Your “Headshots for Everyone!” Tuesday Open Thread

A relatively slow day, given that the draft hangover should have cleared everyone’s head about now. (Irsay family excepted.) So, there’s very little by way of FOOTBAW news & notes:

  • Clearly delusional Broncos QB Mark Sanchez says it’s a “vote of confidence” that the Broncos drafted a QB rather than signing a veteran to compete with him.
    • The same article notes that Sanchez is the only QB on the roster to have thrown a “professional” pass, so I guess it’s good Von Miller got cut from Dancing With the Stars, because he’s going to need the study time if he wants the Broncos to finish above .500.
  • Hoo boy, Dana Stubblefield.
  • Nothing new on the Raiders to Las Vegas front, aside from a whole bunch of terrible puns masquerading as headlines.
    • One side effect of the debate, however, seems to be increasing the pressure on San Diego to approve the downtown stadium proposal.
  • Peyton Manning has decided NOT to seek a broadcasting job for the 2016 season, choosing instead to continue focusing on providing mid-grade pizza and #UpForWhatever to the legal marijuana community in Colorado. &#9835″Nationwide says pack-that-bowl.”&#9835

Today’s Open Thread contains a lot of hockey, and some politics, because there’s more of that on than football news today. Feel free to scroll down to the bottle of scotch if this fails to interest you.

If you are not watching the Pens-Caps series, you are missing what is essentially both a Stanley Cup final and the Bulldogs-Chiefs game from “Slap Shot”. There’s been some trash talking,

rough stuff in front of the net,

cheap shots in open ice

some goalie interference,

and general intimidation of each bench.

What the movie lacked was outright head shots, so the modern day players had to step up their game.

This is from Game 2:

This was a three-game suspension.

This is from Game 3:

A one-game suspension.

Both players didn’t have the puck when they got hit, and stopped being part of the active play. Orpik’s hit looks far-more dangerous, but at least he was following through on his man. Letang had to go find Marcus Johansson. If Letang isn’t suspended, expect Washington – if they get up a couple or down by a bunch – to go looking for payback. This is the kind of series the NHL wants, but is also afraid might get out of control and become a spectacle. The Blues & Stars are almost at this level, so if they can keep it clean, the NHL might fail their way into some ratings. I trust Gary Bettman to make the wrong decisions.

Have we reached this point yet?

Politics: Did you know there’s a primary today in Indiana? Ted Cruz sure does, because he’s doing everything he can to ensure he loses. From calling the hoop a “basketball ring” to announcing failed CEO Carly Fiorina as his running mate, he’s sure trying to hand victory to Trump while plaintively arguing he’s the best candidate available. This afternoon, in response to Trump’s insinuations that Cruz’s father was associated with Lee Harvey Oswald (WAKE UP SHEEPLE!), he called Trump a “pathological liar,” “utterly amoral,” “a narcissist at a level I don’t think this country’s ever seen” and “a serial philanderer.” Trump’s eventual response will be, “So?”

Meanwhile, the Democrats are still fighting their internecine battle, oblivious to the fact that their mutual political suicide is the only way Trump could actually win.

I wanted to make fun of Indiana in this post, so I googled “gravy museum”. Sadly, no such thing exists, but I did discover that the “National Mustard Museum” is located in Middleton, WI. Because it was near lunch time, I then tried to find a hot dog museum. The “hot dog” museum is apparently at “O’Bettys Red Hot” in Athens, OH, while Tony Packo‘s in Toldeo has a “hot dog bun” museum, which is more of an autographed wall of hot dog buns than a museum dedicated to cooked meat holders.

I totally forgot to visit there when I stopped in for a Mud Hens game. To be fair, at the time I was more concerned about going drinking with my acquaintance, Hens manager Leon Durham. I’ll take “drinks with athletes” over “famous hot dog” any time, if only for the quality of lady that visits you in such establishments and looks at your weiner.

Concerts: so you know what your parents & grandparents are talking about.

Malt of the Month:

Your Whisky Exchange “Malt of the Month” is the Lagavulin 1998 Distillers Edition. It’s an Islay, so if you like the taste of peat, this is the beverage for you – every sentence in the tasting guide references the peaty aroma. It sounds like an alcohol that tastes like the forest floor.

The games!

NHL:

  • Lightning @ Islanders – 7:00 (Series tied 1-1)
  • Sharks @ Predators – 9:00 (Ducks lead 2-0)
  • Stars @ Blues – 9:30 (Series tied 1-1)

NBA:

  • Miami @ Toronto – 8:00 – Game 1
  • Portland @ Golden State – 10:30 – Game 2

Kate Upton is engaged to Justin Verlander. SHE’S GOT SOMETHING OF HIS ON HER HAND!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
433 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Unsurprised

Luke Wilson played Goodell in Concussion? Come on. That role is perfect for Owen Dicknose Wilson.

Unsurprised

I didn’t realize that the Drowned God was Cthulhu, but it makes sense. This Ironborn plot should be fun.

WCS

WCS

comment image

Unsurprised

Impressive.