As I mentioned previously, it’s been quite an off-season.  Similarly to the NFL, the first major event after the last game was the start of free agency.  That was promptly followed by the First Draft (yeah, I still don’t get that but I gather that the second draft is roughly akin to the NFL’s supplemental draft so it really doesn’t matter).   One cool ass thing that happened was the International Rules Series Test against Ireland which the Irish won on home soil.  I’m thinking now that instead of the Pro Bowl, the NFL should send its All-Stars to Staples Center and play the Arena Football League all-stars.  At the very least, Mini-Kiss could play the halftime show:

Oh yeah, and the schedule was also released.  Now, what has happened since then? READ ON!

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Something very big happened, actually.  Something that has greatly affected the 2016 AFL season before it even starts!  As you may or may not recall from last year, the Essendon Bombers have been under extreme scrutiny since 2012/2013 for a “nutritional supplements” program that was instituted by the club but which was deemed to constitute doping. The full timeline of events is here.  The tl:dr version is that, despite a successful appeal and a decision by the AFL to clear 34 Essendon players from charges, the World Anti-Doping Authority appealed to the Court of Arbitration for Sport in Switzerland and the court handed down full season suspensions for all 34 players that were on the 2012 team.  For the 2016 season.  Yes, you read that right.

Now, the somewhat bright side is that many of the players are already retired and out of the game, so the ban doesn’t really affect them.  The interesting part, though, is that there are 12 players still on the Bombers roster while 5 other players are on other teams’ rosters.  Yes, they are all banned from competing in 2016!  This article has a good breakdown of what will happen to the players and why the AFL has to abide by the Court’s decision.  The AFL has at least allowed Essendon to sign an additional 10 players to its “list” while still paying the banned 12.  The fucked up part is that the AFL has not allowed St. Kilda, Port Adelaide, Melbourne, and Western to sign additional players to make up for the banned players they will have to pay to not play.

So, the good news for King Hippo is that Carlton is not going to “win” the Wooden Spoon (awarded to the worst team in the league) this year!  Which reminds me, here is a listing of our DFO commentist teams/allegiances:

Commentist – Team

WhyEaglesWhy – Port Adelaide

Sill Bimmons – Sydney Swans

King Hippo – Carlton Blues

SunriseSunrise – North Melbourne Kangaroos

Balls of Steel – Geelong Cats

In future editions of the AFL Beat, I will provide season previews for all 18 AFL teams.  I highly encourage you to pick one and follow along with us!

And how exactly, you may ask, can one watch the AFL?  Well, it is at once complicated and remarkably easy.  If you are already paying for a premium sports package with your cable/satellite subscription that includes Fox Soccer Plus, you can catch select live games on late Friday or late Saturday nights.  When I say late, I mean LATE.  Games sometimes start at 1 AM or 2 AM PACIFIC.  You East Coasters can have breakfast with the AFL on some weekends.   Fox Soccer Plus also shows replays of games played on the weekend prior.

The slight hitch to that plan is that most cable/satellite packages do not include Fox Soccer Plus.  In fact, Directv, my carrier, doesn’t include Fox Soccer Plus as part of the normal sports package and actually requires one to pay $15 per month .  Fuck you very much.  Why would I pay $180 a year to watch 1 live game per weekend and maybe DVR some replays?

Last year, I paid $150 to watch the ENTIRE season, every game live on my tablet or PC via the Watch AFL app.  It was totally worth it.  The connection was reliable and the video quality was excellent.  If you have $153 (this year’s price) to burn on something that will entertain you while you are drinking late into the night for the ENTIRE NFL OFFSEASON, I highly suggest you do this.

Alternatively, you could do as I did this year and become an International Member of your chosen club!  For the low low price of $150 (less than the Watch AFL full season subscription!), I got the EXACT same Watch AFL subscription PLUS a Member merchandise pack that includes a member-exclusive cap and scarf, a lanyard, bumper sticker, 2016 fixture magnet and a 2016 Geelong Cats pen.  It’s pretty cool and it was shipped to me all the way from Australia for free.  Also, my money goes directly to the club to help support players’ salaries, stadium upgrades, and other club activities and not to a greedy owner’s pockets.

In fact, AFL clubs are actually run as corporations with Annual Reports and most clubs use a membership structure similar to those in soccer. This article does a good job of detailing why private ownership is not likely to return to the AFL and also sheds some interesting light into what really motivates NFL owners and why the fleecing of communities is so vital to the survival of the NFL model.

One thing to keep in mind is that all of these prices are in Australian Dollars!  That means, based on the exchange rates at the time of this writing, my Geelong International Membership is only costing me $107 US dollars!

The AFL Preseason, called the NAB Challenge, starts next Thursday, February 18 in Australia which means Wednesday night here in North America.  The defending three-peat champs, the Hawthorn Hawks, will take on King Hippo’s Carlton Blues at Aurora Stadium in Hobart, Tasmania.  Yes, that Tasmania:

It’s going to be fun getting into the details of all the non-human animals that live in Australia that can either kill you or seriously injure you.  Next week, I’ll start the first of my season previews, we’ll get a little into the rule changes in store for 2016, and my new weekly feature:  Better Know an Australian Footballer!

I leave you with a video giving you an overview of how the game is played.  See you next week!