Your “Blax neglected to PUT THE TIP IN” Evening AFL-themed Open Thread

which his girlfriend may or may not object to.  It’s pretty funny that he’s hanging in on our Footy Tipping Contest thanks to Hawthorn, Sydney, and, of all teams, Collingwood winning on the road.  Do you dare press your luck tonight with

Adelaide visiting Carlton (8:10 PM Pacific)

North Melbourne visiting West Coast Eagles (10:20 PM Pacific)

and

St. Kilda Saints visiting Essendon Bombers (11:40 PM Pacific)

?

Shit, if I was blax, I might let it ride.  Your visual theme tonight, in honor of the Pies’ win, is cream pies:

You people disgust me.  I love you.

Have at it and try not to get banned.

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Brick Meathook

Oldie but a Goody:

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Brick Meathook

RABBIT STEW

Unsurprised

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Not the catsuits I expected.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JerBear50

Exposed beaver is not allowed on this site, sir.

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

Oooh. A new sports bar that charges stadium prices. GTFO

Gratliff

Holy shit. Nunez is a monster.

JerBear50

No shit. I don’t like Tate but I thought she’d hold the belt for awhile.

Unsurprised

Holy shit.
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Unsurprised

I’d kill for a donut.

JerBear50

Loudon Wainwright- Dead Skunk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu5hzc2Mei4

Gratliff

There’s zero chance Brock Lesnar doesn’t get murdered by a Velasquez or Overkeem.

JerBear50

I wouldn’t mind seeing him get smashed by Cain again.

Gratliff

He’d pretty much have to hope he slipped and climb on top of his prone body. He can still dominate when he’s on top, but watching Cain move earlier, I don’t see how he would last 10 seconds standing up against him.

JerBear50

Hunt’s also not that good a grappler, but Cain’s a great wrestler. That’s what fucked Lesnar up the first time if I remember right.
I have a feeling we may not see much more of Overeem with this new doping company. He failed tests even when they were much easier to get around.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Still not sure how she ended up in federal prison, at least in federal minimum security.

Brick Meathook

If I’m to believe my firearms safety lessons from both the Boy Scouts of America and the Unites States miltary: even if it’s in a box, that’s unsafe behavior.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

MUZZLE DISCIPLINE!!

THAT WHAAAAAAR SHE SAID!!!

Gratliff

“Brock is just outstanding at riding guys.”
– Joe Rogan

Gratliff

I dunno. I wasn’t sure if Brock was going to be comfortable in a UFC ring again, and him calling spots while in the clinch definitely has me concerned.

Unsurprised

Sounds like a rousing female soccer game outside. Google tells me the Thorns are losing to KC, though.

Doktor Zymm

Bah, etc

Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

OZ RULZ TIGHT

Gratliff

I respect Daniel Cormier’s strategy of “Dry hump the man until his spirit breaks”

JerBear50

Silva may be past his prime, but he’s the most dangerous striker to ever walk into that cage. Cormier would be an idiot to try and stand with him. I hate watching fights that are just gnp, but I can’t blame him in the slightest.

JerBear50

Really wish I was at a bar watching this card.

Gratliff

Cormier tried to throw hands for about 4 seconds and got kicked in the head for his troubles before noping Silva right back down.

JerBear50

They must have backed up a truck full of cash for Silva to take this fight.

Gratliff

And he still may have won it if it had one more round. He fucked him up with a body kick with like 30 seconds to go. Cormier had to hold on to him for dear life when he went in for the kill.

Unsurprised

I hate everything.

Sill Bimmons

Make better things happen.

blaxabbath

Also, the fiancee is hanging with her gal pal at whatever hotel room downtown she has while in town. I was going to go to the Arena FL game tonight but then it started and I hadn’t gone so I didn’t. I really want to start on my reviews of Sunday Gravies (gravys?) but my new kitchen won’t be online until end of the week. So I don’t know what to do tonight.

