Request Line: Don’t You Want Me, Baby?

INT. NFL DRAFT GREEN ROOM – EVENING

A number of gifted athletes lounge around on couches. A cellphone rings.

MYLES JACK: [perks up, glances at phone, looks deflated]

EZEKIEL ELLIOT: [smiles at JACK, shrugs] Guess we got the same ring tone.  [answers phone, hops up and exits the room.  In the distance, a pair of pistols are heard firing]

A half hour later…

LAREMY TUNSIL: [exhales…let’s say “a sigh of relief”.  Yeah, “exhales a huge sigh of relief”] WHEW!  [departs]

Still later…

SHAQ LAWSON: [answers phone]

REX RYAN: [audible throughout the green room even though LAWSON is holding the phone to his ear] HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ FALLDOWN BOY?  CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE IT TO US!  GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE ON STAGE, YOU’RE COMING TO BUFFALO!

SHAQ LAWSON: [grins, skips off to the podium]

An hour later…

VERNON BUTLER: [gets call, stands up, turns to mother] Finally!  Wow, I thought I wasn’t gonna get taken until tomorrow.  Sure would have been embarrassing to sit here this whole time and…[notices JACK]…um…[trails off]

Two hours later…

INNOCENT HONDURAN JANITOR: Todavía estás aquí?

MYLES JACK: [stands up, draws leg back to kick table, thinks better of it]

INNOCENT HONDURAN JANITOR: Mira el lado bueno – Cleveland elige primero mañana. Ellos necesitan un apoyador!

MYLES JACK: [weeps]

For today’s Request Line, let’s show Myles Jack a little sympathy and let him know he’s not the only one who’s ever felt like he’s been passed over.  This week’s theme: songs of isolation, exclusion, rejection, and unrequited love.

Wait, what’s this?  Are we really getting this Request Line started off with a double shot? YOU’RE GODDAMNED RIGHT WE ARE!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Fleetwood Mac – Second Hand News
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6Fdm3-dnr0

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am easily influenced

Johnny Cash – Solitary Man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OVHnWyDmdw

Duchess

Also this

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dixie Chicks – You Were Mine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttggMJeUAo4

Spanky Datass

Sorry about the sugary sappy-ness of this one but she’s a badass. Bonnie Raitt: I Can’t Make You Love Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_SIfLzccbc
Check-out that stylish, early ’90s TV show set!?!?!

Duchess

Never need to apologize for Bonnie Raitt

Link is broken but heres an Adele cover of it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vfj-peP6a7o

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Gorillaz – All Alone

Duchess

Maybe Sinatra could cheer him up?

Here’s to the Losers

Duchess

Before people start talking about whats the most Sinatra song ever, stop, Because it is not what you are thinking unless you are thinking “Don’cha go away mad”. Because only Sinatra could sing a song about cheating on his girlfriend and make you think “He makes a great point”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TIcOW9O8Hw

WCS

90% of Pearl Jam songs could make this one, including the entire Binaural album. Here’s a sampling from across most of their catalog:


Breakerfall (Binaural)


I Got Id/Shit (EP)


Red Mosquito (No Code)


Blood (Vs.)


Johnny Guitar (Backspacer)


Why Go (Ten)


Cropduster (Riot Act)


Pilate (Yield)


Low Light (Yield/Live at the Garden)

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Got damn, that’s a…

/Counts on fingers

Nona-shot!

Duchess

What no Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town?

WCS

Wanted some deeper, more obscure tracks to get some much-deserved attention.

Duchess

I will say “Footsteps” is probably one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs that doesnt get the recognition it deserves.

https://youtu.be/bHfDGBalOUE

JerBear50

Not obscure, but Black fits pretty perfectly.

Wakezilla

Oh shit! I forgot one:

Paulina Rubio’s El Ultimo Adios. A great song to drink tequilla or whiskey to if your heart has been trampled on.

Also, this video has everything you’d expect from Brazzers:

The video start off focussing on a hot Latina, laying in her bed, petting her pussy and gets her fingers wet. Then not satisfied, she opens up her laptop and starts watching home video of her and her ex banging.

