Your “Twickenham Stadium is Falling Down, Falling Down” Sunday Morning NFL Football Open Thread

Adding another game to the usual triple-header that occurs every Sunday? I’m all in. It totally reminds of that time back in university when 3 co-eds invited me back to their place for a romp. When a fourth girl found out about it she begged and pleaded to be invited along. I said, “the more the better” because I’m linguistically gifted dontyouknow. Once all the ball-draining action was over and done with we all went our separate ways and lived happily ever after, free of addictions, jobs that suck and financial worries. And to think, all it took to pretend to not have any real-life worries was to pretend that I had a loop-de-loop with 4 nubile phillys. Sometimes life is just that easy, folks… TO THE GAME!

NYG/LA-They don’t make ’em any bigger than this, huh? The biggest news coming out of the Giants facility is ROBBIE GOULD FINALLY HAS A NEW JOB! All it took was for NFL to say “Who? What? Again? Still? But our investigation was complete! Guys, seriously-Domestic Violence Hurts…our reputation! and finally-I wish we could sweep this under the carpet but Janay has taken up residence there.” Another big concern the Giants have today is what happens when high-priced signee cb Jenkins evolves into a shut-down calibre player but there’s no one to shut down? Wr OBJ should have a nice day despite having a pointy hip because the Rams best cb, Trumaine Johnson is not available. The Giants D continues to stink up the joint. As far as takeaways are concerned they have one (!) fumble recovery and two(?) interceptions. I think you could send a little girl to run around the field during the game and she’d trip over the football at least twice, right? My guess is that qb Eli’s recent dodgy playmaking may not be enough to undermine the Giants favoured status in this game.

[wipes hands on pyjamas] All right then, MAKE WITH THE FUNNY!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Somewhere, Dan Orlovsky just shuddered, as though someone had walked over the grave of his NFL career.

Unsurprised

Before I left to get coffee I started to watch Spectre since it’s now on Amazon Prime. Jesus that franchise is as boring as as watching an old cat bat at an old man’s balls. There should be some amusement in it but it’s mostly just sad.

King Hippo

great job getting two feet down in the endline!

herodotus450

Since one of you Rothschilds brought up Fiona Apple, I discovered on her wikipedia page that she once canceled a tour because her dog was too sick from a tumour he’d had for two years. And she’s a vegan. Boner, waning.

King Hippo

one can only get that thin by having pretty much all substances on the “no can eat” list, so I always assumed vegan.

herodotus450

Depends, how many uncut diamonds can you fit up your ass?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think I may have mentioned this already or at least considered it more than once. My knee I had surgery on 15 years ago is now (this month) randomly hurting like hell in the areas right around the permanent nerve damage. I didn’t lose strength with it but it will sometimes hurt like hell and doing things like walking up stairs may cause my leg to get shaky like it might fail.

Unsurprised

🙁

King Hippo

well, on the good side, maybe your nerves are waking up??

/my right knee has always sucked and got scoped like 6 years ago, and still hurts when it’s cold and rainy, and/or when climbing stairs

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am thinking this is what it is. Or at least hoping. If not I will have to do strength training on it again like I did before and after my surgery to get it right, but like I said I still have the strength in it so I am not sure. Or year right is correct and I am just stuck with this now.

laserguru

As the resident knee specialist…
You may be looking at early onset osteoarthritis.

Or maybe I don’t want to be the only member of that club.

If I can offer further discouragement it doesn’t really get any better.
Try alcohol and meds.

King Hippo

Giants D – 28 pts on opponent’s bench. HAPPY!!

/still losing 6.47-1.48 because FUCK CAMERON MEREDITH

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That is on Matt Barkley not Meredith

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“What’s this about Giant D?”

– Jenn Sterger

Unsurprised

That’s just a myth.
— B. Favre

Unsurprised

I’m torn. I like hanging out with you guys, but I couldn’t give less of a shit about football.

King Hippo

it’s not like anyone is enjoying THIS game. But tis our DUTY as Commentists in good standing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m torn…

You sound like every ligament in Teddy Bridgewater’s knee.

King Hippo

or Natalie Imbruglia ,, ppl forget that

Unsurprised

I’m merely torn, not vaporized into string theory particles.

JustStopDude

h ttps://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2013-09/enhanced/webdr02/26/15/enhanced-buzz-25396-1380224410-16.jpg?no-auto

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS IMAGE I CALL IT A MASSEY ENERGY COAL MINING FACILITY CAUSE IT IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

Unsurprised

Deep dive.

Almost as deep as those miners are buried

Bortleback

Aboot the hoose?

Unsurprised

Canada. Where moosehead is not just a city, but a crime.