Also, my fiancees uncles came by today (“we wanted to check out the kitchen”) while I was out and I find out that the one tells my contractor some bullshit about how I can’t demo the ceiling vent (where I am having a recessed light placed) because I have a stove (the vent is, literally, a 4″ x 6″ hole in the ceiling that has no fan) even though I’m putting a microwave with a fan over the stove (which her uncle probably wasn’t aware of). I kind of brushed it off (“Don’t fucking listen to a thing those guys say to you.”) because they’ve always got some kind of BS $0.02 to offer (when they dropped by to see our new mounted television, the response was, “I don’t know, I just don’t care for Samsung.”). But then I find out that they went back into our laundry room and lectured my fiancee (“I’m sorry but I just have to say…”) because there is bag of quilts near the water heater. Which, granted, they shouldn’t technically be there but (1) that’s nitpicky, (2) I think he brought it to her attention in a very tactless way, (3) what the fuck was he doing in my laundry room? When I go to someone’s home, I stay out of of their master bed/bath, laundry, and if they have an office, unless I’m invited.

So I told her they could just stop fucking coming by then because I’m sick of their shit. I’m sure it’s not going to stand but I’m like, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

Unsurprised

We should Kickstart a fitbit heart monitor to track blaxabbath as he gets closer to the wedding.

blaxabbath

What’s the cheapest kickstarter to ever get funded? Aren’t those like a hundred bucks?

THIS MOVE COULD REALLY PUT [DFO] ON THE MAP!

Unsurprised

Well, I’m not buying one for you.

herodotus450

Is it too late to give up on that house and buy one much, much farther away?

blaxabbath

They moved to near us!!!!!

Unsurprised

Burn their new house down.

Doktor Zymm

I’m normally against PDA’s but when the males are this unattractive, it’s more an affirmation of the survival of the species to see they can get laid

Unsurprised

See above re: I hate everything

...

Like, Roger Ailes ugly?

...

I’ve had an exciting night of folding laundry. Folding laundry is easily my least favorite chore.

Gratliff

By folding, you mean shoving it into dresser drawers at random, correct?

blaxabbath

Random? The system is to jam it all in whatever drawer seems least full.

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...

Tonight was the first night I actually folded AND stored laundry. I’ve resorted to just dumping things in piles and sniffing it later to see whether it was fit to wear.

I am an animal.

Doktor Zymm

So this place filled up in a goddamn second. From zero to fuckers in record time.

Doktor Zymm

So that’s what alfredo sauce is for

Sill Bimmons

Yep.

JerBear50

We told them you were there just to fuck up your night.

Shogun Marcus

Too many dicks on the dance floor? I mean it’s a gay bar so one would think.

Sill Bimmons

Tragic pace of play:

http://i.giftrunk.com/9htw23.gif

blaxabbath

It’s nice to finally get noticed in a post around here (looking at you HRTN).

Also, she’s my fiancee.

Also, I have no clue how AFL picks work. I go straight chalk every week so either the casinos down there are fucked or you’ve just got a bunch of degenerates who are pushing the lines all over the place each week.

Also, I follow the Melbourne Rebels on facebook (I have no idea why — I like to be exposed to other cultures or something) and wanted to know if Aussie players ever make the jump between rugby and AFL, similar to how many TE’s have basketball backgrounds (in case you hadn’t heard)? I’ll take your response off the air thanks.

JerBear50

Everyone frgts but Antonio Gates wasn’t even a football player in collage.

Sill Bimmons

I can’t even describe the wonder of living a year in Sydney.

When I first went round Admiralty Point on the ferry and was greeted with this:

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Yeah, not too bad…

Shogun Marcus

Anyone have a “Hot Take Incoming” meme? I feel after all the things I’ve seen this week it is both what we need and deserve.

Gratliff

Incoming? I can barely get past my computer boot screen without a taek popping up. What a shit fuck week this has been.

JerBear50

Following the fight on a live blog. Is it as good as it sounds? Aldo/Edgar was the fight I really wanted to see off this card.

Shogun Marcus

You don’t even need a computer! They’re everywhere. My brain has been assaulted so many times. It IS an open mind most times but NO MEANS NO. No more.

Doktor Zymm

Hah, they’re playing It’s Raining Men!

Doktor Zymm

I made a sprinkler of men joke and the bartender responded by saying that’s what it’s like every night. I like this place

Doktor Zymm

Oh, this aint a gay bar, I’m in Old Town, not Boys Town

Unsurprised

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Sill Bimmons

One of the more interesting things you learn when you quit drinking is how eager family, friends, et&c are to offer up your Designated Driver services for evenings out.

