So I went to a WWE live event in Saginaw, MI, tonight and I am perplexed. The booking was bewildering. A quick recap.

Stardust + Tyler Breeze vs. Damien Sandow + Fandango working as faces: Sandow is over in a monstrous way. In a 60 second span, Breeze and Stardust bump eachother, start fighting, have a 1v1 match mid-tag match, hug it out, and go back to teaming. Fandango pins Breeze clean with a falcon arrow. Stardust carries Tyler to backstage Bodyguard-style. No idea.

R-Truth vs. Bo Dallas w/ Heath Slater: Bo Rida returns and starts an awful free style rap, which is cut short by R-Truth entering to THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE. No idea. Decent match. Truth gets a reverse roll up win. Heath Slater jumps him. Goldust comes in to make the save. Truth finally accepts his help, raises his hand, hugs him, and dances with him, apparently ending a 2 month long story arc at a random house show. No idea.

Sin Cara vs. Rusev w/ Lana – Sup, Lana. Ridiculously good match out of nowhere. Rusev wins in standard fashion. This match was way better than it had any right being, with a botchless Sin Cara flying all over the place. At one point, Sin Cara hits a sorta Angle Slam on Rusev. No idea.

Braun Strowman + Luke Harper vs. Dolph Zigger and Big Show: Big Show’s very existence in the arena causes MASSIVE APPLAUSE. Match was what you expect. Big Show gets hot tag, eventually hits Harper with chokeslam to win, leaves to MASSIVE APPLAUSE. As much disdain as I have for what they do with Big Show, it was nice to see him get that kind of love in the twilight of his career.

Naomi + Tamina + Cameron (WHY!? GOD! NO!) vs. Paige + Sasha Banks + Alicia Fox(?): Paige gets a big ovation, but Sky’s The Limit brings roars as the whole place jumps to its feet. Sasha is really it now. Standard 6-man women’s tag. Everyone hits their signature moves. Cameron gets a tag at the end while everyone’s having a free-for-all, attempts to roll up Sasha, but in such a way that she fails miserably and Sasha just sort of sits out into a Banks Statement for the win. I’m kind of hoping they’re intentionally writing Cameron as a bad wrestler now like they do Eva Marie.

Ryback vs. Viktor w/ Konnor: Kids lose their mind when Ryback’s music hits while adults give a collective meh. Match goes on way longer than it should. Viktor looks better than he has any right being, and fans in the front row make Ryback so pissed that he does “Suck It” gestures from the top row at the end of the match and gives them about 6 bras d’honneurs when he walks by them on the way out.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane in a street fight: People can’t WAIT for “Live in Fear” to come on so they can wave their cellphones around. Bray’s entrance is his RKO. It’s way more over than he is. The match was what you expect. Some amusing violence, and signature moves. Wyatt family interferes, Ziggler and Big Show come back out and chase them away. Bray hits a Sister Abigail for the win…At least that’s what happened in the better version of my memory of it. In reality, Kane kicks out from the Sister Abigail, sits up, and chokeslams Bray through a table for the win. Plucky newcomer Kane gets to look strong against the WWE’s top heel, and the Kirby that exists in my brain gets to flip tables all night.