Your “They Just Fade Away” Friday Open Thread

NFL Notes:

  • Yeesh. Second-year Eagles WR Nelson Agholor is accused of raping / sexually assaulting a dancer at a strip club near the practice facility. Even worse for the Eagles is that there are reports of two other players with him at the club prior to the incident.
    • UPDATE (7:15 pm) – one story has the rape claim coming after a disagreement about how much the champagne room cost.
  • Oh – I forgot to mention the “Aaron Rodgers” rule yesterday. It’s a clarification of the rule that says if the coin doesn’t flip, it must be reflipped and the team that had the call cannot change their pick. There’s a Rodgers-is-gay joke in there somewhere, but it seems too forced to try and find it.

    “BUILD IT OR THESE KIDS DIE!!!”
  • The Chargers have filed a petition with over 110,000 names on it in support of a ballot initiative for their proposed new stadium. The fine print probably hooks each of those people for $1000 to help subsidize the stadium, which still sounds better than a Verizon contract.
  • A “Good news” story is Devon Still trying to catch on with the Texans, and his daughter Leah is running blocker on JJ Watt & Vince Wilfork.

Finally, Gawker filed for bankruptcy, so either we:

  1. Buy Deadspin; or
  2. Spam the comments and invite their readers over here.

That’s #UpForAnything thinking! You’ll notice the change when the scroll starts advertising for Hooters.


I “met” Gordie Howe twice in my lifetime.

Once was when he played for the Hartford Whalers, and I got his autograph before a Canucks game. I was 12, and raised on his legend. It was also just at the start of the Gretzky era, so it was at the time of the actual torch passing. In those days, the glass on the sides was only three feet high off the boards, so a little kid could stand on the edge and reach over to hand a player something to sign. Gordie was nice enough to come by the group of kids I was with and sign something for everyone. 

The second time was towards the end. He had been made a symbolic co-owner of the Vancouver Giants WHL team. But he took the role of mentor seriously. He came out 1-2 times a year and sat down with the players to offer counsel. I met him at a season-ticket holder handshake. He wasn’t the man he was, but he was still Gordie Howe. His handshake was still a crusher, and I still called him “sir”.

When it was announced that he’d died, those were the things that popped into my head. Not black & white memories of watching him win Cups, Cameron from “Ferris Bueller” wearing a Detroit Howe jersey despite the movie taking place in Chicago, or the stories from Ted Lindsay’s book “Net Worth” (a very good read) which talk about both his playing ferocity and his individualism, both which some players accuse of helping hold down salaries in the 1960s. It’s a 12 year-old kid meeting a living legend, and a 40 year-old man acting like a kid around that same person years later. There’s always going to be the legend, but I’ve got my own stories.

Because it’s a song with hockey connotations, here’s The Tragically Hip – Fireworks.

And because it’s about faded glory and I fucking love The Kinks, here’s “Celluloid Heroes”.


Tonight’s playoff action:

NBA: Golden State @ Cleveland – 9:00

Get to bed early, because Switzerland plays Albania at 9:00 EDT, which doesn’t sound bad until you remember that’s 6:00 AM Pacific time. I’m also meeting my neighbours at the Legion at 9:00 PDT for the Wales-then-England matches, because I talked a lot of shit during qualifying, and now I have to drink my words. SCOTLAND FOREVER!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s all over but the literal dumpster fires

Covalent Blonde

When does Bron Bron show everyone his dong? Wasn’t that little fashion faux pas Game 4 of the Finals last year?

Sill Bimmons
BrettFavresColonoscopy

QBERT!?!?

Covalent Blonde

That’s a happy goat!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ghostbusters Kobe runs like he shit his pants

ALXMAC

Death – Spiritual Healing

https://youtu.be/LAJQOeCSs_o

Spur

Welp at least you got football in a couple months Cleveland

Croooow

At least the baseball team is kinda sorta good?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Their biggest problem is that KC is on an 8 game skid, and they’ve only managed to go up 3 games.

ALXMAC

They swept KC, but who hasn’t recently?

ALXMAC

My Morning Jacket – Holdin on to Black Metal

https://youtu.be/Oc6IELrzpCg

Covalent Blonde

Floor hugs!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Btw, if you’re Kerr, do you pull Green to protect him or leave him in to fuck with Lebron?

Covalent Blonde

That’s a really good question. I would guess ride out the next 60 seconds.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

With this game seemingly in hand, I’d pull him and let Bogut finish it out. Why risk something stupid putting him one T closer to a suspension?

Covalent Blonde

Why is the “screamy woman” always the one best picked up by the mic’s?

Sill Bimmons

Because your sense of hearing is much more highly atttuned to high-pitched sounds, which are almost always sounds of danger or distress.

There just isn’t a whole lot of bass in nature so we don’t pick up on it above the median ambient noise like we do treble.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Plus, I bet she’s real bitch.

Sill Bimmons

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

T up Bron Bron!

Unsurprised

Being alone sucks.

Croooow

Cleveland just remembered they’re Cleveland.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Covalent Blonde

That is some limp-wristed flag waving, Cleveland

Sill Bimmons

Holy FUCKBALLS Nicasio

WCS

King Hippo

That…was not a good inning. Wonder if he still starts Sunday.

Sill Bimmons

All this with two fucking outs and a pitcher batting.

laserguru

I got myself all thrash metal earlier.
I knew it would end like this…

Covalent Blonde

That’s a damn fine way to end it!

