![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio
On the WatchAFL app, we’ve got the Western Bulldogs facing the Melbourne Demons at 7 PM Pacific followed by the Brisbane Lions against the St. Kilda Saints. Of course, stories of drunken mayhem are more than welcome as well as pictures and music videos.
With that, I declare this thread OPEN!
This next fighter is from Fall River, MA, home of Lizzie Borden. He just walked out to a Madonna song. I am so rooting for him.
In the last few years, ladies’ teams have played footy wearing the colors of the two teams playing tonight:
http://www-static2.spulsecdn.net/pics/00/03/47/34/3473463_1_O.jpg
Nice contrast.
Also….Nice ass.
Stupid imgur…
ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD!
Western 27 Melbourne 8 at the end of the first.
This was my night tonight.
Every Kevin James movie summarized in less than eight minutes.
Can a posting mutant please post in reply?
Thanks!
I think being an ass man is a Mexican thing.
It crosses ethnic, cultural, and social boundaries.
Oh, shit. That reminds me. I saw the best vanity plate the other day, but now I can’t remember what it said. It was four letters and I thought it was funny it was on a Prius or something similar.
I saw one today that said “ARRGGHHHH”.
Seriously. I was jealous.
As I said, I’m more of an ass man.
http://static.wwtdd.com/uploads/2015/09/Candice-Swanepoel-New-Thongtastic-Treats-From-Victorias-Secret-10.jpg
That’s, right. You’re an ass, man!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
/shows self out
I’m really just grateful to be in the room.
Speaking of shorties with big boobs.
Sill just perked up.
Can you post the YouTube I just posted but can’t be viewed even though I can post actual articles here?
Thanks!
Did anyone else read the Reddit thing she did? She’s a hoot–sharp wit, bright, interesting, the whole package.
If I ever met her, I’d semi-seriously propose to her on the spot.
&key=bzGwLaPosoXqVHNR3RC3rg
IT SAID .gif!!!!
What’s posted above is a text approximation of the actual noises that would come out of my mouth as I attempted to say, “Will you marry me?”
I’d giver the whole package.
Hey-OH!!!!!
Seriously internet?
Not one decent Over My Dead Body .gif?
Despite their best efforts to rest everyone, Western is still leading Melbourne 26 to 8. Melbourne, I’m happy to report, sucks balls.
Fuck Melbourne.
And also…fuck those Hawthorne muddafukka’s too, while I’m at it.
Doesn’t look good for them.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/ce29e5db2fa2dff1c9d13de813e6e6ad/tumblr_o2w3mesNbC1rfh1a7o1_400.gif
What is this from? Because I want to watch the hell out of that movie.
Get Hard, I think.
Way ahead of you…I’m sure.
If you’re thinking, you’re not going to get there.
Now THAT was funny.
Anyone else gonna ask? No?
OK…me neither then.
Great minds…
Sill’s best tip for job hunting. Practice Practice Practice
http://x.imagefapusercontent.com/u/bfranke63/4354026/329817425/Simulated_5.gif
On a somewhat related tip, this is a real thing and actually pretty tasty:
http://www.bevreview.com/wp-content/featured_gatoradelimecucumber11.jpg
Cucumber water is delicious.
CUCUMBER WATER FOR CUSTOMER ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’d giver her a shot.
PHRASING!
I need to practice my photography…
Practice make pervert…..errrr…..perfect.
I image search a lot of the photos here if I don’t recognize the woman to see if a name pops up. This one? No name, just “filthy ginger.”
“filthy” is underrated as an adjective.
New way to get a git to show up, hopefully
http://56.media.tumblr.com/c3790d707c2c83c9cc62227743d90094/tumblr_o3ai1eaLtr1uqwtn9o1_540.jpg
I don’t know if it’s something everyone can see, but just about a week ago I started seeing DFO site stats and they fascinate me. My favorite part is the section of search terms which I presume are terms people entered to find this site. Some of my favorites:
“larkin love toilet sex”
“usa womens football wardrobe malfunction”
“south indian boobs hanging gif”
“tom brady combining performance enhancers”
I’m glad I don’t work for Google since I’d probably spend all day picking out the most bizarre search terms I can find and seeing what they pull up.
That second one is all me.
Wait, seriously? That’s kind of awesome in its own way.
I may be proudest that “Roger Goodell is a National Disgrace” was at some point a high search result.
If you google “Roger Goodell is a national disgrace”, DFO is the first three results!
Wait, what’s the fourth?
RayRicedotcom
Demons and Bulldogs are underway. Hardly anyone is playing for Western, so the D’s may have a chance.
I’m Idaho!
The No Pants Zone includes panties (pants is in the name, after all).
Careful where you sit.
ICYMI the last explosion. Shit got blowed the fuck up.
Oh, shit. That’s legit DHS/military-grade explosives testing
I have no idea what they’re using but I want some.
5,001 pounds of ANFO in a cement truck.
Oh, fuck. I googled “largest vbied” and read about forces intercepting one with 61,000 lbs. of explosives.
May all of you actually engaging in physical activity have this kind of training partner.
http://x.imagefapusercontent.com/u/Wyck/2185410/645235711/sports_Doutzen_Kroes_05.jpg
Oh, Indeed.
Back in the summer I reviewed Ballast Point Calm Before the Storm, which was good. Sixpoint C.R.E.A.M. is the same thing but more delicious and more full of alcohol.
Watching the end of Iowa/Michigan and the UM students are wearing bile yellow shirts that read:
WIN
THE
GAME
Seriously, the fuck is that for a slogan?
