Your First Of Many (Two?) Saturday Night NFL Games Open Thread

No see, it’s Thursday Night Football disguised as Other Night Football. It’s more special that way. Do you feel the specialness that’s being imposed upon you by the heads that are talking? No? I knew that you’re the sort of commentariat that wouldn’t fall for that sort of thing.

NYJ @ Dal: Here’s a sentence you don’t see very often, The Jets are clearly the better team in this game. Whoa. I don’t know what you did/are doing Todd Bowles but I do know there will be hell to pay in the next life. The record for TD’s in a season for Jets QB’s is 29-the Fitz is at 25. He’s washed almost all the Buffalo off him and is looking fine. He’s got to be the poster boy for the “that system just wasn’t right for him” Narrative. Either that or this season is a one-off and Houston doesn’t really deserve the 6th round pick that they’re getting for dumping him. This is hard to type-INJURED TONY ROMO IS THE LEAGUE MVP! The Cowboys have fallen from 7th in yds. per game to 29th. As far as points per game are concerned they’ve gone from 29.2 down to 17.7. Enjoy the game folks.

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Bortleback

The army paid for that ad that was shilling the army? Didn’t see that one coming.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh, and to go off-topic:

Pete Rose apologists are the worst. The dude is banned for a reason.

Gratliff

And in overtime, it’ll be the Chevy coin toss. Chevy: Giving you a 50-50 shot for over a century!

Gratliff

Dammit. Missed.

entropy

He freely admits he’s still gambling on baseball!

entropy

So it’s the Lexus halftime report during a football game brought to you by Mazda, Hyundai, and Honda?

ballsofsteelandfury

Love you Naya!

blordinaryfagicmox
Horatio Cornblower

Phil and Jim seem amazed that a defensive secondary would line up 13 yards deep on 3rd and 14.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

But how do you stop the screen then?

Horatio Cornblower

Tackle the runner before he gets 14 yards up the field.

Duh.

entropy

Fucking Winters. God dammit

Smithchez

Three first half penalties is not ideal, Brian.

ballsofsteelandfury

“A Tale of Two Cities”

Is that about the ongoing neverending effort to use Los Angeles to extort money from other cities?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

LA and Anaheim both couldn’t keep teams.

Granted Al Davis would move to Kosovo if he could work it out.

Horatio Cornblower

Al Davis strikes me as being more comfortable in Transylvania in his current condition.

Bortleback

The current clusterfuck is more like a scat film called “3 teams, 1 city”

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Ryan Fitzpatrick is pretty close to a 90 QBR. The last Jet to do that was Chad Pennington.

Bortleback

So do we know that this Moore guy isn’t Tim Tebow in disguise? Has anyone ever seen them in the same room together?

Sill Bimmons

What exactly are you implying here?

Bortleback

His third down overthrows are Tebowesque, not to mention that pick on his second pass

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They may be lovers…..

Smithchez

YEEEEEEEEEHAW, I HAVE OVERLY OPTIMISTIC FEELINGS ABOUT THE REMAINDER OF OUR SCHEDULE!!!

/fires two guns in the air
//bullets both come down into Romo’s collarbone

litre_cola

Beat Zona and its ours.

entropy

///Romo still not placed on IR after suffering two simultaneous gunshot wounds

entropy

Is it just me, or does Moore look terrified?

Horatio Cornblower

So save me a minute on the internet search: What happened to Matt Cassell? Injured or just too much suck?

Sill Bimmons

Suck. Too much.

blordinaryfagicmox

The jets signed Bernard Pollard in the middle of the first quarter, and Cassel booked it out of the stadium.

ballsofsteelandfury

He only injures good QBs, though.

Gratliff

So much suck.

hippofant

“Don’t worry, man. You can’t be as bad as that Cassell dude.”

Horatio Cornblower

Moore: “Oh yeah?”

ballsofsteelandfury

“Sure I can! “

Sill Bimmons

He’s got that look where he doesn’t even know he’s dead yet.

