Well folks, here we are. Down to four, only one #1 seed, but it’s the most evil one of all. Blatant bunch of academic fraudsters, complete with asshole coach who not even veiled subtly threatens minor reporters who dare call out his program and “university” on their bullshit. We need Karma to wake the fuck up, post-haste.
#2S Villanova vs. #2W Oklahoma (6:09, TBS)
Last season, when my alma mater made a surprising run to the Sweet Sixteen, Boomer Sooner was in our bracket. I was also in the habit of speaking solely in Soviet propaganda, as it had been good juju (along with our official talisman, Lenin Cat). As such, we found solidarity with Oklahoma as fellow Reds, and I also learned there are few phrases more fun to type than “Oklahoma Oblast:”
As Buddy Hield and the incredibly well-coached Sooners are the best bet to derail smug-mageddon Monday night, I am strongly urging Red Solidary again. Forward! For Glorious Workers’ Revolution!!
#10MW Syracuse vs. #1E U*NC (8:49, TBS)
Some have noted that Syracuse is also a “cheater” but that would be like equating jaywalking with triple homicide. Tonight, we are all scotchnauts. But I will probably be one from slumber, as I would rather get up early for the Leicester match than get pissed off watching the Holes win.