Holy Cats, Are City…Mortal? and Other Lesser Footy Matters

IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS, PEP! 1 point out of a possible 6? Drawing at home to fucking Everton (no ofence)?

But alas, here we are. Still in first, but only by a slender goal over Arsenal, with Spurs 1 point back in third. Almost seems like a real race, huh?

I would still note that City had like 80% possession last week, and only conceded the one clear chance that Romelu Lukaku converted (though that was part of the defensive/irritant plan) to send the Blues up 1-nil. And yeah, Everton keeper Maarten Stekelenburg (try spelling that crunk) was out of his mind, saving TWO pens, and that wasn’t even his best work of the day.

In short…it’s possible to get points off ANYBODY if you have a really good plan and a lot breaks your way, and Everton look to at least contend for a European place this season. But City fought like hell for 90 minutes, and never rolled over. This is still a remarkably good side, and my favourite to hoist the trophy in May, by a comfortable margin.

But it’s fun to pretend to have a race, at least.

Speaking of Spurs, they draw Saturday early duty (7:30, NBCSN) with a visit to cheeky Bournemouth. WAKE UP, yeah right!! The Cherries popped Hull 6-1 last weekend, so momentum is on their side! Arsenal/Boro headlines the 10:00 window (NBCSN), though I will watch Everton grind through a trip to Burnley on Extra Time. I am also having some new appliances delivered to my old house, and my window is unhappily 11:30-3:30. So…I may miss the end and be grumpier than usual. There is MOAR shite on Extra Time at 10, and the proper Shite against Brom at 12:30 on NBC. Watch JV NFL and quit encouraging the Klopp ball-fondling. It’s gross.

NBCSN has a high-quality Sunday Funday doubleheader, with City hosting resurgent, 8th place Saints at 8:30. Both teams should bring their A game for this one, and There Will Be Goals. Good viewing. The 11:00 window has Manure rolling into Stamford Bridge, with a Top 5 position almost surely belonging to the winner. Chelski assuaged some of my skepticism last week, as did Manure by holding the Shite to a scoreless draw. So…this is also a very interesting ficture, albeit between two unspeakably evil sides.

HEY!! Guess who’s here to shit all over the noon ABC window again?

NC State at Louisville (Noon, ABC)

For most of this, I will be likely watching the Sears dudes install a dishwasher and microwave that I will NEVAR FUCKING USE, whilst listening to a transistor radio that I bought for the hurricane. This, imaginary friends and frenemies, is my fucking life in a nutshell. The wolven sort will no doubt still insist on field goal attempts, and I will say very unpleasant words. Lamar! will try to get his Heisman/NFL/2020 Invisible Primary campaigns back on track.

Wisconsin at Iowa (Noon, ESPN)

So many fat white ppl. So little forward passing.

Colorado at Stanford (3:00, Pac 12)

I’ve noticed a trend in that the secondary/tertiary Pac 12 fixtures can get quite entertaining at times. Bookmark this little fucker in case The Big One below gets all shitshow-y.

Texas A&M at Alabama (3:30, CBS)

Team Bonfire Cult at Roll Damn Tide. These weirdos probably have some amazing parking lot staredowns on the way in, given the cult mentalities and the copious amounts of grain alcohol involved. I actually like Kevin Sumlin a lot, and think his team is very, very good. I do NOT rule out an upset here, or a game that is so close that the Aggies stay in playoff contention if they run the table afterwards. BUT…the game is in Tuscalossa, and one that Saban and his charges will take seriously, so one can’t rule out 35-0 in the 2nd quarter neither.

Arkansas at Auburn (6:00, ESPN)

ESPN has timed its programming to kick in early in case of Tuscaloosa shitshow. Can you tell? This is usually the time Pig Sooey decides to start fucking everyone else’s season up. Your turn in the barrel, Aubie.

Ole Miss at LSU (9:00, ESPN)

I’m not really sure what these teams are left playing for, but they don’t like one another and it’s late night in Death Valley. Sign me up.

Washington State at Arizona State (10:00, Pac 12)

Late night tweaker/insomniac games don’t get much SEXIER THAN THIS!! Danger, Coach Leach, a trap game awaits…