Your “Insert British Colloquialism Here” Colts/Jags Early Morning Football Open Thread

Hear ye, hear ye, I don’t have any Sunday morning errands/chores to do because football starts so early! Of course the down side of this is that I should be ‘football-ed out’ by about 7:30 this evening. Whatever. This London game is great in theory-NFL fans in the U.K. get to watch a game live. It’s a treat. Sure the games have not been of the best quality nor has the field been in the best of shape (I recall a Fins/Giants tilt from a few years back that was a mushy, slippery, rain-drenched eyeball-scorching travesty of an affair) but..I have nothing to end this sentence with. (aside from a preposition) TO THE GAME!

Indy/Jax-The Colts have a comfy 21-9 series lead and their entire starting D on the field for the first time this year. Their goal? Be average. That’s all it will take to beat a Bortles that has clearly regressed from last year. Opposing D’s have locked down on wr Robinson, limiting the damage he can do and Blake has time and again misfired on passes to Hurns (he of the 1000+ yards and 10 TD’s last year) and Lee. This is where a young running back should be stepping up and Yeldon has done so 2.5 yards per carry at a time. So the Jags are gonna lose. So do they fire Bradley? Probably. But this brings up the issue of who replaces him. The OC Greg Olson doesn’t look like a ready candidate and DC Todd Wash was just promoted from D-Line coach in January. No matter what happens, the Jags seem likely to have lost one year of competitive football.

Now take a big swig of that Bloody Mary and LET’S GET GOING!

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evilbeaver8

Bright side for Pagano…if the Colts leave him in London he can see a real savings on post-cancer follow-up care with NHS.

Unsurprised

Yeah, about that …

JustStopDude

So apparently the 2 minute drill for Jax depends on the defense going fucking insane and giving away penalty yards.

And the Colts are going along with the plan.

JustStopDude

BLOODY ‘ELL! Wanker penalty!!!

herodotus450

But do the fans in London really love what they’re seeing?

Romonobyl

Believe me.

evilbeaver8

Having watched nearly every game since he’s joined the Humps…I honestly can’t think of a single time where Luck spotted the blitz and made a quick adjustment to beat it.

herodotus450

They said the same thing about Neville Chamberlain

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was good. Bravo.

King Hippo

he doesn’t cotton to your hurried notion of time, English

Lothar of the Hill People

Kevin James is funny like Donald Trump is rich–you hear a lot about it from people who like them, but they both refuse to release any proof to back up their claims.

Romonobyl

Looks like Al Pastor. Good stuff.

Romonobyl

When you deliver a representation of your national pastime to a foreign land, it’s always wise to send the finest examples available for obvious reasons.
So we sent Blake Bortles and Hodor…brilliant.

King Hippo

the Jaguras faithful liked that

Horatio Cornblower

Every time ESPN, (I really can’t be blamed for changing the channel on this game), shows Britt McHenry I keep hoping to see her car being slowly towed through the background.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Low on tight ends already..
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King Hippo

just what this fixture needed, another stoppage in play

King Hippo

well, he DID spin the ball in response. Totes equivalent.

/the catch goes away too, fucking fantasy owners

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fucking fantasy owners.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Isn’t that the name of Mike Tolbert’s biography? (ok, that is dated, still going with it)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Try adjective.

Romonobyl

This close to France, you’d think all those flags would be white.

Horatio Cornblower

That fucking rug can vacuum itself; Momma’s callin’ it a day!

JustStopDude

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I know we’re talking shitty football, but shitty baseball is a thing too. Thanks for blowing a 3-0 lead in the Bronx last night Baltimore. Now I not only gotta sweat today, but maybe tomorrow and the next day too!!! Jerks.
http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/al-wild-card-tiebreaker-scenarios-for-the-blue-jays-orioles-and-tigers/

Horatio Cornblower

I’m hoping the Yankees roll over for the O’s just to fuck over the Jays.

King Hippo

Bravo saves a pen to keep it a 2-nil

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is this game just all commercial breaks?

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
King Hippo

oh my

Romonobyl

I think Joe Strummer prophesized this game when he wrote “London Calling”.

JustStopDude

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King Hippo

the year I finally draft him

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Commercial

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blaxabbath

I seriously did not do enough with my younger “wild” years.

herodotus450

Don’t worry! You can still watch some episodes for free here
http://www.adultswim.com/videos/ntsfsdsuv/

Romonobyl

You’d think after all we’ve done for the U.K. over the years they’d have the common courtesy to be on the same time zone.