Good idea not to throw big words at the players.
Good point. Only saying one word at a time is important. Last time the coach reminded them to tie their shoes, the damned kids kept going to overtime.
I really wish I could like this multiple times.
Larger but unpostable (http://i.imgur.com/PbN97rG.jpg)
http://badsentinel.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Alison-Brie.-.jpg
This is an unpopular* opinion, but I would have sex with Alison Brie.
*This opinion is unpopular with Alison Brie.
Also, Alison Brie’s restraining order
Damn you, imgur. This is the only caprice I am interested in.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/f4800fc2cb4bb3a9b85e5097c8960200/tumblr_nyjecfIJfQ1tjd582o1_1280.jpg
She is lovely.
What does she do for a living, I ask with a straight face?
Porn.
Wow!!!
THIS IS TOTALLY NEW INFORMATION WHICH I DID NOT PREVIOUSLY KNOW.
You are asking if you have a straight face. I don’t think you do.
My face, and the rest of me at the moment, are about half in the bag. So I must relent I suppose.
Yay porn.
Celebrity siting at the MMA prelims was Gordon Ramsey.
We’re sort of reaching here.
Steve Irwin……….
http://57.media.tumblr.com/a720f020e746f789ef2f254a1dfbb69f/tumblr_o2nsiuT6jr1tc258so2_500.gif
Distant, old, and bad joke.
Zymm, you get arrows or some girl drawing cat hairs on him. Like 50 pics deep
OK…the arrows I get.
What’s up with the girl and the “cat” hairs part?
/just trynna understand
Google animated gifs of him
Do I have to?
/sonofabitch
Maybe I shoulda put “Avengers” in the search, huh?
http://www.animateit.net/data/media/77/hawk.gif
Added “Avengers”…got this…
(yay google)
http://data.whicdn.com/images/169836432/large.gif
It’s all comin’ up TED CRUZ tonight, assdicks!
They’d be better off genuinely voting for Zodiac
Just caved in and spent $60 hoping to see McGregor KTFO Diaz tonight, so you know the fight’s going to be over inside of a minute.
These Ted Cruz attack ads are hitting really close to home.
I would legit vote for a lizard person over a human Ted Cruz.
hey guys
THAT’S MY LINE
Zymm is hanging out, I promise I will give one for her in a min. I got distracted
Related: I’ve been a bit annoyed I’ve had to wait so long for new Archer.
Inorite?
Also for The Americans.
Hands down the best episode of The OC.
So I’m working up the video from Balls and me doing the 40 yard dash today – what music should I use? I’ve already done Chariots of Fire and the Rocky theme in previous years.
Benny Hill?
Very appropriate.
Slow Hand.
Daytona 500 by Ghostface Killah?
Since it’s Saturday Night, and this is a MAIN EVENT kind of thing, I’m going with this:
Rowdy Roddy Piper….WHAT AN ACTOR!!!!!
http://thepunkeffect.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/they-live.jpg
Is that Michelle Trachtenschtein…or whatever.
I like her, even if I don’t know her real last name.
Trachtenberg? Yeah, that sounds more correct.
Yes
Her eyes are mesmerizing.
oh my
I refer you back to my earlier comment on another thread…
Legalize the Nip.
So, CPAC is going on right now and I was just reminded the best part of any mass gathering of conservatives is perusing Craigslist for all of the closeted gays looking to hook up.
Related: SO MANY MEN WITH DICK PICS SEEKING MEN.
They booed Ted Cruz and walked out.
http://crooksandliars.com/2016/03/watch-cpac-attendees-boo-and-walk-out-ted
I hope he doesn’t do anything rash like throw a baby out a car window.
Isn’t it great watching that snake eat its own tail?
I will never actually bother to use this as sarcasic quotes, at the same time I would like you to assume I did
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/22000000/Rachel-Bilson-The-OC-actresses-22091783-270-204.gif
I need to leave the apartment at least once today. How do I look?
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2rwmxvnr11r7qk8ho1_500.jpg
Your onepiece is leaving unflattering tan lines.
Just saying.
They’re not tan lines. The rest of me is just getting lighter.
Michael Jackson? Is that you?
Nah….he didn’t have that kinda ass fo’ sho’.
Nah. I just don’t get as much sun as I used to. Mexicans get pasty, too.
Great!
I might not be over short women with awesome boobs from last night. I know this is a repeat
?w=474
Petite chicks is da bestest chicks.
So, earlier this evening I was driving to a baseball game b/w my beloved Wolven sort, and Bama. We won…fuck you Bama.
But I digress….
I got caught behind one of those little pussified chick SUV’s going about 5MPH under the speed limit. The vehicle in question had ONTARIO plates (in North Cackalacky….you shitting me?) and a huge Steelers decal on the back window.
So I know it was one of you shitheels just fucking with me. So ‘fess up…which of you Canadia Steelers fucknuts was it?
Jesus! On behalf of Steeler fans, I apogize for that moron.
I got no problem with the Stillers. Honestly, my Ravens brethren would shoot me for saying this, but they are my 2nd favorite team. When Colts left B’more (and I emigrated to PA for a while) I became a diehard fan for a while until the original Factory O’ Sad migrated and became purple camo goodness.
I even still have a Kordell Stewart jersey.
/hangs head in shame
But the whole chick SUV, Ontario plates, Steelers decal combo had me convinced I was being punked.
Today is going to be a good day.
She looks fun.
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