INT. JACK DEL RIO’S OFFICE – DAY
JACK DEL RIO: [sitting behind his desk] …you know that it’s nothing personal.
KEN NORTON, JR.: [seated in a chair flanking the desk] Yeah, I know. Maybe it won’t be so bad. All of his old teammates are already gone.
DEL RIO: It’s an embarrassment of riches, is what it is.
NORTON: I just hate this part, is all.
DEL RIO: You and me both, buddy. [to intercom] Okay, send him in.
— [door flies open] —
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
NORTON: That’s right, we did want to see you. Come on in, kiddo.
DEL RIO: I hate to be doing this so early, but I’m also not going to waste your time. You’ve been cut.
EMPTY PAINT CAN: [incredulously] …?
DEL RIO: Well the question was whether or not Mario Edwards Jr. was going to be healthy. And he is.
EMPTY PAINT CAN: [bitterly] …
NORTON: That’s not true, the fact that he’s a fellow Junior has nothing to do with it.
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
DEL RIO: Come on, don’t…
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
NORTON: Now you’re just embarrassing yourself.
DEL RIO: Get it together man.
EMPTY PAINT CAN: [takes deep breath] …
DEL RIO: It’s fine, it’s fine.
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
DEL RIO: Apology accepted. We’ll chalk it up to your never-say-die attitude.
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
NORTON: Yeah, we’ll get your workout bonus squared away, you don’t have to worry about that.
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …?
DEL RIO: Of course! Anybody calls me up I’ll tell them you’re worth bringing in.
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
NORTON: On your behalf? That’s your agent’s job.
DEL RIO: I don’t have time to call thirty teams. I’ve got shit to do. I tell you what – I will call THREE teams and put in a good word for you. Who ya got?
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
DEL RIO: The Bears? No problem. I used to work for John Fox; I’ll give him a shout. Who else?
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
DEL RIO: [perplexed] The Astros? I didn’t realize you played baseball in college. Sure, I’ll give ’em a call if you want, I don’t know if I’ve got much clout with…
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
DEL RIO: In the NFL? Since when?
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
DEL RIO: All right, well, find me a number that’s not 555-something and I’ll give them a ring. And for wish number three?
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
DEL RIO: Are you sure?
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
NORTON: It’s just that they’ve already got a bunch of new bodies in camp. Going to be hard to get them to take a serious look at you.
EMPTY PAINT CAN: …
DEL RIO: Okay, okay, it’s your decision. I’ll call…but I can’t promise anything.
Meanwhile…
HUE JACKSON: HELLOOOO CLEVELAND!
Get him to Green Bay and Rodgers will make sure he’s got a job. He’s always looking for a can to get behind.
So this is some kind of pinkwashing joke?
http://speedendurance.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/World-Relays-4x1500m-Crash.gif
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs1/3985077_o.gif
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yB65N5lwGq8/VcwTuZHipbI/AAAAAAABRro/cucj_DOehjs/s1600/7.gif
I don’t know what her finish time was but I set a personal record!
http://www.msn.com/en-us/foodanddrink/restaurantsandnews/the-smithsonian-is-hiring-a-craft-beer-scholar/ar-BBuTzTc?ocid=ansmsnfood11
http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1106930/GOODWINBLOCK.gif
Great block. LOFTY block.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/bill-oreilly-slaves-that-built-white-house-were-well-fed/ar-BBuX1eV?ocid=ansmsnnews11
Actually makes for a valid point (in general) considering how many jobs don’t even pay a livable wage. We’re subsidizing housing, meals, etc for Wal-Mart workers because their paychecks are too slim for them to survive. I mean, obviously slavery isn’t good or whatever — but it’s not a *great* time to be the poor working class either.
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/ea/ea919e1d0134cfb5c79081152c11e227fb166e53d7b8e1b9185e3659ae84f689.jpg
“I mean, obviously slavery isn’t good or whatever ”
Forced servitude is a whole different fucking ball game, jesus fucking Christ!
ppl forget that
I suppose it might, if that was the point that O’Reilly was actually making. But I’m pretty sure his was just his monthly submission in the ongoing “Biggest Asshole in the Universe” competition where he’s really just running up the score at this point.
Hannitys never say die!
I wouldn’t minds if someone said it for him, violently.
Per Pro Football Focus, Can is a serviceable A-gap plugger on running downs, though hot routes on blitzes usually go his area, and his propensity for tripping fouls is a liability. Otherwise, a famously patient listener and his 32 still leads all D linemen who’ve taken the Wonderlic.
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/andre-giant-drink-mind-blowing-amounts-alcohol-article-1.2728093
He does have some character concerns, though, mostly related to some dubious associations from his past.
Empty Soda Can with Bee Stuck Inside is still gonna make the roster though, right?
The bee gives it tenacity.
Nowhere near as gritty as Tupperware Container Full of Cat Litter, though.
I haven’t felt this bad for a camp casualty since the death of Sparano’s Football.
“……”
Fun fact: Camp Casualty is what the rookies call Jacksonville’s training facility.