Mid-Afternoon Week 15 Five Spot Game Thread

Stupid window crashed on me and I am typing this for a second time. Like it was even very good the first time, for fuck’s sake.

Browns at Seahawks (4:05, Fox)

Better late than never? I suppose the SeaTruthers can take up that rallying cry, after a rash of RB injuries and meh defensive work forced them to reluctantly become a passing team. And, much like at every other non-bedroom step in his prolific career, the Charmslinger has been up to the task. I have nothing new to say about the clownshow that is The Factory. Like my dead pappy used to say, “it is what it is.”

Packers at Raiders (4:05, Fox)

One franchise on its way up, the other on its way down (though Rodgers remains exceptional). A pretty fascinating matchup, I wish this had been flexed to SNF instead of the silly Bird Battle. Great shootout potential, too.

Broncos at Steelers (4:25, CBS)

Today’s featured fixture, for certain, with immense implications for the playoff race (even at 11 wins, there will be one chair too few for the Jets, Chefs, Stillers, and Donks) and for homefield. Denver absolutely has to win this week or next (home vs. Cincy) or they are royally fucked, as would then lose any and all tiebreakers. I have a really bad feeling about this one, as The Ben looks like he has been promised all the Choco Tacos he can eat of late.

Bengals at 49ers (4:25, CBS)

Don’t forget to ask about Tomsula’s sign spinning discounts! Speaking of spinners…wonder if we will see screenshots of AJ McCarron’s bae? You know Brent Musberger will be watching.

Dolphins at Chargers (4:25, CBS)

Probably will be on constant loop at Gitmo all week. DO SOMETHING, AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL!!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
581 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
fleshwound_NPG

[whistle never blows]

PHEEL: did they blow the play dead

Sill Bimmons

Um that shouldn’t be dead ball.

Sill Bimmons

Carolina’s the best 11-3 14-0 team ever.

Sill Bimmons

That was as bad a drop as you’ll ever see.

Romonobyl

I haven’t seen anything drop that badly since Mackelmore’s last album.

Shogun Marcus

He had one?

Romonobyl

When did Dez Bryant sign with the Broncos?

Bortleback

I’m starting to think that Mike Singletary was right about him

WCS

ALL HAIL BLEERGH

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Sill Bimmons

Go ahead, gents.

Get the missus a mixer for Christmas.

Best of luck with that.

litre_cola

I went with a fitbit. Could go either way.

Romonobyl

I thought mine would appreciate the really nice vacuum cleaner last year. Glad I have a comfy sofa.

Sill Bimmons

The thing is, she probably would have.

Last week in November.

Christmas is for shiny things!

Shogun Marcus

Worked for me. With my first wife.

Got a mixer out of it.

Romonobyl

This whole season has had all the appeal of a shaving nick on the scrotum. Did you know little bits of toilet paper won’t stay stuck on those?

litre_cola

Throw it to Woodhead!

litre_cola

Called it

Sill Bimmons

If they never run another fucking screen it’ll be too soon.

Romonobyl

What if they need to lose yardage?

Sill Bimmons

If such a need ever arises it will definitely work.

Smithchez

“We’ve replaced Brock Osweiler with……well…Brock Osweiler.”

Sill Bimmons

Nobody noticed.

John Difool

“We replaced Brock Osweiler with Broccoli… amazingly, no one noticed.”

Romonobyl

That’s not replaced, that’s reinstalled.

Sill Bimmons

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Almost Icewaterception.

Sill Bimmons

GET THE STOP YOU IDIOTS

Shogun Marcus

Oh no! The Persian Persuasion has the ouchie! Who’s gonna false start and do all our holding?!?!

John Difool

How does one rough up a Ben? Not melt his grilled cheese sandwiches enough? Forget to include the funny section of the paper in his lunch box, how?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Take away his Choco Tacos

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

File charges

Recovery Whiskey

Tell the bouncers he’s the one that broke into the bar bathroom

Romonobyl

Oh shit the RODGAAAAAHS guy is back.

Recovery Whiskey

Gotta go be at the inlaws. Thanks for your pre holiday footballishness.

Romonobyl

We’ll pray for you.

Romonobyl

He went in Jared.

fleshwound_NPG

Did Kubiak and Boss Todd switch teams at the half?

Smithchez

God damnit Donks, stop fucking this up!

makeitsnowondem

If the Broncos were a single player on their roster, they’d be Roby. Incredibly talented. Utterly maddening.

Shogun Marcus

You want me to show hole amazon? Well just remember you asked.

Recovery Whiskey

Why even have a TV

ThursdaySkyGoddess

WHEATONDOWN!!!!!!!

Romonobyl

I wonder how many Yinzer sports bars have a Rothlis-burger on the menu.

WCS

An embarrassing amount.

Sill Bimmons

You’d be pretty dumb not to.

Sill Bimmons

Mine would be Gruyere, jambon, arugula, cornichons and a mustard-Rosemary aioli on brioche.

litre_cola

Sill you forgot a roofie demiglaze

Sill Bimmons

That’s in the complimentary Roy Rogers.

Romonobyl

Sounds good Sill, but needs ketchup.

Sill Bimmons

You can add it but it’s not coming out of the kitchen like that.

Senor Weaselo

I’m gonna say all of them.

WCS

I’m beginning to think that this Antonio Brown guy may have a future in this sport.

Bortleback

And if football doesn’t work out he can always try MMA (if he’s allowed to only fight punters)

http://cdn1.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/38155392/20140907_lbm_sj4_090.JPG.0.jpg

blaxabbath

Browns Twitter account just tweeted that they were at the two min warning. Stupid me, I think they are announcing it because it matters. I check the score and they are down 13-30.

Fucking losers.

Recovery Whiskey

Crabtree botched the important task of lining up at the line of scrimmage

Bortleback

He’s still wearing his pads from the niners, so being a fuckup is coming naturally to him

Sill Bimmons

This Vinyl thing looks terrible.

Sill Bimmons

reply fail again wtf

Romonobyl

Is your computer machine malfunctioning?

Sill Bimmons

Shut up and leave the field.

Gratliff

So much derp

Recovery Whiskey

JFF pick to clinch playoffs for the hated C-hox

Sill Bimmons

hmmm…

Recovery Whiskey

Might need to rename him Johnny F–ckin Fumble though

blaxabbath

Never gonna see him drop a shot.

litre_cola

The Koreans and their Boilermakers would beg to differ.

John Difool

JAWNNY FUMBAWW

makeitsnowondem

oh my fucking god

ThursdaySkyGoddess

That’s a new one to me.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I hate the stupid Cheese head thing the Packers fans do, that being said, this just happened:

Announcer: “Packers fan’s travel well”

/camera switches to Packers fans in Cheese heads, but chugging a beer

I know they didn’t plan it, but that is an accurate representation of my state

litre_cola

And you are a Bears fan? How does that go?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Born in Chicago, was a Payton/rest of the team fan as a toddler, never gave up my fandom when we moved.

John Difool

comment image

Spanky Datass

Buttchugging on TV? THANKS NOBUMMER!!

Shogun Marcus

We are a drinking problem with statehood.

Senor Weaselo

What. In the fuck.

fleshwound_NPG

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA

Smithchez

buhhhhhh…..what?

WCS

What in the flying piss just happened?

Senor Weaselo

And if it got reviewed the penalty would have been negated because the play would have been dead.

blaxabbath

Benterception?