Tony Bennett would like to take this oppotunity to talk about Jeebus for the next 45 seconds, before the standard litany of coaching cliches.

Overview

This bracket, I call it the Gruden Grinder. Lots of scrappy-assed, non-flashy teams. Besides Wahoowa, you have Tubby Smith’s Texas Tech, Butler (who kinda sucks), lumbering Purdue, fucking Gonzaga, Utah, Syracuse, Dayton, and of course…Sparty. The closest thing you have to a “glory boy” matchup is Iowa State vs. Iona in the first round, which could be a super fun game.

There’s a Lot of Opportunities…

Purdue. Iowa State is a good team, but Iona is a tricky 1st round matchup. The Boilermakers could easily see their road open up once, maybe twice if Tubby Smith works his magic. Plus, they could create matchup nightmares with their bigs for Virginia in the Round of 16, with a pro-B1G crowd cheering them on. You want bonus points in your office pool? Fucking Purdue, man.

What Have I, What Have I, What Have I Done To Deserve This?

Virginia. Jay Wright can take solace in the fact that he’s not Tony Fucking Bennett. Yeah, they got a 1 seed, despite losing the ACC final. But they get Sparty in their bracket again, after being bounced by Izzo two years in a row. And the location of that putative “third time’s a charm?” matchup…FUCKING CHICAGO. That’s just mean. Where’s your God now, Tony? Texas Tech could put up a fight in Round 2, and the Purdue/Iowa State winner would be pretty close to a coinflip matchup as well. Not an easy road in the slightest. You’d much rather be the 2 in this bracket, no matter how much you enjoy playing in your home whites.

Prediction/Confidence Level

Michigan State (Medium-High) I hate going along with the herd here…but FUCKING CHICAGO. Plus, I just don’t trust Utah, nor Iowa State without the Mayor coaching. Process of elimination, and coaching matters. Hey, fuck you. I still ain’t picked a 1.