Smithchez

It’s almost as if any quarterback can be decent given 15 minutes in the pocket

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…AND WHITEHEAD GETS DRILLED ON THE RETURN! SOMEONE CALL A DERMATOLOGIST!

ballsofsteelandfury

Hol’y shit! Dez is still alive!

Bortleback

Mazda: Don’t forget us when you’re having your midlife crisis

litre_cola

I will tow it with my camaro

Sill Bimmons

Why doesn’t the new Miata have a folding metal roof?

Ragtops suck.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh that’s what I used to call Sikhs in Brampton when I got shitfaced!

Sill Bimmons

Those are pull-starts.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The best of the Bowl Games: The Jerry Jones Strippers and Crack Classic

Sill Bimmons

Fuck this ad.

Smithchez

The fact that it’s only 9-3 says a lot more about the Jets than it does about the Cowboys.

entropy

SHIT! That reminds me I have a family birthday dinner to go to tomorrow. Gonna miss the afternoon slate.

Bortleback

The way things are going, the Cowboys O line will end up with more tackles than successful pickups of the pass rush

Smithchez

Brian Winters is making up for his two early penalties by just not blocking at all. Weird strategy.

Horatio Cornblower

Horatio returns from a night out with the family. Turns on the TV just in time to watch the Dallas QB hurl an interception. Realizes said QB is not Matt Cassell.

“Hey, we’ve got a chance here!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like how the referees managed to miss TWO blows to the head of the quarterback.

entropy

Not a marquee name, doesn’t matter to the NFL.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s Thursday Night Football on Saturday. What did you expect?

King Hippo

Ah, so maybe that’s why he wasn’t playing.

ballsofsteelandfury

Jesus, Cassell, how the fuck do you just throw the ball blind?

ballsofsteelandfury

Moore. Whatever.

Sill Bimmons

NAWT CASSEL

King Hippo

That was lefty CasselVANIA understudy

entropy

Holy shit that was funnier than the first INT.

Sill Bimmons

ermagherd

Bortleback

Is Peyton a girls name or a boys name?

entropy

Yes.

Sill Bimmons

If you love your children it’s neither.

ballsofsteelandfury

You know, the video to Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off is kinda fun.

Bortleback

She can shake whatever she wants

Smithchez

This is a classic Jets scenario. If he doesn’t throw for 300 yards and 4 touchdowns I’ll be shocked.

Gratliff

Was just thinking that. All the mak….and nevermind.

entropy

The Kellan Moore era begins?

Gratliff

KELLEN MOORE SIGHTING?

ballsofsteelandfury

Is H8ful Eight going to be any good?

Sill Bimmons

No.

Smithchez

STOP RUNNING IT UP THE FUCKING MIDDLE EVERY TIME YOU FUCKING IDIOT

entropy

I think maybe someone needs to pull him aside and tell him the running back is allowed to go to either side.

entropy

Right up the middle, Chan! THEY WILL NEVER EXPECT IT

ballsofsteelandfury

Jones’ wife looks like a female clone of him. That is some scary shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Smithchez

Whoo, right up the middle! That Chan Gailey fella is changin’ the game I tells ya!

entropy

This Tostitos commercial makes me insane. No one at the party knows this asshole’s name, why is he there? Who invited him?

Bortleback

Somebody showing up like that, with nobody knowing their name, definitely isn’t a net contributor of snacks to the party, anyway.

litre_cola

Is Star Wars sponsored by Draft Kings yet?

entropy

The value of daily fantasy sports, as explained in a galaxy far, far away…..

Bortleback

A long time age, in an unregulated gambling market far far away……

Bortleback

Ago*

ballsofsteelandfury

Holy shit, the Cowboys offense is God-awful!

Gratliff

There is not actually a “mega sack”, you lush.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m old; it is a megasack.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, you meant……….