After that, she isn’t even watching the laptop and starts rolling around, with her eyes closed. After she’s satisfied she decides to go out to the club wearing skimpy clothes and gets surrounded by 4 guys who aren’t wearing much, either. Then the ex shows up, wathing Paulina with 2 guys and nods his head in approbal. Then his hot new girlfriend shows up and she watches, and then the ex and her go to another room to bang. Paulina gets upset about this, and leaves her mmmf party to find her ex and watch briefly to go back to her MMMF party with people watching.

But Swerve! She’s actually back in her bed, squirming around as her ex is on her laptop watching her. Which ipsets Paulina, so she goes to the club for realsies, this time taking a barely legal with her. The barely legal disappears, but Paulina gets surrounded by a bunch of dudes who grind up on her. Then it ends with Paulina and ex going home together after Paulina works the poll, because Latinas are fucking insane.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNLU_A1d_60&list=PLY-2-EZRDTh3PDCEA7YnqQf41qUaW-p7n

theeWeeBabySeamus

Foar teh Hippo….
Tracy Lawrence – Can’t Break it to My Heart
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdowEoym0Cg
Tracy Lawrence – As Any Fool Can See
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3B3SNGNh-b4
Tracy Lawrence – Paint Me A Birmingham
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glI_rmZJv8
(fair warning….do NOT make fun of this last one)

Duchess

Cant tell me this hasnt made Jack’s playlist yet (Actually I’d believe it)

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I had it open more than once. I just have posted it too many times so I avoided doing so again. Excellent selection though.

Duchess

Not a Double shot, but pick your poison.
Metallica:

Or OG Bob Seger
https://youtu.be/XAbY2cmEsS0

theeWeeBabySeamus

Everlast – What It’s Like
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCZ1YteCv5M

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think I finally found the appropriate Myles Jack theme song after what happened last night

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH7jFmSEe_Y

Spanky Datass

CTRL-F’d this and nothing came up, so…
The Police: Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aENX1Sf3fgQ

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not trynna one up ya….but you stole the first of one of my double shots…..sooooo
The Police – I Can’t Stand Losing You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nH0vjLwMyc4

Spanky Datass

Most of The Police’s catalog fit this request line surprisingly well!

Spanky Datass
Duchess

Cntrl f doesnt work if we are already on the second page of comments

Spanky Datass

CTRL-F does work if I go to the second page.
It won’t work if there is no title/artist in the comment.

Duchess

true apologies

Duchess

Something a bit more contemporary… what it’s seven years old?

theeWeeBabySeamus

KD Lang – Constant Craving
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXqPjx94YMg

King Hippo

you see the cage it called
I said “come on in”
I will not open myself up this way again

you will not see me crawl
see me struggle to stand
to be acknowlegded by the touch of this gnarled hand

you see the cage it called
I said “come on in”
I will not open myself up this way again

theeWeeBabySeamus

‘Bout damned time. Now I can flood you with depressing Country.

Duchess

Most fitting song?
“Asking only workman’s wages
I come looking for a job,
But I get no offers,”

Fun fact for most my life i thought the line was
“By the Light, By the Li, Li, Li, Li Light”

Wakezilla

Biz Markie’s Just a Friend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aofoBrFNdg

No Doubt’s Don’t Speak
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR3Vdo5etCQ

Shakira’s La Tortura. . . Which gets bonus marks for some Shakira belly dancing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dsp_8Lm1eSk

Jojo’s Leave
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggWyUEuGcWY

and the creme de la creme, BSB’s Quit playing games with my Heart
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug88HO2mg44

theeWeeBabySeamus

Alanis Morisette – You Oughta Know
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPcyTyilmYY

Duchess

Lets not forget one of the greatest videos ever made.

theeWeeBabySeamus

One of my all time fav songs and vids.

Duchess

Hell even the dude from Slipknot/Stone Sour did a great cover of the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cncoJB_C-m0

JerBear50

Shit, almost the whole Heart Shaped World album fits the bill. Great fucking record.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Foar Moose…bcuz I know he loves my eclectic tastes.
Kelly Clarkson – Since You Been Gone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7UrFYvl5TE

theeWeeBabySeamus

And bcuz I want this stuck in all your heads like it was in mine for at least 6 months a few years ago.
Cher Lloyd – I Want You Back
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPgvNlrBfb0

Don T

Another pick your poison Double Shot, by Pulp

Isolation – The Fear
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxPu7XIX2Pc

The Friendzone! – Disco 2000
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJS3xnD7Mus