King Hippo

Surprised Gore didn’t draw a yellow for simulation there.

Fronkenshteen

If I scored a TD in a London game, my celebration would be the Ian Curtis epilepsy dance. Britons would love it.
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(I’m aware I won’t be scoring any TDs in a London game.)

King Hippo

Rough day for Ian, in addition to being dead, he’s also a City fan, FFS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, now you fuckers got me listening to Joy Division.
This is not good for my overall depressive state, assholes.

blaxabbath

Are we to the point where we throw in the towel on Luck? That he’s good and can put up some numbers — but the clots aren’t winning any championships with him?

Phillip Rivers II: The Politening?

King Hippo

and/or the OL

blaxabbath

So they need to become the Saints?

http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2013/0304/otl_bounty07.jpg

JustStopDude

Jax Fact: Bortles not only refers to the starting QB for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Terminal syphilis patients develop painful pockets of pus under their skin all over their body. When they break open, the virus is very easy to spread and will cause further loss of tissue. These pockets of pus are known as “Bortles”.

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Shown above are two patients from the turn of the century with large numbers of Bortles on their face.

yeah right

Required listening before attending any Saints game.

Lord knows I’ve attended a few. That damn DJ Taj and his bad influences.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Shit. I forgot to get cigs for today. Or I lost a pack. I think it was the latter. I have to make a run at halftime

blaxabbath

Bunch of people sitting around in random NFL jerseys for a terrible on-field game product outside the the continental US?

Is this the Pro Bowl?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was thinking the LA Coliseum.

blaxabbath

I thought I read that the Raiders were still pulling a large (if not larger than RAMIT) share of the LA tv viewership from OAK.

yeah right

I can confirm that there are more Raiders fans than Rams fans here.

It helps explain the random gang shootings as well.

blaxabbath

Once Hillary takes away our guns, the next thing she’s gonna go after is our Raiders!!

evilbeaver8

Heh heh heh heh heh……insert.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There’s a war of attrition going on in London and no one invited me?
http://f.tqn.com/y/history1900s/1/W/v/Q/1/Hitlerseated2.jpg

JustStopDude
ballsofsteelandfury

OK, dump is over. I’m doing as TSG suggested and getting my ass back to bed. Catch y’all in a few hours.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wash your hands before masturbating. Just saying.

Lothar of the Hill People

I heard the Colts cheerleaders couldn’t make the game, so they hired a local replacement:

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1081317/austinpowers-o.gif

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Stupid MTWV, I should have gone British girls when I got bored/annoyed/hungry/etc, I could have still gone redheads anyways.

King Hippo

I’m starting to think Blake Bortles isn’t very good, guys…

JustStopDude

I really like to imagine that Peyton Manning is constantly being harassed by random people who just redo his fucking annoying pitches right back at him.

Lothar of the Hill People
ballsofsteelandfury

Do they just get really really close yet never score?

ThursdaySkyGoddess
Lothar of the Hill People

Here’s the genius of the NFL. You’d never catch me watching Colts-Jags, but put it on at 9:30 in the morning when there’s nothing else but political talk shows, infomercials, and local news, and I’m all in.

King Hippo

I set my alarm for it

theeWeeBabySeamus

The joy of being an insomniac is never having to throw the alarm clock thru the window.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
ballsofsteelandfury

I remember her!

Redshirt

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2666977-east-carolina-marching-band-booed-for-kneeling-during-national-anthem?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial

I’m all for respect, but while playing you are At Attention when you’re playing. The first condition is Standing Upright.

King Hippo

they should at least have British commentators and Rebecc-er Lowe in the studio FOAR London games.

ballsofsteelandfury

I am shocked SHOCKED I TELL YOU that RTD is awake at this hour and watching the Jaguras. The rest of you, I think, are on East Coast time so you finally get a taste of life in the West Coast.

RTD, you have no excuse. As for me, I’m taking a dump. No, that’s not a euphemism for watching this game, I’m literally doing my old man duty.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just keep the fingers clear.
HALT THE FECAL ORAL TRANSMISSION ROUTE PPL…NEVAR GO ASS TO MOUTH.
Well, almost nevar.

Fronkenshteen

Jesus, you can see men scrambling all over the side of the ship before the explosion. Nightmare shit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A little while back I made a joke about Trent Green attempting to answer a brick. I regret that now. Out of respect for the London game, I should have referred to it as a “cobble”.