King Hippo

honest, I was just tryin’ to help that goat get over the fence!

King Hippo

surely RAM IT!!! should be throwing at Fiona Apple in the secondary…

King Hippo

/Keenum RAMS IT! into DRC-led double coverage instead

JustStopDude

Jeff Fisher needs to seriously upgrade the Rams’ video technology….

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You know what would be interesting? If you could “bank” penalties that you declined. Not the whole value, but say at a 1:5 ratio (so a ten-yard penalty gets you two in the bank). And then you could “spend” them later, like on a 4th and 1 or something.

JustStopDude

I think some of the penalties need to be changed. I doubt though that teams and officials could keep track of banked penalties.

I wish offensive interference was a turnover at the spot of the foul because the way its set up, the interference penalties heavily favor the offense.

JustStopDude

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King Hippo

what is Saskatchewan like? Is it Canadia’s sheep-fucking country?

King Hippo

got teevee box on in time FOAR MOAR adverts!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And you have to pay for a “TV license”! How crazy is that?

JustStopDude

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This game seems to be a microcosm of Jeff Fisher’s career: very close to a tie while still being completely uninteresting.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If I had ODB as my receiver I would just throw it up into double coverage off my back foot too

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

Could we give GBR the overtime draw it richly deserves??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hmm, in honor of another punt let me try that one again.

THIS GAME I CALL IT DRAYMOND GREEN’S CAREER BECAUSE SOME OTHER STUFF HAPPENED BUT IN THE END ALL ANYONE IS GOING TO REMEMBER IS THAT A BUNCH OF BALLS WERE KICKED.

Bortleback

The BBC have the ginger hammer in studio now – can I get him off my screen in return for watching ads?

King Hippo

This shite is in Q4 already?? Also quit with the dink and dunk to Shepard, I’m against him in PPR, FFS!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

YO BRITAIN WE HEARD YOU LIKE SPORTS WHERE BALLS GET KICKED A LOT SO WE DIALED UP A BUNCH OF PUNTS ALSO STAY TUNED FOR A SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY DRAYMOND GREEN.

Redshirt

If Britain like tie games in Soccer, just wait until they see an NFL tie game.

Redshirt

On behalf of all Buckeyes fans, I would like to like BLEERGH for making a special appearance in last nights loss against Penn State. Even with our Special Teams, Offensive Line and Wide Receivers trying to loss, we needed that extra push to keep JT Barrett from snatching victory from the jaws of defeats. That’s guys!

King Hippo

The universe found the only way for THEEEEE to be upset and me to find no joy in it. Fucking pedarest enabler worshipping fuckstains.

...

Somewhere, Joe is looking up at Happy Valley with a smile.

JustStopDude

So I participate with a couple of active duty and a few civilians like myself on a message board for kids asking about going into the navy. We answer questions. I generally handle the questions about transitioning back into the civilian world and the specific job classification I had.

This morning, a kid asked about religious services in basic training, specifically what the options were for Jewish sailors. Here is part of a response from a second kid that claims he is going into the military…

Bolshevism was primarily Jewish yes. Churchhill(whose family was drowning in debt to Jews) immediately noticed this.
Stalin absolutely despised Jews but he noticed that they carry out the dirty work with extreme brutality(NKVD) so kept many around. If you wanted mass killing done a ‘native’ Russian might have second thoughts but Jews had no qualms because they are told from a young age that the ‘goy’ is the enemy.
Trotsky vs Stalin was the inevitable conflict in Bolshevism for obvious reasons(jews vs none jews). In any Jew/none Jew group setting youll always come to the inevitable conflict. In the US you can see this with the Iraq War which was basically the take over of neoconservatives by Jewish interests. Neocons started off as Trotskyiets. David Horowitz best example of this.
When communism ‘collapsed’, the ‘capitalist oligarchs’ in Russia were about 90% Jewish.
Mao advisors were Jews. Communism in China was a foreign import. Ironically when communism no longer worked Milton Friedman imported the aggressive capitalism that China is dealing with to this day(low wages, wrecked environment, debt).
Karl Marx came from a family of Rabbis(he himself pointed out their behavior). Marx said money was the wordly God of the Jews. Remember he came from generations of Jews.
Without Judaism Bolshevism could NOT exist. The bolshevist crimes are the worst in human history by sheer number of killed + methods.
Read ‘200 years together by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’ if you can find it in English(banned from printing houses).
Since Jews utterly dominate every facade of life inside the United States, of course all you hear from the age of 3 is the ‘holocaust’. Like you ever question what a holocaust museum is doing inside the US? Last time I checked it was carried out in Europe.
Civil cattolica was a newspaper from 100 years ago in the Vatican. They basically noticed that any society that turned away from the moral laws enforced by a Christian king, immediately became dominated by Jewish interests. This observation occurred by studying the French revolution. Can we say it is false? Absolutely not. Goldman Sachs is living proof of this inside the United States.
The thing is that holocaust reparations never went to any of the actual victim families most of them went to wealthy Jews in Israel and abroad, there is an entire report on this.

