Your First Of Many (Two?) Saturday Night NFL Games Open Thread

No see, it’s Thursday Night Football disguised as Other Night Football. It’s more special that way. Do you feel the specialness that’s being imposed upon you by the heads that are talking? No? I knew that you’re the sort of commentariat that wouldn’t fall for that sort of thing.

NYJ @ Dal: Here’s a sentence you don’t see very often, The Jets are clearly the better team in this game. Whoa. I don’t know what you did/are doing Todd Bowles but I do know there will be hell to pay in the next life. The record for TD’s in a season for Jets QB’s is 29-the Fitz is at 25. He’s washed almost all the Buffalo off him and is looking fine. He’s got to be the poster boy for the “that system just wasn’t right for him” Narrative. Either that or this season is a one-off and Houston doesn’t really deserve the 6th round pick that they’re getting for dumping him. This is hard to type-INJURED TONY ROMO IS THE LEAGUE MVP! The Cowboys have fallen from 7th in yds. per game to 29th. As far as points per game are concerned they’ve gone from 29.2 down to 17.7. Enjoy the game folks.

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Smithchez

2000 yard sack

entropy

The “mega sack,” according to Jeeem.

Gratliff

Holy fuck. I can not believe how many star wars commercials exist at this point.

entropy

Did we need a Benghazi movie? Especially one directed by Michael Bay starring the dockworker from season two of The Wire?

Bortleback

But who else will tell us the secret story of Benghazi?!

blordinaryfagicmox

Ziggy? or Frank? Or Amy Ryan? If it’s Amy Ryan then yes, we need that movie.

entropy

Sadly, not Amy Ryan (I would watch that movie), also not Zig or Frank. The tall jackass from Orange is the New Black.

Smithchez

“Special” teams

entropy

They took the short bus from the hotel to the stadium.

Smithchez

This is certainly a Jet game.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Fucking special fucking teams

entropy

The most accurate description thus far.

Bollocks

ballsofsteelandfury

Never mind the

Gratliff

The derps just keep herping along.

entropy

Untouched Powelldown!!

entropy

Mike Carey says it’s a fumble. jets are gonna keep the ball.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s uncanny

entropy

I have never seen anyone be so wrong, so consistently, in my life.

Smithchez

This is turning out to be quite the clusterfuck so far. Classic Thur-Saturday night game.

entropy

Jesus fucking Christ. What next? Maybe an Ebola outbreak in the Jets locker room at halftime?

King Hippo

awwwww, you ruined the surprise

entropy

I’m the asshole at Christmas who guesses every present accurately.

MOTHERFUCK

entropy

David Bowie?

Smithchez

Aaaaaand that’ll be the season for Decker. This game is going GREAT

Gratliff

Oh my god, this fucking game.

litre_cola

Gentlemen, and Dok,

I do spend a lot of time here with you and I must tell you that I proposed today and am getting married next fall.

Cracked a bottle of wine that I have put down for 15 years and am now fielding too many phone calls. I hate telephones.

King Hippo

HUZZAH!

entropy

Congrats, man!

ballsofsteelandfury

WHOOHOO!! CONGRATULATIONS!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[slaps litre_cola on the ass, hard]

THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE!

Bortleback

Well done!

Tempted to do the same thing to get away from this shitty game – where can I get an engagement ring at 2am?

King Hippo

Two words – Grave. Robbing.

entropy

I can help you out, want a finger with that, or no?

Moonbatting Average

Mazel Tov!

blordinaryfagicmox

Unfortunately for me, the love between my turtle and I is still forbidden in the eyes of the law of our puritanical, body shaming society.

entropy

What? I was assured by many zealots that making gay marriage legal would result in people marrying animals. Is this NOT the case?

blordinaryfagicmox

Well to be fair, in my case it was just a rogue marriage license clerk in a landlocked dinosaur town who denied me; they just don’t understand reptiles (amphibians?) there.

Col. Duke LaCross

Right on!

Smithchez

Did the Jets just not plan for Dallas to have a pass rush?

entropy

If the ball hits BOTH of the receiver’s hands, it’s on fucking target, Pheeeel

Smithchez

Hit him in a bad spot

Gratliff

SOME A’YALL HATE US! SOME A’YALL LIKE US! AND THAT’S OKAY! CAUSE YOU PEOPLE PAID YOUR MONEY TO SEE US FUCK UP ON A WEEKLY BASIS!

ballsofsteelandfury

I am SO HAPPY I decided to follow Don T’s advice and have music playing. THIS is how you watch football!

entropy

Powell is quietly having a really nice second half of the season.

Bortleback

Cassel was just showing his eliteness with that interception – killing some clock, while knowing that the Jets would derp the ball up rather than score

Smithchez

What an idiotic sequence that did nothing but reverse field

entropy

Shut the fuck up Pheeeel. It’s all Matt Cassel’s fault.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moonbatting Average

Are Cowboys fans actually rooting for them to win? That would be insane. My wife was happy with that stop, but I think it was just reflex

God damnit Chan

King Hippo

MAXIMUM THURSDAY

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
John Difool

I remember when I saw them open up for The Cure in ’87

Smithchez

YES CHAN, RIGHT UP THE MIDDLE ALWAYS WORKS. FUCK

Gratliff

Jets.

entropy

Chan you fucking asshole

blordinaryfagicmox
Smithchez

Yeah, that’s the stuff

Smithchez

Enough of this productive outside running, Chan. MOAR 2 yard runs straight up the middle!

entropy

“I’d ideally like to be remembered as the opposite of an innovator.”

–Chan Gailey

Bortleback

OBJ’s secrets to success:
1: Be born a genetic freak
2: Don’t get drafted by the Browns

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Doesn’t the ball have to hit, you know, the GROUND for it to be intentional grounding?

Congratulations, Matt Cassel, you’re gonna have a rule named after you!

entropy

These are the same officials who cannot come to a consensus on what is a catch, let’s not expect too much from them.

Sill Bimmons

The secret to ODB’s success: hands that can rip phone books in half.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Bortleback

Is that actually a Barf cosplay? Where can I see more of this lady?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Bortleback

Nice of Cassel to be selective about which defender he was going to throw the interception to, I suppose?

entropy

He felt Revis needed the stats.

entropy

Nice work, Jets. Interception then false start? Get your shit together.

King Hippo

PRAISE BE!!!!!

King Hippo

Ineffective grounding, heh

hippofant

Intentional grounding AND an interception together seem contradictory.

entropy

The rarely seen “intentional interception.”

Smithchez

So it’s gonna be one of THOSE kinds of games, huh?

John Difool

CASSELVANIACEPTION

King Hippo

Oh dear fuck, that was HILARIOUS

Sill Bimmons

oh wow

Gratliff

Holy shit, cassel. I now have all the derp I needed for the day.