Request Line: Don’t You Want Me, Baby?

INT. NFL DRAFT GREEN ROOM – EVENING

A number of gifted athletes lounge around on couches. A cellphone rings.

MYLES JACK: [perks up, glances at phone, looks deflated]

EZEKIEL ELLIOT: [smiles at JACK, shrugs] Guess we got the same ring tone.  [answers phone, hops up and exits the room.  In the distance, a pair of pistols are heard firing]

A half hour later…

LAREMY TUNSIL: [exhales…let’s say “a sigh of relief”.  Yeah, “exhales a huge sigh of relief”] WHEW!  [departs]

Still later…

SHAQ LAWSON: [answers phone]

REX RYAN: [audible throughout the green room even though LAWSON is holding the phone to his ear] HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ FALLDOWN BOY?  CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE IT TO US!  GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE ON STAGE, YOU’RE COMING TO BUFFALO!

SHAQ LAWSON: [grins, skips off to the podium]

An hour later…

VERNON BUTLER: [gets call, stands up, turns to mother] Finally!  Wow, I thought I wasn’t gonna get taken until tomorrow.  Sure would have been embarrassing to sit here this whole time and…[notices JACK]…um…[trails off]

Two hours later…

INNOCENT HONDURAN JANITOR: Todavía estás aquí?

MYLES JACK: [stands up, draws leg back to kick table, thinks better of it]

INNOCENT HONDURAN JANITOR: Mira el lado bueno – Cleveland elige primero mañana. Ellos necesitan un apoyador!

MYLES JACK: [weeps]

—

For today’s Request Line, let’s show Myles Jack a little sympathy and let him know he’s not the only one who’s ever felt like he’s been passed over.  This week’s theme: songs of isolation, exclusion, rejection, and unrequited love.

Wait, what’s this?  Are we really getting this Request Line started off with a double shot? YOU’RE GODDAMNED RIGHT WE ARE!