I drove into my downtown office this morning, and even though I don’t live in a REAL city…twas quickly reminded of how much I despise humanity and the bullshit social obligation-fest that is New Year’s Eve.
What am I gonna do tonight? Stay home and watch fucking football. Otherwise, I would deliberately go to bed before midnight. Because fuck your societal mores.
Peach Bowl – Houston vs. Florida State (Noon, ESPN)
They brought back the “peach” element to the corporatization at least, thank fuck. I woulda called it “Peach Bowl” anyway, but still. True story, my ex-mother-in-law ALWAYS called it “Chick-a-fil.” Truly disturbing. Anyway, there are some that believe YOOOOOUSTON is a good footbaw team, and will stay with Florida State. I am not one of them, even though I don’t believe the Noles are any great shakes themselves.
Semifinal #1 – Oklahoma v. Clemson (4:00, ESPN)
Fuck your branding, it’s not a bowl anymore, it’s the goddamned national semifinal. Also, the ESPN Deportes feed will be live on ESPN2 (for both semis), methinks I will pill up and watch as much of that as my brain can process. Viva! First team to 60 wins this one. Psst, it’ll be Boomer Sooner, not Coach Jeebus Camp’s crew.
Semifinal #2 – Alabama v. Michigan State (8:00, ESPN)
The scowling mofo pictured above is the good guy in today’s action, by a longshot. And there is absolutely, positively no change in hell the rankings weren’t manipulated to make sure Satan….ummmm, I mean Saban faced his old team. A marked contrast from the first game, if anyone hits 20 it will be a mild shock. But if anyone does, it will be Roll Damn Tide and we will all has the sads.
Do I really have to root for Clemson now?
Obligatory
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/ff/ffa1e089b8328988dde39800fc003bca6a6d488d32e64900b2f7791d70b967e4.jpg
If it weren’t for all the dropped passes Michigan State would still lose by being bad at football.
Connor Cook is like if you took the shittiest traits of Andy Dalton and mixed them with the shittiest parts of Kirk Cousins. And gave him Tony Romo’s brain.
Silver lining – Hippo gets to anti-socially go to sleep before midnight after all! I’ve taken my muscle relaxer and everything.
FUCK YOU 2015.
/not that 2016 will be any better
Looks like Michigan State’s got too many Cooks.
Oops.
so much for the hope they’d at least not be shutout, eh?
Yep. He telegraphed that so badly that I could have intercepted that pass, and I’m half drunk…and old…and fat.
Sparty’s got nuthin’
Mona Lisa from Parks & Rec is on Drunk History!! I has a wee crush…
She is the wo-o-o-orst
I made a Skyline-style chili for New Year’s Eve. Come at me.
No way, you might fart on me.
That was a hell of a catch.
Yup. As much as I don’t want to admire them, they’uns a footbaw machine. The announcers’ obvious hard-on for ’em is mighty annoying, though.
Sparty mascot getting a little handsy with the cheerleader there.
Central Waters Bourbon Barrel Barleywine (2013!) is yum.
The sight of that 450 pound man in the “enegry drink” body suit. shudder….
There’s no blowout that could be more embarrassing to Alabama than losing this game 3-0.
HOLY SHIT A GODDAMNED FIRST DOWN
I would drink every time they make a first down, but I’d actually like to get at least buzzed tonight.
Gentlemen.
yo. sufficiently bourble’d?
Man, I’m not even feeling it yet.
ah, to be young and have tolerance again. smh
Oh, no, it’s just that I’ve barely drunk anything yet. This is user error.
In between punts…Drunk History!
Ay yo. You all got me some news? What? No, what news do you got for me? You guys always have the news.
http://stuffpoint.com/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia/image/98332-its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-frank-sets-sweet-dee-on-fire-episode-screencap-3×8.jpg
Sunny becomes the rolling “reason to live” after Sunday passes.
Good lord…Connor Cook looks like a generic background cartoon character.
looks like??
Even great, almighty, and merciful BLEERGH cannot save Oklahoma. Trail of Tears 2: Electric Boogaloo
Clemson is serious not gonna pull a Clemson…TODAY
predictable much??
Godfuckingdamnit, I’m just talking to myself now, huh?
I do that all the time don’t worry there’s nothing with that.
I giggle everytime I hear “Peerod” – THAT’S HIS DICK, YO!!!!
WHICH THREAD IS THE FOOBAWL THREAD?!?
I still talky the footy here. Was eating pizza. May take a break to puke in a bit.
BTW, I like that Sweet Dee physique. Dem shoulders…
Also, hand boob >> underboob >> sideboob ,, imo godbless
Momentum? SHIFTED!
I gotta admit, I don’t know where to post anymore.
But yay Boomer Sooner.
Fuck you, Dabo and Co.
THEY SCORED TOO FAST
New thread up.
WTF was wrong with this one? Now I gotta click and surf and navigate and shit.
Fuck.
That’s a “general whimsy” thread. This is a FOOTBAW with general whimsy mixed in thread. BOTH ARE WIDE-ASSED OPEN!!!