Your “No Title Prepared” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Since he’s not on any rosters, I’d like to see Goodell fine him: Jerry Rice says the 49ers should try to land Antonio Brown.
    • The main trading block would be a $21 million cap hit the Steelers would have to absorb – and the Niners would have to help soften.
  • Both the NFL & NFLPA have asserted, in writing, that Eric Reid was not unfairly targeted by the drug testing protocol.
    • They provided him a private, confidential copy of the league’s computer-generated testing algorithm, along with evidence of other players tested multiple times during the season.
    • It’s being alleged that Reid inflated his test count to garner sympathy.
      • The comments are what you’ve come to expect from Twitter.

  • The Hall of Fame has decided against an attendance requirement for enshrinement.
    • This was proposed after Terrell Owens skipped the ceremony for his own self-serving ceremony at UT-Chattanooga.
    • Peter King will be fine with it, because it means his beloved Darren Sharper may still qualify despite being currently unable to attend for another 14-16 years.
  • The Cardinals will get a sixth-round compensatory pick from the Bucs as compensation for Bruce Arians becoming their new coach.
    • It’s the result of Arians retiring in 2017 with one-year plus an option left on his contract, meaning he possibly could have been Arizona’s coach in 2019, thus the required remedy.
    • Plus, he’s decided to rebuild the Bucs offense around Jameis Winston, and brought in Todd Bowles to help shore up the defence.
  • John Elway – pictured (right) speaking to Broncos owner Pat Bowlen – has agreed to terms with Vic Fangio to become the new Head Coach, and with Gary Kubiak to become the new OC.
    • Fangio will focus on hiring a defense staff that can work with Von Miller, because he’d already used the monkey paw on Khalil Mack & doesn’t know how many wishes it has left.
  • The Browns have indeed gone with Freddie Kitchens as their new head coach.
    • They’ve also parted ways with DC & interim head coach Gregg Williams.

Finally, on a serious note, Brandon Mebane’s infant daughter Makenna passed away last Thursday.

  • She was born with trisomy 13, also known as Patau syndrome, a rare condition in which some or all of the cells of the body contain extra genetic material from chromosome 13.
    • Trisomy 13 occurs in about 1 in 16,000 newborns. Although women of any age can have a child with trisomy 13, the chance of having a child with this condition increases as a woman gets older.
    • The extra genetic material disrupts normal development, causing multiple and complex organ defects – in this case, causing her to be born missing a heart valve & bleeding into her stomach.
    • It’s not normally an inherited condition, but occurs due to random errors in cell division during gestation, causing a cell to acquire an extra copy of chromosome-13.
  • He missed four games this season to be with his family while Makenna was treated for the heart defect, and the wild-card game to mourn her passing.
    • Over 90% of children born with the condition don’t make it past their first year.
  • He stated that he will be playing against the Patriots on Sunday.

Tonight’s sports:

  • Hockey:
    • NHL:
      • Predators at Blackhawks – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
    • AHL:
      • Utica Comets (Canucks) at Toronto Marlies (Leafs) – 7:00PM | TSN2
  • NBA:
    • Pacers at Celtics – 7:00PM | TSN4
    • Bucks at Rockets – 8:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
    • Pistons at Lakers – 10:30PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Georgetown at Xavier – 6:30PM | FS1
    • Auburn at Mississippi – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
    • West By-God Virginia at Kansas State – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Butler at Seton Hall – 8:30PM | FS1
    • TCU at Kansas – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
    • Virginia at Boston College – 9:00PM | ESPNU

We had school visitors today, so I couldn’t get much completed on the post save for basic details. SORRY!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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UnsurprisedWakezillaBrick MeathookMoose -The End Is Well NightheeWeeBabySeamus Recent comment authors
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Wakezilla

Wooo! Almost done my first assignment for my 2nd year Human Geography class that stupid U of Calgary is making me do.

https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aKx3bzj_460sv.mp4

Wakezilla

Finished watching Narcos: Mexico. It was a solid season. At least in terms of storytelling, Miguel Angel Felix Gallardo was the true protagonist of the show who was done dirty. The DEA wasn’t likeable and they sure as shit are going to be unbearable next season.

Perhaps the biggest disappointment is, I just finished watching this season, which was released several months ago and there are hardly any Isabella Bautista gifs to be seen. Da fuq is wrong with gif makers?

