N.O./KC-The Saints O is a thing to behold-they churn out an average of 413 yards per game despite the fact their running game is near non-existent. “Don’t talk about the D. Don’t talk about the D”-Saints fans. Let’s talk about the D. “GODDAMN IT!”-Saints fans. It’s a piece of crap that hands out 419 yards per game to opposing O’s. Gulp. Well, at the very least it’s entertaining. Look for the Cooks/Peters match up in the secondary and for rb Charles to break one or two.

Ind/Ten-The Titans are 2-14 on the road. Scratch that-that would be their home record the last two years. How the hell do they sell tickets to their tripe? Yikes! That being typed, if they win today they’ll have put together their first 3 game win streak since 2011. They should give the run game a try-rb Murray is playing well and the Colts give up a half first down each time that someone runs the ball against them. Plus, 11 Colts are ruled out or questionable today. You sneaky buggers out there that do the fantasy should take a look at te Jack Doyle-the fella has 3 TD’s but what’s more impressive is that he’s got 20 grabs on only 23 targets.

Min/Phi-Rook qb Wentz will have to earn his animal crackers today against a Minny D that has 19 sacks and a +11 turnover differential. I’ll wager he gives up his 2nd intercept to outstanding cb Xavier Rhodes. The Eagles may want to steal this game because going forward they have the toughest strength of schedule based on current records. The Vikes passing game gets an upgrade with wr Diggs likely to return.

Cle/Cin-Oh woe is you if you is stuck with this game. What happens when an unwinnable lack of force meets an under-achieving object? We finally get the answer to this via the quotation marks battle of Ohio quotation marks.

Was/Det-The Redacteds started 0-2 and the calls for qb Cousins to be benched were numerous. Now that the team has reeled off 4 straight and he has 7 TD’s and only 3 Ints in that stretch, the soul-less supporters of the club have chosen to grumble to themselves. The Lions have won two squeakers at home and look to grab a third. Qb Chunky Butternubbins has tossed 7 TD’s with nary an intercept. He’ll have to put some points on the board because his team’s D is the same one that gave up 19 consecutive complete passes to something called a Case Keenum last week.

Oak/Jax-Much like this whole “evil clown” thing being a thing, Oakland being undefeated on the road took me by surprise. How did they accomplish that? It’s not Indy or the Saints with the most yards allowed so far this year-it’s Oakland with an average of 444 per game. Neither team can run the ball consistently so both Bortles and Carr should go for 350+ and wr’s Cooper, Crabtree, Hurns and Robinson should all have a bellyful of footballs by the end of this, say, 41-38 whizbang of a game.

Buf/Mia-I larfed myself silly when HC Ryan fired his OC because his D was such a mess. [record scratch] Huh, well would you look here-some team has run off 4 straight wins including a shutout of the Pats. I KNOW NOTHING! On another personal note, I ditched rb Ajayi heading into last week’s games. Woo! is not me. Don’t you think the Billys are going to run the ball down the Fins throat and end up with a W? Even though rb Shady has a hammy issue he’ll still get his.

Bal/NYJ-Qb Flacco’s status was up in the air but I saw a report this morning indicating he was ready to go. Jets HC Bowles benched his guy, Ryan McHarvardface knowing that Monday he wouldn’t have to watch horrible decision-making by the ‘leader’ of his O. Instead he’ll be treated to horrible decision-making by Geno Smith. It’s the little things that make going into work bearable, isn’t it? The many faces of Jets wr Marshall are downcast.

A jaunty hat tip to all those that commented during the early bird special but your work is far from over. Now take a break AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN!!!