We’re perfectly happy to do it, but could you at least ask us instead of saying HEY __________ DOESN’T DRINK ANYMORE THEY CAN DRIVE WOO

The foregone conclusion stings a little.

Doktor Zymm

You are free uber, congrats

JerBear50

I can barely stand being around drunks when I’m drinking, let alone completely sober.

blaxabbath

DUIs aren’t a joke.

Sill Bimmons
Shogun Marcus

Agreed on all fronts. We know we’re going to end up doing it, and that’s fine I prefer getting home alive too. But show a little respect at least.

Unsurprised

Stone Mocha IPA is pretty damn good. I’m not sure about paying $3.50 per bottle for it, but only because I’m cheap.

Unsurprised

True. This is per 12 oz bottle. Also it was more expensive because I only got three and not a sixer and they charge more if you don’t pay with cash.

Unsurprised

I went to a bottle shop. I knew what I was getting into. It’s probably cheaper elsewhere.

...

I dropped $7.50 per 12 ounce bottle for a small release barrel-aged beer today, but I’m also known to be an idiot.

Gratliff

I think they just booed DeMarco Murray.

Unsurprised

That’s bad

Unsurprised

Does the booing come with free yogurt?

Doktor Zymm

Will Smith has such an amusing career trajectory. I’m really easily entertained today

Unsurprised

Pot?

Doktor Zymm

Nope,this is pretty normal, I’m just sharing more and have novel stimuli

Unsurprised

Sorry. Defense mechanism

Sill Bimmons

Everyone seems to be changing avatars.

Reason?

Gratliff

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Also, Chris Pronger is finally technically not a Flyer

Sill Bimmons

Your textual reasoning makes far more sense to me than your visual metaphor.

Gratliff

My favorite Overwatch character. He’s a world famous DJ/guardian of earth.

Sill Bimmons

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Gratliff
Sill Bimmons

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Doktor Zymm

These are actually really smart nachos. They made a bowl out of the chips, melted the cheese on, and put the veg, lettuce, tomato, onion, jalapeño in the chip bowl. Guac etc on the side. No sogginess at all. Damn fine nachos.

Gratliff

I sometimes forget what a terrifying human being Cain Velasquez is. Fuck.

JerBear50

Stuck at work. I assume he’s kicking the shit out of Browne?

Gratliff

He is faster than I remember him. He’s throwing wheel kicks and shit.

JerBear50

He was fairly young and not that well rounded when he started, but he’s had a lot of years to train. He’s still young enough to be dominant for a long time if he can stay healthy and his striking is that much better.

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

Unsurprised

Price of going out and overeating is taking a shit that made me want to lay down (I’m only sitting down and not walking to Powell’s like I was going to do).

Unsurprised
Gratliff

Alright, time to watch ridiculously large men maul each other into oblivion. Civilized society, everyone!

WCS

Doktor Zymm

Places that will charge $8 for a well vodka drink still charge less than that for fucking giant nachos. Markup disparity.

Doktor Zymm

Also, we’re on to boy bands. Is hanson still musicing?

Doktor Zymm

This bar has amusing music. We just went from Billie Jean to Who Let the Dogs Out to a Chris Brown remix of Salt and Pepa

Senor Weaselo

Are you live-blogging your date?

Doktor Zymm

Nah, that’s tomorrow. But maybe.

Doktor Zymm

Yup, brunch I believe. And I got separate dinner plans. My apprehension at going on dates at all is shining. Seems like a fun kid, it’s really a shame I have shitty social skills.

Doktor Zymm

Nah, I enjoy the occasional solo dinner at a really nice restaurant. Was going to do it tonight but booked too late.

JerBear50

Ahh damn. Thought we were gonna have a Zymm/Jack Tripper liveblog.

...

I eagerly await this.

Gratliff

TIL reading the comments section on a Kotaku article about the dangers of playing Pokemon Go while black is a mistake. The crazies are definitely coming out of the woodwork on all sides now. It’s like America’s doing a gritty remake of Blazing Saddles with none of the humor or irony or self-awareness. Still has all of the guns, though.

Gratliff

That was the correct response. I dove deep. Something, something, the abyss gazes also into you.

Horatio Cornblower

Yo where are the white women at?

Unsurprised

Your first mistake was Kotaku