle game…

People keep asking Pheeeel if they should take the Panthers seriously? Shit, even that asshole knows that’s a stupid question. Greg Hardy and his new “palz” now understand, as well. Three Robonobyl incidents in the first half led to a 23-3 Panthers lead (that easily could and should have been a bigger margin), and Dallas never was remotely in the ballgame. Princeton Red kept his fragile goofball in the game, and down 30-6 in the 4th quarter…he died again. Same left clavicle and everything. On a sack. Queue up the old saying about book smarts not always translating to common sense. Dez and his fragile foot stayed in for every last second of CasselVANIA garbage time, so there wasn’t exactly a learning curve, either.

Yes, that means the Hippo ALL IN bet succeeds!! Cam for MVP!!!

The nightcap started out as a wet, sloppy mess and tribute to Glorious Lord and Saviour BLEERGH. But the Bears got their shit together in the 2nd quarter, managing a halftime lead and giving us an honest-to-fuck competitive footballing. Then the Favrenis truly got whipped out all over teh NBC. /shudders violently

In between the ridiculous decision to clutter the ENTIRE SECOND HALF of the broadcast with this fucking nonsense, the Bears defense dominated the balance of play. Really impressive stuff. Late pickerception as Favre tribute? Hee hee. But Green Bay’s defense held Langford one yard shy of a crucial first down and got Rodgers one last shot. And Chicago bent like mad…but didn’t break. 4 shots from the 8, all incomplete, and the Bears get a well-deserved win at Lambeau. FUCK YOU, BRITTFAR!!!

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King Hippo

Hairline fracture, Romo officially out for the season.

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Old School Zero

Pray. For. Horatio.

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King Hippo

UConn getting ass-blasted too. Good thing Daddy drinks!

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Horatio Cornblower

Horatio doesn’t need your prayers.

Horatio’s liver, on the other hand, could probably use a few dozen novenas.

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King Hippo

That’s Good Broncos guy making with the serious good footy analysis on Brock and PeyPey:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is the ONLY time I’ve ever heard DoucheMac and Alsshole do anything good, which shows you what a total moldy turd Florio is.

Thanks for posting that.

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King Hippo

yeah, Florio can make even local sports talk jackasses look nuanced and intelligent. what a dickhole.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hopefully you’ve never been exposed to those fucks; they are fucking terrible.

http://45.media.tumblr.com/79dddb0c406d1307429c18ec99a83982/tumblr_nll6nxY4DB1snmmclo2_500.gif

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Lothar of the Hill People

First thing my wife says is, “You didn’t come to bed until late last night, so I assume the Bears did well.”

I say, “They won!”

She says, “Are you still drunk?”

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entropy

Well? Don’t leave us in suspense, man!

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John Difool

Tony Romo got turned into a wishbone on Thanksgiving day and is most likely done for the season

December without sweet-sweet Romobyl is like December without Jesus’ birthday.

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entropy

///puts on nerd glasses

Jesus was most likely born in the spring, and moving the date to midwinter was essentially a political move by church leaders sometime in the 4th century. It was clever for a lot of reasons, one to supplant another religion growing in power and popularity, and another to show how “wrong” certain pagan religions were with the “death in winter/rebirth in spring” sacrifices and rituals. They also made some major headway in removing matriarchal power structures by demeaning the role of women in politics and family, but we can discuss that another time.

//removes nerd glasses, shudders, waits for noon for whiskey and beer.

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Lothar of the Hill People

My kids have all sorts of Christmas books that depict Bethlehem. These books end up flying across the room, and I whip out my phone to show my kids pictures of how Bethlehem looks. The worst one has Bethlehem as a desert, with the village in a valley. The Church of the Nativity is on a pretty high hill; no permanent buildings have been built in the valley in recorded history (or before).

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entropy

I live in a very different Bethlehem.

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Lothar of the Hill People

Ha! Good point.

I’ve spent time in the O.B. (Original Bethlehem). I lived in Ram’allah, but Bethlehem was just a hop, skip, and a checkpoint away.

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entropy

I’ve never been to that OB (OB to me was always Ocean Beach, San Diego), and honestly I have no desire to do so. I can’t imagine living in that region.

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Lothar of the Hill People

If you like the climate of inland Southern California (think Riverside, but a bit dryer), and you like tasty cheap food, you’d be fine in most of the Middle East.

If you like smoking hot brunettes, you’d do great in Lebanon. Syria was full of them, too, but the war has put a serious hurt on the dating scene.

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entropy

You present intriguing ideas, sir. Very intriguing.

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Lothar of the Hill People

Famous Lebanese pop tart:

http://www.alartist.com/data/media/19/haifa_wehbe_30.jpg

I’ve been in rooms/restaurants in Lebanon and Syria where she’d barely crack the top ten of women in the place.

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King Hippo

It would be a refreshing change of pace to go INTO the relationship as the Great Satan. Take some pressure off, ya know?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed; it means a LOT to bowling.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9j012YClO1qajc4eo1_500.gif

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entropy

Do you think Chip Kelly recites this to himself before every press conference, just in case someone takes him out?

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entropy

OK, fuck you then, YouTube embed code. Here’s the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN-no1Ka7yU

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blaxabbath

“Newton is a just a game manager riding the coat tails of a remarkable defense. That’s why he’ll never be elite like Flacco.”

-Old White Sportswriters

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Enrico Pallazzo

I still wish that CBS would have done one of those “Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours” vignettes with Greg Hardy.

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King Hippo

“I’m thankful the DFW strip clubs will still be open after the game, and that the bitches here know how to stay quiet.”

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entropy

“Also, that paying off witnesses is a viable legal strategy in this here United States.”

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Doktor Zymm

It seriously feels like Monday right now after all day football yesterday. I’m gonna be disappointed at no football tonight, but happy that I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.

Apparently Romo’s x-rays were “inconclusive” and they will be doing more tests today. I assume this means using the z-ray.

Confused yet delighted by the Bears. Good for them, and haha Brittfar.

Remember, this Sunday is Skins/Giants, to complete the NFC East clusterfucking.

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King Hippo

It’s my local Fox game, in case RedZone makes me dizzy. Starting the Giants D in both leagues because I am equal parts desperate and cray-cray.

Pheeeeel was sensible yesterday, perhaps the only time I have ever heard him so for more than 5-10 seconds. As he noted, “whatever the X-rays show, there’s no way Tony Romo should play another snap this season.”

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entropy

Is anyone going to win that game?

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Senor Weaselo

“Doesn’t someone have to?” -Donovan McNabb

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Lothar of the Hill People

Maybe with all the X-rays Romo is getting, he’ll acquire super powers. He’ll pick the power to heal like Wolverine, when what he really needs is the ability not to trip over his own dick in big games, like… umm… Captain NoDickTrip.

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