Another week, another batch of tweet-sized brilliance. As someone who
has gets to go through the pile of Quotables submissions, I can see many of you have hit midseason form. The shock of nearly all of last season’s NFC division champs having fallen from grace no longer shows up in the riffs whereas, now, we’re back to hustling about Ryan Fitzpatrick MAYBE not being worth his contract, Borck Osweiler MAYBE not being worth his contract, and, holy shit, the Vikings, Raiders, and [Falcons, Ratbirds, or Cowboys] look to be for real! Also, a few of you (one of you, I’m sure, with multiple handles) seem to just really HATE DeMarco Murray.
Football is better when fans hate top fantasy performers (Murray takes on the Cleveland D this week, by the way).
In other hilariousness, Yahoo (of forcing out male employees and losing $95 billion in value fame) has this piece about how the NFL can fix it’s rating decline. Included in the suggestions from Yahoo (of $17 million to steam Bills/Jaguars in London fame) is to improve the quality of the nationally broadcast games. So, you know, something to think about while you’re out enjoying something other than football next Sunday.
That said, onto this weeks champs!
“This is the Tannehill Adam Gase chooses to die on?” -Why Eagles Why
“Maybe I should take the O line out to someplace better than CiCi’s pizza for dinner.” -ArmedandHammered
“Nice try Blain, but you still ain’t no Sex Cannon” -Dok Zymm
“Tight butthole, goddamnit. TIGHT. BUTTHOLE!!!” -King Hippo
“Old white man gets confused when you take away his guns.” -nomonkeyfun
“Now you see the genius of Matt Stafford’s ‘Eat until you have skull fat’ diet.” – Lothar of the Hill People
“Nobody Could Have Possibly Seen This Coming” -Unsurprised
“And Horse Ball Anderson’s Horse Balls shrunk three sizes that day” -BFC
“Tom McMahon, who spent many formative years as a broadway choreographer prior to be coming a special team coach, was disappointed by the lack of ‘jazz hands’ on the play…” – Anonymous Commentist