Your “Not Quite Heroin; More Like Methadone” Monday Open Thread

NFL News:

Lookit these #UpForAnything fellas!
  • Florio is retreading a report that the NFL is considering the Rams & 49ers in China for the 2018 season’s first game. The main article is hidden behind a paywall that demanded too much info, but the gist I caught was that the League would make this the Thursday Night opener, in order to give maximum travel time for both teams.
    • Note: It would be the Rams giving up the home date, which makes sense given that they’ve already been granted a future Super Bowl.
    • Wanna melt your brain? Check out nflchina.com, the League’s official site.
  • The Blaine Gabbert – Brock Ostweiler matchup was considered “underwhelming”, but the Niners did rack up over 200 yards of rushing, which is what you want in a pass-first offence that couldn’t beat something called the “Texans”.

Speaking of nuggets, guess who claims partial credit for this?

If you said “Ray Lewis”, you’ve won a free Baltimore necktie and a personal tour of Balto from a Mr. Omar Little.

I mean – I guess they’re friends. Either that, or Ray Lewis is Blacula.

Exhibit B. Exhibit A was left behind outside the Cobalt Lounge.

Who’s back at work this week? Notables include:

  • Karlos Williams – cleared for Bills practice
  • Josh Gordon – off the inactive list
  • Ezekiel Elliott – walk-through’s only
  • Terrell Suggs – non-contact drills

Finally, WHO GOT HURT? Names/injuries of note:

Finally, ESPN has the important story of the day – new French fry offerings at stadiums for 2016. Their #1 is the “Chicken & Waffle Fry Stak” offered in Phiadelphia.

Looks heart-stopping. Probably costs $20. Two of the Top-5 are in Cleveland, so angina might be a valid escape plan for Browns fans this season.


In lieu of in-depth analysis of the first preseason games, I will instead leave you with this poem about addiction. Because even though we knew they would be garbage, we still (mostly) tuned in like the addicts we are.

Drug of Choice - Evets Pordlaw

You are my drug,
My substance of choice,
The chemicals in my blood…
She, who calms the violent voice…

Without you; I tremble,
I stammer and I shake…
When you are near; I fumble,
Within my soul; I quake…

My addiction; that is you,
Is fire in my veins…
My affliction; I infuse,
Only thoughts of you remain…

There is no rehab for this pleasure,
No exception for this high…
A single dose cannot be measured,
In your absence I would die…

Strung out for life…
Dependant to the core…
Powder, pills or liquid,
I need you more and more…

Should I ever be denied,
Unto death I would depart…
For methadone could not subside,
These track marks on my heart…

I’m sure drug references have already been a topic for DFO Radio, but check out the playlists for something new to listen to. The recommendations for The Avett Brothers was a good one for me.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB: Royals @ Tigers – 7:00 (ESPN)
  • Olympics:
    • 8:00 – NBC Primetime: track, beach volleyball, women’s gymnastics
    • 9:30 – OLN: France vs Brazil volleyball; men’s heavyweight boxing final

Remember when doing your Google image searches,

 

ONE OF THEM IS 16!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Sharkbait

Aerodynamics is usually not something I look forward to in a cheeseburger.

JustStopDude

comment image?w=520&s=94c38106305e9859976d6cc53f4c1bc4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As a general rule-of-thumb: the more aerodynamic the cheeseburger (smaller drag coefficient) the shitier the cheeseburger, it is in inverse proportion to the shittyness of the cheeseburger. Not sure if this is true with sliders.

JustStopDude

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I don’t ever want to meet someone that likes the New Yorker cartoons…

WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Mr. Ayo

There will be more bungholes

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ditto foar me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And it’s beginning to piss me off.

Scroll…hit pause. Reload…
Scroll…hit pause.

Gratliff

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS
Sharkbait

“You stop that right now!”

–Phillip Rivers

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not to be an NC State centric dick, but that’s not how he spells “Philip”.
(sorry, I really don’t give a shit…but our NCSU centric blog folks made this quite the issue while he was still in school)

JustStopDude
Gratliff

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Brocky

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Gratliff

That poodle is a fucking problem.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

how much methadone would you have to take to equal a heroin??