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Sorry. I never watched Narcos.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

…What the hell is flakka?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Break into jail.
LOL

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t know, but it REALLY makes you miss your friends.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

“Yes, and?” -Ray Billings

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, just simple mower and my figurative keyboard, no fancy crap.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Me leaving my Jets fandom behind after hiring Adam Gase pic.twitter.com/czRLZz6tRX

— Jordan (@JPens4Real21) January 10, 2019

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Senor Weaselo

Did any of us think the Jets would make good choices?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Hey, it would read “douchebag” if it were a BMW.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If you can write that with an ice cream cone (melting) I will buy you a modest hat.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He should’ve smeared the rest of it over the door handles.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

HERE'S THE DEAL: GO FUCK YOURSELF

— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) January 9, 2019

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Channel? Nice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I guess he’s now Smol Daddy Drew.

#tweetyourweight 187.2 lbs. I do not recommend losing weight by trying to eat hospital food for five weeks.

— Drew Magary (@drewmagary) January 9, 2019

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jesus, he’s been there for five weeks?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Meeting Peter King nearly killed him.

WCS

BIG MAYO can get his weight back.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Lots of people recommending an all-smoker diet to regain mass.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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SonOfSpam

Lakers game broadcast just showed Charlize Theron sitting in the front row.

Man, that is one ugly-ass broad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, what a cow.

SonOfSpam

Right??? I wouldn’t even have sex with her unless she somehow indicated she’d have sex with me.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That reminds me. I was going to make gifs of her and Teri Hatcher in her prime wrestling from Two Days In The Valley, but … eh.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

FYI, this is of her after the game:comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

So Giannis apparently hit Harden in the face with an attempted pass. I saw someone post it and nearly had hot tea go through my nose.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

To be fair, I support dwarf tossing.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Remember to lift with your legs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just sorting through old news stories.

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SonOfSpam

Best, nay, ONLY reaction to getting a gun pulled on you.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yes, without the poop

SonOfSpam

No, no, no…the poop is the piece de resistance, the “poop de grace” if you will.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“PREACH!”

-Najeh Trenadious Monté Davenport

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sharkbait

I do enjoy some Jim Jefferies

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ditto.
I also miss Carlin.

Sharkbait

Wish I could have seen him. I have seen Jim twice though.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Absolutely.

Then…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

R.I.P KSK

Redshirt

At least its death led to this website.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I hate Dallas, but the loss wasn’t all bad.

nomonkeyfun

President Johnson, too soon man. Not cool.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pete KNOWS it wasn’t a single gunman.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Pete was the second shooter on the grassy knoll.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was the point.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I just wanted to link the video SINCE NO ONE ELSE DID, BOOZEGUYDICK

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

When I returned from traveling, I noticed my best weed plant was dying. Not surprising, really.
But I harvested the buds that were on it last night. I plan to be high as hell later tonight.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I buy my pot at Walgreens now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Walgreens here don’t even sell cigarettes anymore.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It wasn’t me.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That time.

rockingdog
rockingdog

thats so cool! walgreens is the best!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

rockingdog
rockingdog

jamin

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mr. Ed was a dick. I hope he’s glue now.

I need sleep. Badly.

How’s everyone doing tonight?

litre_cola

Drinking wine, high as a kite in Northern Alberta.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Showoff.

litre_cola

IT IS -33C!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

C cups? That’s my bread and butter!!!!!
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have the sniffles.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Me too.

Sharkbait

Sipping rye, looking at cookbooks and trying to decide what to make for dinner tomorrow. Brother in law is coming over

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

AT&T Park in San Francisco (the based-ball stadium) is now known as Oracle Park.

Gonna go find out what the future holds, brb.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

last funny:

ME: Alexa, could Han Solo beat up Captain Kirk?
ALEXA: NERD ALERT
ME: what
ALEXA: you heard me nerd
ME: what
ALEXA: playing They Might Be Giants from Spotify

nomonkeyfun

+18 Apollos

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

Dammit, both of them is ded. Not right.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

“wats up loosers”

Redshirt

Wow. Assuming this is serious, its almost like he’s how I would’ve turned out had traumatic bullying didn’t force an adapted personality change in middle school.

I never thought I would say this but thank you to all the bullies who made fun of how I dressed, talked and acted. Its because of you that I am the person I am today.

Redshirt

Moose, I have to give you credit. You always have a endless supply of GIFs at the ready.

litre_cola

It is amazing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[daydreams about an endless supply of Jif, supplemented by marshmallow fluff] – Eli Manning

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

So, I’ve now seen an ad for something called Peyronies disease. “Peyronie’s (pay-roe-NEEZ) disease is the development of fibrous scar tissue inside the penis that causes curved, painful erections.” Didn’t that intern say that Bill Clinton had a curved dick?
Guess it’s better than having a corkscrew cock with a left hand thread.

