Stupid window crashed on me and I am typing this for a second time. Like it was even very good the first time, for fuck’s sake.
Browns at Seahawks (4:05, Fox)
Better late than never? I suppose the SeaTruthers can take up that rallying cry, after a rash of RB injuries and meh defensive work forced them to reluctantly become a passing team. And, much like at every other non-bedroom step in his prolific career, the Charmslinger has been up to the task. I have nothing new to say about the clownshow that is The Factory. Like my dead pappy used to say, “it is what it is.”
Packers at Raiders (4:05, Fox)
One franchise on its way up, the other on its way down (though Rodgers remains exceptional). A pretty fascinating matchup, I wish this had been flexed to SNF instead of the silly Bird Battle. Great shootout potential, too.
Broncos at Steelers (4:25, CBS)
Today’s featured fixture, for certain, with immense implications for the playoff race (even at 11 wins, there will be one chair too few for the Jets, Chefs, Stillers, and Donks) and for homefield. Denver absolutely has to win this week or next (home vs. Cincy) or they are royally fucked, as would then lose any and all tiebreakers. I have a really bad feeling about this one, as The Ben looks like he has been promised all the Choco Tacos he can eat of late.
Bengals at 49ers (4:25, CBS)
Don’t forget to ask about Tomsula’s sign spinning discounts! Speaking of spinners…wonder if we will see screenshots of AJ McCarron’s bae? You know Brent Musberger will be watching.
Dolphins at Chargers (4:25, CBS)
Probably will be on constant loop at Gitmo all week. DO SOMETHING, AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL!!
[whistle never blows]
PHEEL: did they blow the play dead
Um that shouldn’t be dead ball.
way to just quit there
Carolina’s the best 11-3 14-0 team ever.
That was as bad a drop as you’ll ever see.
he had an even worse one to seal last week’s loss (on 4th down)
I haven’t seen anything drop that badly since Mackelmore’s last album.
He had one?
When did Dez Bryant sign with the Broncos?
Vernon Davis, asshole
I’m starting to think that Mike Singletary was right about him
ALL HAIL BLEERGH
On the Rodgers pic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ru8DMW-grY
Go ahead, gents.
Get the missus a mixer for Christmas.
Best of luck with that.
I went with a fitbit. Could go either way.
I thought mine would appreciate the really nice vacuum cleaner last year. Glad I have a comfy sofa.
The thing is, she probably would have.
Last week in November.
Christmas is for shiny things!
Worked for me. With my first wife.
Got a mixer out of it.
This whole season has had all the appeal of a shaving nick on the scrotum. Did you know little bits of toilet paper won’t stay stuck on those?
Throw it to Woodhead!
Called it
If they never run another fucking screen it’ll be too soon.
What if they need to lose yardage?
If such a need ever arises it will definitely work.
“We’ve replaced Brock Osweiler with……well…Brock Osweiler.”
Nobody noticed.
“We replaced Brock Osweiler with Broccoli… amazingly, no one noticed.”
That’s not replaced, that’s reinstalled.
fucking garbage
EXCELLENT READ?? ARE YOU SHITTING ME??
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Almost Icewaterception.
GET THE STOP YOU IDIOTS
Oh no! The Persian Persuasion has the ouchie! Who’s gonna false start and do all our holding?!?!
Just go set the ball in the end zone for the Stillers and save the suspense.
How does one rough up a Ben? Not melt his grilled cheese sandwiches enough? Forget to include the funny section of the paper in his lunch box, how?
Take away his Choco Tacos
File charges
Tell the bouncers he’s the one that broke into the bar bathroom
Oh shit the RODGAAAAAHS guy is back.
Gotta go be at the inlaws. Thanks for your pre holiday footballishness.
We’ll pray for you.
He went in Jared.
Did Kubiak and Boss Todd switch teams at the half?
God damnit Donks, stop fucking this up!
If the Broncos were a single player on their roster, they’d be Roby. Incredibly talented. Utterly maddening.
You want me to show hole amazon? Well just remember you asked.
Why even have a TV
WHEATONDOWN!!!!!!!
I wonder how many Yinzer sports bars have a Rothlis-burger on the menu.
An embarrassing amount.
You’d be pretty dumb not to.
Mine would be Gruyere, jambon, arugula, cornichons and a mustard-Rosemary aioli on brioche.
Sill you forgot a roofie demiglaze
That’s in the complimentary Roy Rogers.
Sounds good Sill, but needs ketchup.
You can add it but it’s not coming out of the kitchen like that.
I’m gonna say all of them.
Final gonna be Yinzers 41-27
I’m beginning to think that this Antonio Brown guy may have a future in this sport.
And if football doesn’t work out he can always try MMA (if he’s allowed to only fight punters)
http://cdn1.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/38155392/20140907_lbm_sj4_090.JPG.0.jpg
Browns Twitter account just tweeted that they were at the two min warning. Stupid me, I think they are announcing it because it matters. I check the score and they are down 13-30.
Fucking losers.
Crabtree botched the important task of lining up at the line of scrimmage
He’s still wearing his pads from the niners, so being a fuckup is coming naturally to him
Two weeks in a row, we go into the half and lobotamize ourselves. FUCKING UNFORGIVABLE
This Vinyl thing looks terrible.
reply fail again wtf
Is your computer machine malfunctioning?
Shut up and leave the field.
So much derp
JFF pick to clinch playoffs for the hated C-hox
hmmm…
Stalin needs to line up all these motherfuckers and shoot them.
Might need to rename him Johnny F–ckin Fumble though
Never gonna see him drop a shot.
The Koreans and their Boilermakers would beg to differ.
JAWNNY FUMBAWW
oh my fucking god
That’s a new one to me.
I hate the stupid Cheese head thing the Packers fans do, that being said, this just happened:
Announcer: “Packers fan’s travel well”
/camera switches to Packers fans in Cheese heads, but chugging a beer
I know they didn’t plan it, but that is an accurate representation of my state
And you are a Bears fan? How does that go?
Born in Chicago, was a Payton/rest of the team fan as a toddler, never gave up my fandom when we moved.
Buttchugging on TV? THANKS NOBUMMER!!
We are a drinking problem with statehood.
What. In the fuck.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA
buhhhhhh…..what?
oh, goddamnit Denver
What in the flying piss just happened?
That rule where you has a free shot once the punting team touches it.
BUT WE GAVE UP THE SCORE BECAUSE WE ARE FUCKING IDIOTS
And if it got reviewed the penalty would have been negated because the play would have been dead.
Benterception?