/asking foar a friend

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sadly, I can answer this.
Call me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And no, I’m not, nor have I ever been, a heroin addict folks.
My ex was Rx’d methadone for chronic pain.

And to this day, dunno how methadone should be used for addiction treatment. That shit is trippy as fuck. Like seriously.

Mr. Ayo

So you’re a methadone addict?

theeWeeBabySeamus

What are you, a cop?

Addict…no.
Experimenter…I plead da fif.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdeo7Q2E5cE

Spur

I know am late with the news but Comedy Central cancelling ‘The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore’ is great. Good riddance.

Gratliff

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lightning is currently winning in the match vs me falling asleep early.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So apparently now Jimmy John’s has a “Joe Flacco” sandwich.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/0dcbc36f30502a134d9efe549a63d31e/tumblr_o6xpo6IzkH1rg4z05o1_1280.jpg

JustStopDude

The fucking head of product development for my employer asked me and my Polish coworker to basically unfuck a bunch of his software. We spend like two days fixing really stupid shit…and keep in mind, we have actual stuff we need to do and this guy has a team of six people that work for him.

So to reward us, asshole takes us to Jimmy Johns for lunch.

Oh and later today, I find out he has been telling our solar field engineers (almost all of these people are fresh out of college) to use jumper cables from a car as a safety ground for medium voltage. FUcking things are supposed to be rated between 600 V and 69 kV and certified by an outside company.

http://ecmweb.com/site-files/ecmweb.com/files/archive/ecmweb.com/ops_maintenance/006ecmPGpic1.jpg This is what we are supposed to use, with the appropriate PPE.

Fuck nuts is sending people to an auto parts store to hang by hand, without shipping the safety gear as well.
http://www.customcrimp.com/images/CRIMPERS/CC150/Jumper_Cables_TN.jpg

Asshole spent this afternoon arguing with me that the national safety code is bullshit and that we aren’t going to get sued when he gets people killed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So much for that joke.

JustStopDude

Sorry…I really hate Jimmy Johns…well actually I guess my one coworker.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In case you’d like a different “IT’S HAPPENING” gif.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/44afba536fb5f1a325c0f00da257c2c6/tumblr_o803p5oYrl1vsp7c2o1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t use the restroom for guys with huge cocks unless you have a huge cock.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/874541f2d166777cf40151265b5c13f6/tumblr_o87rn1JzJy1tyap34o1_540.jpg

Brocky

For everyone who complains about an “Angry BIrds” movie, I just think of this lost classic:

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTM5MTMxNzE2OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwOTY1MDA2MDE@._V1_UY268_CR1,0,182,268_AL_.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bill us later.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Evening folks.
How are they hanging?
http://data.whicdn.com/images/28548291/large.gif

Mr. Ayo

I love dressage

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I, apparently, love commenting in the “older comments” area…. great….just GREAT.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Feels the need to scroll back suddenly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait

I’m beginning to regret one of my fantasy team names. I’ve had to explain too many times the reasoning behind “Brock Turner Overdrive”

Sill Bimmons

You’re joking.

Sharkbait

I wish I was Sill. I wish I was.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just tell them the “Turner Brown” joke instead of explaining.

Spur

ESPN should do 24 hours of CFB, opening weekend. They could make it work someone just has to play in Hawaii and Australia.

Spur

It’s hour 4 of the ESPN FF Marathon, I’m hyped!

Unsurprised

Did Gronk hurt his leg chasing pussy or did a woman strike something sensitive after he deflected a blow to the balls?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
indieguy

besides real soda I think pastries are my only true weakness when it comes to food

Sill Bimmons

Baltic cave-dwelling mutants vs. Balkan cave-dwelling mutants WHO YA GOT

Spur

Folks!

Brocky

So… Rudy Giuliani…. Alzheimer’s is a horrible horrible disease huh?

http://i.usatoday.net/news/_photos/2011/09/07/Giuliani-911-was-worst-day-and-best-day-DTBSPRA-x-large.jpg

...

