Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Rounds 4 and 5

In case you missed it, I was in Dallas last weekend visiting a friend and enjoying a lot of this:

and this

so I was in no state to write the AFL Beat.  Upon my return, work was crazy busy so my promised mid-week edition of the AFL Beat did not happen.  But fear not!  I have a robust

Interesting what a GIS for “robust girl” returns…

double edition here for you!  Let’s get right to it!

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Since this is an unusual week, I’m going to deviate a little bit from my usual format.  First off, let’s have a little talk about Hawthorn.

The reigning three-peat champs are undefeated after losing to Geelong in Week One.  Now, the way they’ve done it is the interesting bit.  Here are the last few minutes of the last three games for the Hawks:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJGVNSp0HgI

In all three games, the Hawks pulled the game out of their asses at the very end with the assistance of some mistakes from their opponents.  There are differing opinions on what this means for the Hawks as a team.  Are the Hawks riding a lucky streak that will eventually run out?  Are they counting on being able to “turn it on” at the end?  Are the Hawks that good that they can play poorly and still beat teams?

The answers to all these questions are all YES, but the thing that scares me the most is that the Hawks are playing badly and still beating teams.  If they can work out the kinks and play better, the close wins will be substituted by blowout wins and then look out.  It’s a long season, but this does not bode well for the rest of the competition…

Speaking of, it looks like Sunrisesunrise paid his Hippo-like penance with the Chargers possibly either leaving town or wanting to gouge the city of San Diego for a Billion dollars for a new stadium next to Petco and the convention center because the North Melbourne Kangaroos are the only team that is undefeated in the league!  The Roos beat the hapless Fremantle Dockers in Round 4 and followed that up with a rousing beatdown of the Gold Coast Suns in Round 5.  Let’s celebrate!

The Western Bulldogs have rebounded nicely from their last minute loss to Hawthorn in Round 3 to win their last two games over Carlton (sorry, Hippo) and Brisbane.  I’d like to say the Doggies did very well, but

Yes, I am equating the Blues and Lions to limp penises

One could say the same thing about the Geelong Cats’ victories over Essendon and Port Adelaide, but those teams are probably better than Carlton and Brisbane.  Not by much, mind you, but a little bit.

Here are all the scores from Round 4 as well as a nice highlight video showing the Top Ten plays of the Round:

West Coast Eagles 125-57 Richmond Tigers

Essendon Bombers 42-72 Geelong Cats

Hawthorn Hawks 87-84 St. Kilda Saints

Brisbane Lions 107-94 Gold Coast Suns

Carlton Blues 49-85 Western Bulldogs

Adelaide Crows 113-103 Sydney Swans

GWS Giants 151-65 Port Adelaide

Collingwood Magpies 67-102 Melbourne Demons

North Melbourne Kangaroos 132-101 Fremantle Dockers

The #1 hit of the week also came from the Brisbane-Gold Coast game:

The problem with that hit is that it is highly illegal.  It cost Steven May a five-game suspension.  Interestingly, he earned a three game suspension last year for another incident against the same Brisbane Lions.  Maybe he just doesn’t like Brisbane

Nope, that can’t be it…

***

This week, instead of meeting one particular AFL player, I’m going to present a video from a little bit ago of AFL players talking about their favorite crushes and celebs:

Some of them have really good taste. The funniest part for me was that Patrick Dangerfield picked Ellen.  Well, if Portia did, he can’t really be wrong, can he?

***

Here are the Round Five scores:

Hawthorn Hawks 112-109 Adelaide Crows

Sydney Swans 88-49 West Coast Eagles

North Melbourne Kangaroos 119-81 Gold Coast Suns

Western Bulldogs 120-67 Brisbane Lions

Port Adelaide Power 59-107 Geelong Cats

St. Kilda Saints 79-126 GWS Giants

Fremantle Dockers 68-72 Carlton Blues

Melbourne Demons 129-96 Richmond Tigers

Collingwood and Essendon are playing on Sunday night (live on Fox Sports 2!) in North America due to the ANZAC Day holiday in Australia

I’ll catch you up on the Pies and Bombers next week.