Why…do…I…bother?!?

Bortleback

I’m surprised they didn’t throw in a few “Jews did 9/11, everyone knows that” type allegations. Maybe they’re saving that for a followup post?

JustStopDude

Well I replied…

-This is not the forum for your rantings. Take it somewhere else. Furthermore, if you do go into the military, you will want to keep this crap to yourself as people bored out to sea will just fuck with your antisemitic ass nonstop.

His response immediately…

-Yea nice response. Debate the points with facts PAL!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You can’t argue with fanaticism, they just dig in deeper if confronted

Bortleback

By “facts” he means “infowars posts”, obviously

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I bet he has a wonderful, hairless, shiny white head. That or a nice pointy white hat with face cover so he doesn’t damage his porcelain skin.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Remember, kids, the Internet can be a horrible place, and people are fucking stupid.

...

Yeah, I think that guy might be confusing “banned” with “no one willing to print a translated version because it’s crap only the fringe will consider reading.”

Spur

Twinkieham stadium?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[drools]

– Andy Reid

King Hippo

Yeah, surely this has a gay sex subtext.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You had me at ‘twink’.”

– Aaron Rodgers

King Hippo

Man, this shit is even MOAR thrilling (somehow) on the radio. Sadly, will be back from Publix soon.

Damn these kids and their insistence on eating. Though I needed some shit to make a kale/apple/cucumber/zucchini/lime juice anyway. Try to contain ur jelly oozing.

Spur

I guess we really do get a Thursday Night Football game on Sunday.

Redshirt

I have voted early. That means all the Election Commercials are going to stop bothering me, right?

Right?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Nope, just means you will start getting Paul Ryan 2020 ads now

Redshirt

After this year, I will vote for that over-his-head POS over Corrupt Hillary and Deflectin’ Donny.

King Hippo

Did you follow your conscience and become a Republican FOAR HillyBob?

Redshirt

No. If it was any other Democrat, I would have voted for them. Hell, I would’ve voted for Michael Moore, but I just couldn’t stomach voting for Clinton.

In an irrational year, I did the only rational thing I could thing of.

Write-In (X)

President: ____None_of_the_Above____
Vice President: ____None_of_the_Above____

Bortleback

So at the 2 minute warning in the first half my better half inquired nicely when I was going to put out the bins. I decided to do it during halftime, when the ads came on. Halftime comes, and I’m sitting here watching a bunch of rugby players talk about how they like watching the NFL…….and then I realise that I’m watching the game on the BBC, and they don’t have ads. So that’s the story of how I missed the first few minutes of the third quarter – did I miss much?

Redshirt

No ads? Just pure football?

I envy you.

Bortleback

They’re replaced with some very simplistic analysis, for the most part. Though they have Osi Umenyiora in the studio for all the London games, somehow……

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…my better half inquired nicely when I was going to put out …

Dear Penthouse Forum…

Spur

Interesting that neither team brought a RB to London.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, last time I went to London I forgot my phone charger. Unfortunately Heathrow probably doesn’t have RBs in all the shops there.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Import duties, brah.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Redshirt

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JustStopDude

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Really, no alcohol before noon? Fuck you, Newark “Liberty” Airport.

JustStopDude

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Fronkenshteen

Rainey to return kicks? INSANITY LEAGUE WINDFALL!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For Insanity League I’d like to draft Vincent van Gogh; not externally violent, but still.

Fronkenshteen

Helmets fit funny on him, but I see what you mean.

JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A certain segment of the population conveniently forgets about the Frenchies making it all possible.

JustStopDude

I think we should actually be taught in schools that the Revolutionary War was not a proper war but rather the battle zone of the ongoing British vs French global war that had been going on for over a century at that point.

Redshirt

My High School social studies teacher taught the truth: “If it wasn’t for the French, we would be sipping tea today.”

Fronkenshteen

Pat Tillman used to destroy offenses single-handedly? Huh.

Bortleback

Did he used to do it in practice too? Might be considered friendly fire……

JustStopDude

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Dumbshit. Why would you pick up that ball? The only 2 things that could happen were a fumble and they get a FG or you get injury.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ok, this looks bad. I wouldn’t have been so sarcastic if I knew it was bad

Spur

Betting broken ribs landing on the ball like that.

JustStopDude

I got money on a vertebra fracture.