HE KEPT US SAFE.
HE KEPT US SAFE.
HE KEPT US SAFE.
HE KEPT US SAFE.
HE KEPT US SAFE.
HE KEPT US SAFE.
HE KEPT US SAFE.
HE KEPT US SAFE.
HE KEPT US SAFE.

/combusts

Sharkbait

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JustStopDude

Like most fucking war hawks his age, the cocksucker was a draft dodger.

Had the judge he was clerking for write him up to petition the draft board for him when he got called up…

but he claims was ready to go to war of course…but he was against the war…but only for “strategic and tactical” grounds…because he wasn’t some pussy ass fagot hippy. Oh no…he was a REAL man…damn if America didn’t need so many law clerks during the war…he would have shown those commie viet cong bastards a thing or two!

Gratliff

Hoo, quiet tonight.
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Brocky

Lets Play Word association: Brush

Gratliff

Apparently, I am incapable of having decent thoughts

indieguy

you’re not alone

Brocky

Do I even wanna know?

Gratliff

Ah yes, the pride of Delaware.
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WCS

On the next, “Faces of Meth…”

Gratliff

From Sandy Beach, DE, the originators of Redneck Fu, the Briscoes.

http://65.media.tumblr.com/e41c4c784232c430a6ba0431f3d4719b/tumblr_inline_ni5tw2LQsH1r5344l.gif

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not sure about sports, but this massive thunderstorm is pretty damn entertaining right now.

Kungjitsu

So Sydney McLaughl… is 17… never mind.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Moose preemptively replied to you below.

WCS


Hell yes, it’s BOLD!

herodotus450

Hmm Linda Blair, after the Excorcist she was in…
https:/ /www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M2khjpOxzc

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

http://www.accelerator3359.com/Wrestling/pictures/elgenericosteen.jpg

Two of the most popular wrestlers in the world. In hindsight, I probably should have tried it out.

Brocky

So……. stuff is happening……..

I got nothing.

Sill Bimmons
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know that we have done drug references for Request Line. Would be a great topic, no doubt.

...

Today’s WYTS reminded me that we all fail to appreciate just how pathetic the Lions franchise is. Their fans are just so sad.

litre_cola

I thought the exact same thing, by far it was the most dismal. I think it really went over a cliff during the Millen days.

Sill Bimmons
...

I don’t know which would be worse: having just that one win or none at all.

Sharkbait

That was depressing to read.

herodotus450

Why is it nflchina.com and not nfl.china, or whatever the tld is? I would put my money on nflchina.com being blocked in China by the great firewall.

Mr. Ayo

It is nfl.cn. But that will send you back to nfl.com.

litre_cola

Really looking forward to gambling season you guys.

Sill Bimmons

Looking forward to taking whatever Balkan currency you settle on.

litre_cola

Hahaha, I have a collection from all of my travels, I do have LEK actually, as well as Bulgarian LEV, would you like perhaps some Cambodian riel?

Sill Bimmons

We could keep it Austro-Hungarian and I could trade you your LEK and LEV for my way Way WAY too many Hungarian forint that I got out of the cash machine in Budapest by accident.

“I’m sure to get back again soon! I’m in the UK for another year at least!”

http://www.budapestbylocals.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/hungarian_forint_banknotes.jpg

/two weeks later receives two-week notice of end of secondment

http://meme.vandorp.biz/fuuuuu.jpg

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“…peed in his bathroom while he watched…”

Immediately afterwards:

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

This might be my favorite part of the NFL China site:

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I can only assume that’s a disclaimer at the bottom that reads:
NOW MOSTLY STD-FREE

Sharkbait

Sesame Street might have a copyright claim if they make one for Joe Flacco.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

http://cdn3.volusion.com/9nxdj.fchy5/v/vspfiles/photos/GU-075364-2.jpg

You’re probably right. The NFL did a good job, but there’s no way Joe would wear a shirt that colorful.

Sill Bimmons

STILL UNDER SUSPICION FOR MRSA

trollsoharduniversity

If Trump wants to build a wall that actually keeps Mexicans out, he should just put a paywall at the border and put PFT headquarters on the other side.

Sill Bimmons

Bruce Gradkowski is apparently made out of tissue paper and wallpaper paste.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Ah yes, Ryan Mathews Syndrome.