Here are some selected highlights from this week’s games:

After the break, the Cats took over the game and ended up winning by 48.  Maybe teams should not piss them off…

I always love it when primarily defensive-minded players score:

And I do love me some dribbling:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

PLACE TEAM P W T L % POINTS
1 North Melbourne 5 5 0 0 123.90 20
2 Western Bulldogs 5 4 0 1 173.50 16
3 Sydney Swans 5 4 0 1 154.80 16
4 Geelong Cats 5 4 0 1 149.40 16
5 Hawthorn Hawks 5 4 0 1 105.50 16
6 GWS Giants 5 3 0 2 130.30 12
7 Gold Coast Suns 5 3 0 2 121.10 12
8 West Coast Eagles 5 3 0 2 119.80 12
9 Adelaide Crows 5 3 0 2 118.20 12
10 Melbourne Demons 5 3 0 2 111.40 12
11 Port Adelaide Power 5 2 0 3 82.30 8
12 St Kilda Saints 5 1 0 4 79.00 4
13 Richmond Tigers 5 1 0 4 76.60 4
14 Collingwood Magpies 4 1 0 3 67.50 4
15 Carlton Blues 5 1 0 4 67.10 4
16 Brisbane Lions 5 1 0 4 66.70 4
17 Essendon Bombers 4 1 0 3 62.60 4
18 Fremantle Dockers 5 0 0 5 69.70 0

I formally apologize to Yeah Right for steering him away from the Demons and towards becoming a fan of the Dockers.  I still think it will be worthwhile in the end, but it’s a bit rough right now. PHRASING!

I’m beginning to see a clear separation at the #11 spot.  The big question is whether Port will join the big boys in the top ten or drop to the level of the bottom 7.  Next week should provide some answers.  Here are the Round 6 games (All times Pacific):

Friday April 29

North Melbourne v Western Bulldogs at Etihad Stadium (2.50 AM)

Melbourne v St Kilda at Etihad Stadium (8.45 pm)

Adelaide v Fremantle at Adelaide Oval (9.10pm)

GWS Giants v Hawthorn at Spotless Stadium (11.35pm)

Saturday April 30

Richmond v Port Adelaide at MCG (2.25 AM)

Geelong v Gold Coast Suns at Simonds Stadium (2.25 AM)

Brisbane Lions v Sydney Swans at Gabba (8.10pm)

Carlton v Essendon at MCG (10.20pm)

West Coast Eagles v Collingwood at Subiaco Oval (11.40pm)

The best games of Round Six shape up as North-Western and GWS-Hawthorn.  Luckily, the directional matchup will air early in North America, so we should be able to catch it without losing too much sleep.  One broadcasting note:  It seems that Fox Sports 1 will be showing some live games this year, so those of you without Fox Sports 2 can see some of the footy!  Details are here.  See you next week!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
sunrisesunrise

Not sure what I did to deserve this. A 5-0 start is quite unexpected. This week will be a real test. I believe Earth will be calling soon.

Spanky Datass

Put a reminder on my phone to try to find a stream of Lions v Swans this week.

/sadly has no plans for Saturday evening
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8zkn8u8qS1qev9wm.gif

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sounds like my night tonight. I’m just wandering around New York trying new bars solo. Could go for some AFL thrown in.

Doktor Zymm

It’s a rebuilding year for St. Kilda! I’m in my comfort zone. Though they actually do seem like they might be improving, so maybe it’s real rebuilding and not just excuse for being shitty rebuilding.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

It’s like a little, coin-operated doorway to Hell.

King Hippo

CARLTON MUTHAFUCKAS!!!!!!

One small 4-point win step for teh Captain…one GIANT FUCKING LEAP for Blueskind

laserguru

I can see why you likened Freemantle to the Vikings.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

DAMN IT.