Latest posts by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (see all)
- Your “The Sun Rises on the Factory” Saturday Morning Open Thread – February 16, 2019
- Request Line: Duets – February 15, 2019
- Request Line: Coffee is for Closers – February 8, 2019
INT. NFL DRAFT GREEN ROOM – EVENING
A number of gifted athletes lounge around on couches. A cellphone rings.
MYLES JACK: [perks up, glances at phone, looks deflated]
EZEKIEL ELLIOT: [smiles at JACK, shrugs] Guess we got the same ring tone. [answers phone, hops up and exits the room. In the distance, a pair of pistols are heard firing]
A half hour later…
LAREMY TUNSIL: [exhales…let’s say “a sigh of relief”. Yeah, “exhales a huge sigh of relief”] WHEW! [departs]
SHAQ LAWSON: [answers phone]
REX RYAN: [audible throughout the green room even though LAWSON is holding the phone to his ear] HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ FALLDOWN BOY? CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE IT TO US! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE ON STAGE, YOU’RE COMING TO BUFFALO!
SHAQ LAWSON: [grins, skips off to the podium]
An hour later…
VERNON BUTLER: [gets call, stands up, turns to mother] Finally! Wow, I thought I wasn’t gonna get taken until tomorrow. Sure would have been embarrassing to sit here this whole time and…[notices JACK]…um…[trails off]
Two hours later…
INNOCENT HONDURAN JANITOR: Todavía estás aquí?
MYLES JACK: [stands up, draws leg back to kick table, thinks better of it]
INNOCENT HONDURAN JANITOR: Mira el lado bueno – Cleveland elige primero mañana. Ellos necesitan un apoyador!
MYLES JACK: [weeps]
For today’s Request Line, let’s show Myles Jack a little sympathy and let him know he’s not the only one who’s ever felt like he’s been passed over. This week’s theme: songs of isolation, exclusion, rejection, and unrequited love.
Wait, what’s this? Are we really getting this Request Line started off with a double shot? YOU’RE GODDAMNED RIGHT WE ARE!