Redshirt

Well, at least my Bengals patience with choosing their next head coach is going to ensure they get the Cream of the Crap.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[drums fingers together with an evil grin] – Hue Jackson

Senor Weaselo

Hue’s playbook is two sizes too small, it all makes sense now!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

I’d mister her bean.

Senor Weaselo

Adam Gase to the Jets. I haven’t seen an organization fuck up what should be a slam dunk so easily since the Democrats last night.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Agreed. What was that last night? We all knew Orangekammvorwärtsfuhrer probably wasn’t going to not convert on 4th Down, though it was a decent try, but how could the Dems fumble the first snap after? How could they do a National Speech and not include the words “autocratic” and “McConnell”?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

They’re they Washington Generals of politics.

litre_cola

Watching college hoops, a Raycom broadcast.
ColoUr commentator “They really love this guy”

That is stupid. They gave him a scholarship, car, degree for free. Would they give all this to someone that they think is bad? No. Stop this announcers. It is like someone gets killed, “great person, loved by everyone”.

Fuck you, like someone is going to say “That guy was an asshat and owed me 30 bucks for some blow we split but I ain’t gunna get that now am I? He was an asshole who didn’t pay his debts.”

Know what else I have a problem with? Jason Witten’s tailor. Why are his suits so short? Tight, sure he is stacked, but fucking hell his suit sleeves are too short, and he looks stupid.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

They all wear suits two sizes too small, it’s the hipster style now.

Also, brown shoes with a blue suit is tacky, always has been, always will be.

litre_cola

Brown shoes with a slate gray suit is excellent, blue is too much.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

OTOH, according to shoulda-been-poet-laureate Frank Zappa, brown shoes don’t make it.

litre_cola

I LOVE MY BROWN DOC MARTENS!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Todd Marinovich, when asked by his, um, business associate “Doc Martens” if he feels like springing for the China white

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed; he looks like a 16 year old that got his suit a couple of years ago.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I’d like to meet his tailor.” – Warren Zevon, referring to Rob Ryan’s fashion sensibility

Redshirt

That’s the name of the game. Always be nice. It even works in politics posthumously (with a few exceptions):

Any Very Liberal Democrat Politician about their opinion about George H.W. Bush on November 29, 2018:
“He is a terrible person. Untrustworthy. Elitist. Didn’t care about the people. Rode the coattails of someone else. Only won because he did a negative campaign against a good, honest American. A fine example of a Republican and a worthy contribution to the Bush family legacy.”

Any Very Liberal Democrat Politician about their opinion about George H.W. Bush on December 1, 2018:
“He was a good public servant. Honorable. Served his nation well. A family man. A proud husband and father. Promoted public service before, during and after his Presidency. A fine example of a Republican and a worthy contribution to the Bush family legacy.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bullshit.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

To be totally honest, a 21 dollar cap hit doesn’t seem that bad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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You can get a used Billdo for that.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Better be a pretty good cap though, fitted at least.

litre_cola

I would pay 21 dollars for an old team branded painters cap.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know I sound like a very old man, but have you seen hat prices these days? A fitted cap goes for $40+.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The league ones do; you gotta pay which ever commissioner.

ballsofsteelandfury

Dhgate.com

litre_cola

Minus 33 degrees Celsius here today boys. Sunlight from 9 am til 4pm. All the jacked up trucks you could handle, with an side order of camo and Polaris jackets.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Warm, no snow here…… fire danger in fucking January.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

This town had a ridiculous fire in 2016 that almost took the whole place out. I would like to go and see the rebuild but it is dark when I am not working.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, the whole countryside around there too, right?

litre_cola

Yeah, then the next area is an oil and gas hellscape. Can’t drive up there.

Wakezilla

You in Fort Mac?

litre_cola

Yessir! I leave tomorrow. Wood Buffalo Brewing has an amazing stout so they have that going for them.

Game Time Decision

It’s cold out there campers.
/stay warm

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

That’s how Belichick gets the moms.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

BULLESYE!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s going to take more than the whole Kitchens’ sink to turn the Browns into a winner

/shows self out

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

I don’t understand this “news” about R. Kelly. Dave Chappelle knew about he was a perv 15 years ago.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

I have a quick question: if Nike sponsors a video about how child labour is wrong, but the makers of the film cannot pose a solution to stop child labour because it would have to place blame on Nike, what is this called? .
It’s like a conflict of interest, but not.

What’s the word Wakezilla is looking for?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cynical?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bullshit?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Kaepernick!

SonOfSpam

Felching.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The porn site?

SonOfSpam

There are porn sites????

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

#momfelching.com

Don T

Lip, as in service

nomonkeyfun

Capitalism?