Your “Not Quite Heroin; More Like Methadone” Monday Open Thread

NFL News:

Lookit these #UpForAnything fellas!
  • Florio is retreading a report that the NFL is considering the Rams & 49ers in China for the 2018 season’s first game. The main article is hidden behind a paywall that demanded too much info, but the gist I caught was that the League would make this the Thursday Night opener, in order to give maximum travel time for both teams.
    • Note: It would be the Rams giving up the home date, which makes sense given that they’ve already been granted a future Super Bowl.
    • Wanna melt your brain? Check out nflchina.com, the League’s official site.
  • The Blaine Gabbert – Brock Ostweiler matchup was considered “underwhelming”, but the Niners did rack up over 200 yards of rushing, which is what you want in a pass-first offence that couldn’t beat something called the “Texans”.

Speaking of nuggets, guess who claims partial credit for this?

If you said “Ray Lewis”, you’ve won a free Baltimore necktie and a personal tour of Balto from a Mr. Omar Little.

I mean – I guess they’re friends. Either that, or Ray Lewis is Blacula.

Exhibit B. Exhibit A was left behind outside the Cobalt Lounge.

Who’s back at work this week? Notables include:

  • Karlos Williams – cleared for Bills practice
  • Josh Gordon – off the inactive list
  • Ezekiel Elliott – walk-through’s only
  • Terrell Suggs – non-contact drills

Finally, WHO GOT HURT? Names/injuries of note:

Finally, ESPN has the important story of the day – new French fry offerings at stadiums for 2016. Their #1 is the “Chicken & Waffle Fry Stak” offered in Phiadelphia.

Looks heart-stopping. Probably costs $20. Two of the Top-5 are in Cleveland, so angina might be a valid escape plan for Browns fans this season.


In lieu of in-depth analysis of the first preseason games, I will instead leave you with this poem about addiction. Because even though we knew they would be garbage, we still (mostly) tuned in like the addicts we are.

Drug of Choice - Evets Pordlaw

You are my drug,
My substance of choice,
The chemicals in my blood…
She, who calms the violent voice…

Without you; I tremble,
I stammer and I shake…
When you are near; I fumble,
Within my soul; I quake…

My addiction; that is you,
Is fire in my veins…
My affliction; I infuse,
Only thoughts of you remain…

There is no rehab for this pleasure,
No exception for this high…
A single dose cannot be measured,
In your absence I would die…

Strung out for life…
Dependant to the core…
Powder, pills or liquid,
I need you more and more…

Should I ever be denied,
Unto death I would depart…
For methadone could not subside,
These track marks on my heart…

I’m sure drug references have already been a topic for DFO Radio, but check out the playlists for something new to listen to. The recommendations for The Avett Brothers was a good one for me.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB: Royals @ Tigers – 7:00 (ESPN)
  • Olympics:
    • 8:00 – NBC Primetime: track, beach volleyball, women’s gymnastics
    • 9:30 – OLN: France vs Brazil volleyball; men’s heavyweight boxing final

Remember when doing your Google image searches,

 

ONE OF THEM IS 16!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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[…] used this type of headline before. I regret […]

Unsurprised

I wish Drew gave an outright shout-out to DFO for the Jim Caldwell/Lamp comparison. Zodiac MF also killed it with his email.

So, this sucks. I’m going to miss everything fun by being at work.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, I wasn’t planning on masturbating tonight….but…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You may wanna skip back a page…….

theeWeeBabySeamus

Suddenly, I feel scared.
/clicks “older comments”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Either too drunk, too stupid, or too sleep deprived to figure it out.
But…Dick in a Box…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwCbbMgp3Lw

theeWeeBabySeamus

Suck it Harry.
/sounded better in my head
comment image

WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you, interwebz

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NSFW, maybe.

h
ttp://www.gagreport.com/Funny_Pictures/GIFS-2/Frosted_flakes.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!
da Fuq??????

WCS

Sill Bimmons

comment image

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Christmas in July?
/checks calendar
//Dammit
comment image

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

da Fuq?

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, time to turn it up a bit, before my old ass passes out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Gg4QZNOAco

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

He gotta get dizzy soon, no?

Fronkenshteen

“Ray Lewis once watched a guy die and did nothing” is a great tag.
http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/697157/83045437.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hated these guys initially, but they’re growing on me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ruI54SJzes

Mr. Ayo

Ok, wow, I really underestimated your early warning.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh…I got over the hangups long ago.
For example…I know some of my musical tastes, according to others, are totally fucked.
I like what I like.
You like what you like.

Closing myself off to any possibility isn’t something I’m willing to do these days.

Porky Prime

How did Robert Plant sneak in there on the right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Charlie Day on the far left.
Just saying.
😉

theeWeeBabySeamus

You assdicks think I pissed you off last night?
Prepare your anuses…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvGk506ucEk

Sharkbait

The fuck is Shaun White doing at the Olympics?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well the half pipe is his event….
/checks calendar
//The fuck is Shaun White doing at the Olympics?

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Sharkbait

Better late than never should not exist.

Spanky Datass

Thank you for being a friend.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23GrEhLUF_k

JustStopDude

Larry Wilmore’s show has been canceled.

Mother fucker…a brother can’t have shit. I’m still bitter about In Living Color getting canceled but SNL can crap along for decades…

theeWeeBabySeamus

smgdh