ALXMAC

Hellhammer – Horus/Aggressor

https://youtu.be/0fJFVoUoBnw

ALXMAC

Metallica – For Whom the Bell Tolls

https://youtu.be/17HRV8k1YMw

Sill Bimmons
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not pictured: his post-surgery face

Sill Bimmons

At least he didn’t burn his ass.

All that sweet, sweet grafting tissue to fix his face was totally undamaged!

King Hippo

at least cripples make good firewood, apparently?

King Hippo

You don’t disrespect Waino’s bat like that ,, smgdh

theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t want to “like” this, but I also don’t want to not “like” it.
Such a dilemma.

King Hippo

He didn’t need them femurs.

ballsofsteelandfury

For BFC, and anyone interested in AFL tonight: Unfortunately, the Port Adelaide-Western game is on Fox Soccer Plus, which is not widely available. On the positive side, you have 35 minutes to find a bar that carries it! First bounce is at 8:40 Pacific.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Covalent Blonde

Nicely done, Iggy!

ALXMAC

Ariana Grande – Problem Ft. Iggy Azalea

https://youtu.be/1ROFzco2rz4

ALXMAC

Yeah I was lookin for a Ziggy Cartoon and this is unacceptable.

Sill Bimmons
theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Covalent Blonde

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Winner!
Winner!
Chicken dinner…..

Covalent Blonde

Isn’t she cute? Her name is Mumbles and was born without globes. So basically, those are prosthetic eyeballs!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who knew the dollar store carried medical implants and shit????
I gotta go in there and REALLY explore one of these days.

King Hippo

He smells MY elephant!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Guess there were nuts up there…

herodotus450

Well it’s good to know that the rules about reviewable plays are just as nonsensical in all sports.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game needs John Tesh

Covalent Blonde

So the one thing I have learned from these is that my ass should never try to do a back flip.

Covalent Blonde

I would be lucky to look that coordinated!

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Everything is funnier when a Spider-Man costume is involved:

http://gamerzintheshadowz.weebly.com/uploads/5/0/8/3/50830879/5647139_orig.gif

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hmmm, I made the second sazerac bigger and stronger than the first…

Sill Bimmons

There’s something strangely unifying about the flip fail .gif:

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Everyone in them did what they did of their own free will, fully aware of the consequences of failure.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Assuming he’s conscious, his next thoughts will go in this order…
Wow, my face hu…..Can’t breathe, can’t breathe…..Can’t breathe….ahhh…OK, that’s bette…
BALLS!!!!!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Things getting rough in Cleveland? Maybe they’re looking for a dry run ahead of the GOP convention.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pretty impressive in that cold weather

laserguru

DJ Taj brought this downstairs when he heard about Gordie Howe.
http://i0.wp.com/doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/IMG_0435-1.jpg?resize=300%2C225

He’s got a story too. The man touched a lot of lives.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Didn’t make my breakfast until 5:30pm.
2/10, would not bang.

Spanky Datass

That’s great clock awareness! GOOD HUSTLE!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, Balls, any AFL updates for us Comcast subscribers that are denied fox soccer plus?

ballsofsteelandfury

The Hawthorn Hawks beat the crap out of the Essendon Bombers by 108 this morning!

Tonight, in less than an hour, Port Adelaide hosts the Western Bulldogs. That should be a good game. Unfortunately, it’s on Fox Soccer Plus. Find a bar, maybe?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve been making myself cocktails at home. Only place I’m going is from couch to bed (maybe).

Sill Bimmons

And the Brock Turner rape case just keeps getting darker and more disgusting:

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/news/a59745/brock-turner-stanford-rape-texts-photos-breasts-assault/

“Following the release of Santa Clara County Sheriff Office’s full police report on Stanford swimmer Brock Turner’s sexual assault case, new and harrowing details are emerging on Turner’s behavior that night. Specifically, that he may have photographed his victim, Emily Doe, while she was unconscious — and shared images with friends in a group text message conversation.”

If this is true, every single person he sent those images to that didn’t turn him in should be tried as accessory to felony sexual assault and obstruction of justice.

WCS

But, think how negatively that would effect their lives!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Has anyone ever met a “Tristan” that wasn’t a douche?

theeWeeBabySeamus

While I’m not sure I’ve ever met a Tristan, I do know that my expectations would be appropriately low if I ever did.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Anatomically correct, tho.

ALXMAC

So my boy “Mitch” from the nearby liquor store asked me if I knew of any streaming sites for Fútbol. I WANT that 10% discount: is it ok to talk aboot that here? Are we #UpForWhatever?

Unsurprised

Well, onto the in-person stage next week sometime. I overslept and am so beat for some reason. I need to leave because I haven’t been as active as I used to be, but I don’t want to do anything right now.

ALXMAC

You mean you got to that “in-person” level? Cheers, Unsurprised. That’s more than half the battle.

Unsurprised

Yeah. I had a phone interview today and the guy seems excited to talk to me. I’m supposed to have a f2f interview next week. Hopefully, I’ll be working by the end of the month.

At the same time, a bunch of positions opened up for my actual career field. So we’ll see how that goes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tonight calls for my “make yeahright say damn” sazerac. Doused some sugar cubes with peychaud’s and some cherry bitters, mixed in some templeton over ice, poured into a glass I rinsed with absinthe.

laserguru

Damn