2000? Shit. Also good song for the decrepitude Request Line

2000? 20

theeWeeBabySeamus

Puddle of Mudd – She Hates Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbgT70vuyAQ
Puddle of Mudd – Blurry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im66_xLTZGM

theeWeeBabySeamus

Triple….
Offspring – Why Don’t You Get A Job
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxSEW3sUitA
Offspring – She’s Got Issues
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kenF3_77774
Offspring – Kristy Are You Doing Okay?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AULaJdMPmIw

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I try not to post songs from Wildflowers because it is probably my top high/drunk album while either happy/sad and I worry I mention it too much. I think it has been a couple months since I have posted any of them so I should be good and it fits the theme.

Tom Petty – Hard on me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtPvZ-bEm6U&feature=related

Tom Petty – Only a Broken Heart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhhahTmbClg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Seven Mary Three – Cumbersome
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjNn4bbbgSw

Don T

“I’ve never seen them, eat. All they do is drink and snort drugs”.

Was Dig! magnificent or what?

Don T

The White Stripes

I’m Lonely (but I Ain’t That Lonely Yet)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upkzGV8zag4

There’s No Home For You Here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEO6hYTsbns

Tough pickings between melancholy and rage

nomonkeyfun

Ani Difranco- Two Little Girls

https://youtu.be/EMdZaSa7Mwg

JerBear50

Damn, I like a lot of her stuff but I don’t think I’ve heard that one before. Good pick man. I really like You Had Time to fit this category too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwUSIhCZpT4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

When I was young, a long time ago, they played the shit out of it; one of my top hated song of all time, MHOAT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The lesbian version is SOOOOO much better, IMO.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnEyb4F3Su8

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

On that note I should not have mentioned it, as it is subjective anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, because of the way she sings it, but I see what you mean.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Double from my future wife.
(Fuck you Russell Brand)

Katy Perry – Circle The Drain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqarXvTf_jU
Katy Perry – Hot N Cold
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_FreDrOFd0

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Then how shall I show my love for you?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Single Malt scotch.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Frankenstein Drag Queens from the Planet 13 double-shot:

I Don’t Wanna Be Your Friend
https://youtu.be/TmSPipmnomg

Rambo
https://youtu.be/LDwn4tFlWFY

Lyrics NSFW, so crank it up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You homos gave up on double shots (giggity) way too early.
Hell I got double, triple, even one or maybe two double doubles in the queue.
Where the hell is Hippo????? I wanna stain his Country hating gray matter!!!!!!!
(hesitant giggity)
Phil Collins – Against All Odds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVjEcIANv1o
Phil Collins – I Don’t Care Anymore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6PNc9KN50M

theeWeeBabySeamus

Apologies. I started drinking early today.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nor did I intend it as an insult.
I mean….who among us hasn’t looked at that special penis and just….
/I should stop talking

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Original meaning.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Smells like fish.

nomonkeyfun

I love the taste of Acid in the afternoon.

ArmedandHammered

Rolling Stones – She’s So Cold

https://youtu.be/jo34VhfcetU

theeWeeBabySeamus

You are a horrible human being.
/may or may not be overcompensating bcuz I like the song

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
nomonkeyfun

Camera Obscura- French Navy

https://youtu.be/O3CkfvYMCWM

theeWeeBabySeamus

Linkin Park – In The End
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVTXPUF4Oz4

ArmedandHammered

Grand Funk Railroad – I’m Your Captain/Closer to Home
https://youtu.be/g8MYsii4DZY

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Biz Markie – Just A Friend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aofoBrFNdg

theeWeeBabySeamus

What the shit Lana????
Reply fail.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Cranberries – No Need to Argue
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_37AVnrqG0

nomonkeyfun

I can’t wait to tell my birding acquaintances that I’ve seen the rare Fozzbird.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

See, this is why I don’t trust birds.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s good.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Radiohead, How To Disappear Completely

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAF8D0ugyVk

“I’m not here / This isn’t happening.”

nomonkeyfun

Belle and Sebastian- Jonathan David
https://youtu.be/7TaHcNH9coE?t=1m7s

ArmedandHammered

Some more Patsy Cline:

I Fall to Pieces – https://youtu.be/iuZTk1hdpMs
Walkin’ After Midnight – https://youtu.be/bsRNCvHXHHU

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh